This topic came to me after spending some hours looking for a prospective new therapist. It's hard work, and especially sad if you have to leave (or are left behind) by a really good one. My most recent two therapists were great, especially my most recent one, but the former ended her practice, and the latter moved her office over one hour away from my home. Ugh! But there were some real doozies before them.

My current psychiatrist of 13 years is wonderful, and the ones before him were OK or at least pass muster. It is therapists that really provided horror stories.

*Dr. X (psychologist) - Constant text checking, Reese's Pieces eating, overly interested in my sex life, wanted to discuss depression when I was hypomanic, stated that he didn't "believe in" certain diagnoses that appear in the DSM-IV (at that time). And then my husband found on the internet that he had been suspended and fined in the past for having sex with a client.

*The therapist that was "afraid of me" - I had a female therapist that just wasn't prepared to help a bipolar 1 client. She often yelled at me, and at one point I became manic and she "suspended" me telling me not to come back until my psychiatrist said I was well enough. That shocked my psychiatrist who received a call from her saying I "scared her". When I finally returned to her she asked if we could reduce our meetings to once per month. I got the drift.

*Dr. S-F (psychologist) - The "adulation" psychologist. So extreme that I had to consult with my psychiatrist and husband about it. They advised me to ask that psychologist to stop, and I did, but to avail. There were times when I even scolded him for it. In some sessions, the compliment counts numbered as many as six, i.e. "Your hair looks beautiful! Those are the most stylish shoes I've ever seen! Any company in all the world would be honored to have you as an employee! None of my other clients are as conscientious as you! Your voice is so lovely! Your sweater looks so soft, can I touch it? You absolutely amaze me every time you're here! I wouldn't say these things if they weren't absolutely true!" And then once when I asked him if he compliments his other clients like he did me, he said "I wouldn't do so if I didn't mean them 100%" Well, I had to quit him because it really started to spook the hell out of me. He didn't help me in any other way, anyway. My psychiatrist told me to only look for female therapists after that.

*The Animal Farm Therapist - This lasted one session. The moment I sat down on her couch, I had two dogs sniffing me, a cat on my lap, and two behind me sitting on the back of the couch.

How about yours?

[Blueberrybook]

My pdoc is of 10 years is retiring , and I had to find a new pdoc. March 2 I had an appointment with a new pdoc. OMG, I saw the new pdoc and did not like her one bit. First, she wouldn't prescribe me any medications without my getting printouts from both my pharmacy and mail-order pharmacy with a list of current prescriptions. I didn't understand this at all as my old pdoc seemed able to access both of these places on her computer from her office and view all my prescriptions. Also, she wouldn't prescribe meds until I called the hospital and got the blood test results (CBC and so on) from my recent hospitalization (Feb. 14-20 for a perforated ulcer). Hello! I'm just healing from major, extremely painful surgery (made childbirth look like fun, I wanted to die, I hurt so much phsyically). Did she think I had the energy to deal with all these places and get records from all of them? Wouldn't the records from my last pdoc be enough? On top of it, no, she didn't speak fluent English. The straw that broke the camel's back was I asked her if she had an emergency contact number for when I have an emergency that is not a 911 emergency. She didn't seem to understand how you could have an after-hours or vacation problem that is not a 911 emergency and can't wait until the next time she comes into the office. She said she has an answering service. I asked her, do you check the messages every day when you are on vacation or during the weekend? Nope. She only checks the answering service when she gets back into the office. Also, she is only in the nearby office Thursdays and Fridays; if I have an appointment other days of the week, I would have to drive over 1 hr. to see her at her other location. After that horrid appointment, I called my old pdoc's place in tears, and they worked me in to see one of the other pdocs there. He is highly rated, and his wait list is generally around 6 months, but when I explained all the things about the pdoc I went and saw to the receptionist, she did me a favor since she knows how the pdocs at that clinic work. My new pdoc is very good, but not as good as the retiring pdoc. When I was searching for new pdocs, I realized her reviews were 5 star across the board. I really got lucky getting a good 10 years with her, and she is a good person and deserves to enjoy her retirement.

