[mindmechanic]

So as some of you know from my other thread, the therapist is moving away soon, and yesterday was our second last meeting in-person. Something really off happened.

The therapist was talking, but I interrupted her because she made an inaccurate interpretation about me. I also knew what she was going to continue to say, so I cut her off and shared my thoughts. We also only had ten minutes left in the session, and knowing what I needed from this new topic, I wanted to go over it quickly. Her face got visibly pissed that I interrupted her; she said that I cut her off. I explained why I did it, and she said, "You didn't know what I was going to say." But when I explained why I did it, I had already correctly guessed - or knew - what she was going to say. I did let her finish her thought, though, because she was visibly angry that I cut her off. Her facial expression bothered me, so I brought that up to her, and to which she said that she felt like we were getting stuck on that topic. But we were only five minutes into talking about that new topic. She felt like we were getting stuck, but I actually felt the contrary. That interaction was really strange.

Have you ever interrupted or cut your therapist off while they were talking and how did they respond? Did they get pissed off?

The therapist's response, "You didn't know what I was going to say" also felt off. It didn't feel therapist-ish. "What did you think I was going to say?" - this feels more like a therapist-ish response. And I swear her face got visibly angry; I saw a shift. I'm not sure if I've seen that in her before. And what's weird is that it wasn't the first time that I interrupted her. When I tried to ask her what was going on, she said that she didn't have to tell me how she was feeling. To me, something seemed really off, and I wasn't settled. So I asked her again what was going on, and she responded along the lines that we just talked about it, so why am I still on it. That's passive-aggressive and uncomfortable. Isn't it for patients to say if they're settled on a topic and ready to move on? And she said that she was only a little bit angry in that moment. It seemed like more than just a little bit on her face, though. Is this some kind of countertransference in a negative way? Because her responses seem disproportionate to a patient interrupting a therapist, and she seemed irritated by something. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Of course if a therapist interrupts a patient, that's a different thing.

So yesterday was Friday; I see her Tuesday next time we meet. At the end of the meeting, she said, See you Friday." I said, "It's Friday today; we meet again on Tuesday." Less than a minute later, she said, "See you Friday" again. So I'm trying not to take that interaction above too personally. I'm thinking that it was the end of the day and with her move coming up, maybe she was feeling tired. But as someone who already feels like I'm a burden and should disappear from the face of the earth, her reaction when I interrupted her and then seeming to be irritated makes me feel like disappearing. I don't even feel like going in for our last in-person meeting on Tuesday. Something feels toxic.

[stopdog]

It seemed to me as those guys thought what they were saying was a lot more useful/important than I ever found any of it. I finally just kept telling the woman not to talk at all because of how useless she was when she did.

[mindmechanic]

@stopdog: I know you were not trying to be funny, but LoL. Does she really not talk at all now?

[stopdog]

I quit just before the woman retired, but yes - I told her not to talk and although she did need reminding, she did stop.

[MobiusPsyche]

I consistently interrupted my T for the first six months I saw her. She would take a deep breath sometimes but that was all she ever showed as far as irritation goes.

I've worked on it (interrupting) since then but that's because I realized that I do it with people IRL and I wanted to stop, not because I was afraid of how it would impact my T.

[LonesomeTonight]

My T has specifically told me that I *should* interrupt him if he's going off on a tangent or seems to be totally misinterpreting what I'm saying/feeling. Anytime I start to interrupt him, I stop and apologize out of habit, and he nearly always just says, "It's OK, go ahead." Sometimes I do, other times I tell him to finish what he was saying first. But he's never seemed annoyed about it at all.

If you say she's not usually like this, I imagine it's the stress of the move, of having last sessions with lots of clients, and she's probably distracted. I'm not saying it excuses how she acted toward you, just that I suspect it's not about you in particular. As for saying she'll see you Friday, I can't think of how many times when we're parting ways, my T has been like, "It's Monday, right?" then when I confirm, he says, "OK, see you Thursday" (I see him twice a week). Or he'll say, "It's Thursday, right?" and if I say yes, he'll say, "OK, have a good weekend then." I often forget what day it is, too! And if you normally see her Fridays, she likely just said it out of habit. If you're concerned she doesn't have you on the schedule for Tuesday, you could call or e-mail to be sure.

[mindmechanic]

Should I bring it up to her again the next time we meet or just try to let it go? My fear about doing the former is that she may still be stressed out. I shouldn't have to worry about the therapist's feelings, but if it's not good timing and would be counterproductive, I'd rather not do it.

[SalingerEsme]

I bet she is stressed out of her mind. It is huge to leave your patients, house world, and move. In an ideal world, she would wrap up with as much of what you need as she can give. Some people are bad at goodbye( me) , and maybe she is one?

[mindmechanic]

Hmm; I don't know if she's stressed because she will be physically leaving her patients. I don't think she actually cares about that? She said along the lines that I'll come to find that it wouldn't be much different when we do phone and video call. She also doesn't think or see this as a loss. I disagree.

[nottrustin]

I can imagine this is very difficult for you. I suspect she was upset not because you interrupted her if this is put of character foe her.

I wonder if she is really struggling. She knitted how hard it is on clients that she is leaving. She is also leaving her career so not only leaving the financial aspect but, also, most therapists care about their clients. Add that to the idea of moving and having a very sick grandchild. I wonder of she is having a difficult time managing all the stress and sadneas.

[mindmechanic]

Oh; just to clarify: The therapist isn't leaving her career. She will be continuing to do therapy with us through phone or video call while she's away for the year. She also works at a university-hospital, and she will continue to be working for them remotely; she said that they made those arrangements for her.

Oh goodness my therapist and I both talk so much that we constantly interrupt each other.
I can definitely see why you would find her reaction very stressful. Do you think you could bring it up next time

[mindmechanic]

@Starry_Night: I don't know if it's safe enough to bring it up. That's the problem. LoL.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I quit just before the woman retired, but yes - I told her not to talk and although she did need reminding, she did stop.

Why did you bother seeing a therapist at all if you were simply interested in talking at a blank face? I am genuinely interested, it seems to me that you could have hired plenty of other people to merely listen and be silent (and much more cheaply than a therapist).