One time while at university, I saw a tdoc who never kept her appointment time. To work seeing her in with my class schedule, I always had to take the first appointment after lunch. She'd arrive 10, 15 minutes late all the time. One time, I was sitting there forever; it had been over an hour, and finally I went up to the receptionist and asked what was going on? "Oh, the receptionist said, didn't she call you? She said she wasn't coming back in after lunch today and would give her clients a call." My cell phone was fully charged, my apartment phone had no message on it when I got back. She just didn't bother to inform me, and let me waste my time. I majored in microbiology, which had me taking some very hard and time consuming classes and labs, and I had to study a lot. Needless to say, I stopped seeing her.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I had a pdoc for a very short time who would be 2-4 hours later every time!!!!! We're taking 8pm appointments

It amazes me how almost cruel some mental health providers can be to patients who need things to be easier and not complex or stressful!

[StrawberryBell]

Wow, the adulation psychologist. How incredibly creepy. What was his end game? Like what was the point? My creepy meter would have been off the charts. So glad you got away.

And Reeses Pieces eating Doctor X. I can't even...

Animal Farm Therapist...I probably would have liked that set-up, but I can see how all those cats might be off-putting

I'm glad you've had good care with other pdocs and therapists to off-set the bad. I've had some bad ones too so this resonates with me. You described your horrific T's so well!

[maybeblue]

My first therapist really, really, really wanted to find some kind of sexual abuse in my history. She talked about it a lot. I kept trying to come up with things that happened...like a flasher once when I was seven, but it was never enough. She kept thinking I was hiding things, but I really wasn't.

Another therapist was very confrontational. He seemed angry all the time. He'd lean forward in his chair and get too close to me. It felt threatening so I fired him over the phone.

[nottrustin]

I have only had one bad experience. Before consulting with current EMDR T, I had a consult with another person. It was horrific. It was somebody T had some professional contact with and tonight seemed good and professional. In the hour she rolls me more about herself than I really needed to know. Like being teased as a child, what she had therapy for during grad school, all the reasons she would not be one a T if she had to do it all over again, and so much more.

She asked me very few questions. At the very end of the appointment she asked me to describe in one stance my trauma. Talked to T after that and she agreed I should never go back. She would also not refer people to that T again.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Oof...any 'therapist' who asks a client to describe their trauma in one sentence...Nope.

My own experience was weirdly similar...the person I met with before R asked me to explain the short version, and then said 'And you can't just let this go?'

[magicalprince]

There's a lot of creepy therapists out there. I always think that. I hate to be judgmental but when I do a search for local therapists the majority seems really weird or unprofessional even at first glance. I've thusfar never had a therapist that didn't feel like they had some kind of serious personality flaw or boundary issue that made them unable to offer decent help or support. I wish the bar were higher tbh.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I met with one therapist before finding my T who was really incompetent, it seemed. First she was 30 minutes late for my appointment (and I could hear her chat to colleagues during that time, she wasn't seeing anyone). The first session was fine apart from that, however, in the second session she asked me why I had not followed through with what she advised me to: she wanted me to find an apartment through some agency that offers student housing. I had not done so yet because I had to talk to my mom first. The T then went on about how I could talk to my mom for almost all of the session.

Issue was that she didn't believe me whenever I said 'if I say X mom will say Y' and that it won't work like that. She said I needed to 'believe in myself more' and to just say what she recommends. If anyone wonders, I tried, and my mom responded exactly as I told the therapist she would.

Then, at the end of the session she said 'you seem to really be doing better' while I was actually suicidal (though she didn't know this, but it's a bit of a stupid thing to say). She then took the freedom to reduce the amounts of sessions to once every two weeks and told me that I'll need to laugh less and show certain fears I was talking about more next time. She seemed to not be able to understand that some people take more than one session to open up about their deepest fears, as well as the fact that some people use laughing as a coping mechanism while stressed.... didn't go back after that, didn't bother to tell her I wouldn't come either.

Thanks, everyone, for sharing your stories! It really does seem like too many people become therapists who shouldn't. I'm sure we all also have some very positive stories we could share, too. I do. Maybe that could be a topic for a different thread someday, if the topic hasn't already been posted in the recent past.

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Oof...any 'therapist' who asks a client to describe their trauma in one sentence...Nope.

My own experience was weirdly similar...the person I met with before R asked me to explain the short version, and then said 'And you can't just let this go?'

I had one who demanded verbatim quotes and graphic details of examples of pretty severe workplace sexual harassment I experienced after wanting the 1 sentence summary.
He kept victim blaming me and saying "It's been so long, and you can't let it go? Stop being a victim and take personal responsibility."

Also told me he didn't believe me about certain teachers bullying me.

So I didn't tell him about any traumas because I knew he'd say the same crap.

Shamed me for shedding tears (after he asked me to describe stuff in graphic detail) saying crying is proof I have emotional regulation issues.

Originally Posted by bellbellbell

Wow, the adulation psychologist. How incredibly creepy. What was his end game? Like what was the point? My creepy meter would have been off the charts. So glad you got away.

And Reeses Pieces eating Doctor X. I can't even...

Animal Farm Therapist...I probably would have liked that set-up, but I can see how all those cats might be off-putting

I'm glad you've had good care with other pdocs and therapists to off-set the bad. I've had some bad ones too so this resonates with me. You described your horrific T's so well!

Thanks, bellbellbell!

The adulation psychologist clearly had some crush on me. Perhaps in the very beginning I was even flirtatious a bit, but only because I think I was hypomanic. But it did grow severely creepy. These compliments were not just during one or two sessions, but pretty much all of the approximately 6 or more. They grew increasingly numerous and extreme. When I told him I was quitting him he knew why, and urged me to go to his wife for therapy instead (she worked in the same building). Why on earth would I do that?!

I've actually not always been the easiest therapy client. When ill, mostly some level of manic, I can either turn off people or just the opposite. I've done much better in recent years since my stable time has really increased. It is best that I have a female therapist, but I've had to work on those relationships in a way, too.

[Fuzzybear]

Shaming therapist(s) and pdoc.

[yellow_fleurs]

I don't really have any horror stories, but I will say that reflecting back on the T I had for an ED when I had anorexia, she said things that were actually very triggering sometimes. If it was meant to help me make progress it was never explained and didn't work. She said during multiple sessions "you must be at your goal weight or close by now, right?" I am sure she didn't mean it to be triggering but all I heard was "you look fat enough to be at a healthy weight" when I still had a BMI that was underweight or qualified me for the anorexia dx, so I think that made it harder to recover. She also said things like "your mom is so tiny". I think she just wanted to help me with my perception or something? It was all triggering since I needed to talk about anything but weight and my ED honestly. Just too much talking about weight in triggering ways for me, made me feel worse and I left farther from recovery than when I started I think. At least she was professional/not creepy like many of these stories.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

I had one who demanded verbatim quotes and graphic details of examples of pretty severe workplace sexual harassment I experienced after wanting the 1 sentence summary.
He kept victim blaming me and saying "It's been so long, and you can't let it go? Stop being a victim and take personal responsibility."

Also told me he didn't believe me about certain teachers bullying me.

So I didn't tell him about any traumas because I knew he'd say the same crap.

Shamed me for shedding tears (after he asked me to describe stuff in graphic detail) saying crying is proof I have emotional regulation issues.

This makes me mad to read. I am not a T and I would have had more common sense than to handle someone with trauma like that. I really can't stand when people make it sound like anyone who has any emotions have regulation issues, too. Emotions are part of being a human and sometimes they can even be extreme if dealing with something major, but if it is not a pervasive issue affecting your life then why is it a regulation issue to be sad about something? It seems very invalidating and then anything you say to the contrary/getting mad could just be used as "proof" you have a regulation issue. Even if you did have emotional regulation issues, which is nothing to be ashamed of, that's not a helpful way to handle it. And the victim blaming? Ugh.

[Out There]

I saw a trauma T who in the second session blew my trauma open. I had to drive 20 miles home after and to this day I'll never know how I didn't have an accident - I think someone must have been looking after me. Not great experiences that people have had.

[bpforever1]

I had one psychiatrist ask me for sex while in a session. I was really ill and thought he was asking for something else until he kept asking me in every subsequent session until I made up my mind to stop seeing him. I never had sex with him but he did much damage to me because I was earthly afraid of psychiatrists after him and did not seek appropriate help for a long time.

[*Laurie*]

I saw a pdoc 3 times. Very odd man in a strange office set-up. The last time I saw him he took a call on his cell phone during my appointment. The call was from a patient with whom he was having an affair. He spoke extremely openly to her as I sat and listened.

It was horrible and I never went back.