[SlumberKitty]

I ended it with T that I had seen for a month and a half on Thursday. I was really nervous because I had decided to do it in person and I knew she would probably say some stuff that really irritated me. Which she did. After about 15 minutes of the session I just started talking about how I wasn't sure CBT was right for me. At which point she starts telling me she's not sure we are a good fit. We kind of go back and forth about this. I told her I hadn't SH-ed in two weeks and that I thought it would make her happy (because she kept threatening inpatient with me because of it) and instead she said I didn't SH in order to spite her. What the...I was like, no, that's not how I am. I really thought you would be happy for me. Then I told her I felt like a failure for not being able to make therapy work with her. She said don't feel that way--not that someone telling you not to feel something changes how you feel--and then it was pretty much time to go. She said I could come back if I felt like doing the work. Again, what the...?!!! Ugh. We really didn't get on well, but I was surprised that I cried on the drive home and I felt sort of lost. Besides I had told her I had suicidal thoughts the day before that almost took me to the ER and she just brushed over it and didn't seem to care that I was going to be leaving her right after feeling so bad. I know I'm better off without her, but the experience definitely made me feel bad. I have an appointment with a T on the 21st that I saw one other time and who didn't seem so argumentative and critical and judgemental and crazy. But honestly that feels like a long time from now since I haven't felt all that stable for the past couple of days. I took Friday off of work as a sick day but it was really just a mental health day. I just needed a break. It helped but not enough. Might be time for a med change. I see my PDOC on the 22nd. But I know he's not going to be enthusiastic about changing meds. Cause this one had been working until all the sudden it just stopped. Ugh. Next time I have to terminate with a T, I don't think I will do it in person. It wasn't worth it.

[susannahsays]

She sounds like a piece of work and a bit passive aggressive.

[stopdog]

I never thought quitting in person was worth handing them money to tell them I was not coming back. I think it is more so that the therapist can congratulate themselves than any real benefit to a client.

[growlycat]

It sounds like you made the right decision for you. I’ve had t’s in the past who just can’t fathom that they own part of the disconnect. I really hope new t works out.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I never thought quitting in person was worth handing them money to tell them I was not coming back. I think it is more so that the therapist can congratulate themselves than any real benefit to a client.

I always thought it was important, vital, and a mark of my supposed integrity that I had an in-person "quit" session or sessions. And then I had my horrid T and I realized that he wanted to string out the whole quitting process in order to make more coin. He had a mortgage to pay! Horses to board! College costs! Also, himself to congratulate. So I no longer think quitting in person is vital and I no longer think of myself as having perfect integrity all of the time. I am happier and more financially stable (though much less perfect).

I say, do what is best in the current circumstance and do not hold yourself to some weird standard about how to end this relationship - nor any other one with a mechanic, hairstylist, physical therapist, etc.

Because life is just so short

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I always thought it was important, vital, and a mark of my supposed integrity that I had an in-person "quit" session or sessions. And then I had my horrid T and I realized that he wanted to string out the whole quitting process in order to make more coin. He had a mortgage to pay! Horses to board! College costs! Also, himself to congratulate. So I no longer think quitting in person is vital and I no longer think of myself as having perfect integrity all of the time. I am happier and more financially stable (though much less perfect).

I say, do what is best in the current circumstance and do not hold yourself to some weird standard about how to end this relationship - nor any other one with a mechanic, hairstylist, physical therapist, etc.

Because life is just so short

I always heard that it is really important to quit in person and I thought it would be good for my assertiveness. It really just was awful. I paid money to end something whereas I would never make an appointment with a dentist or a hairdresser just to end it. I know that it's not the same, but I didn't have a lot of sessions with this T--she was so negative all the time before me and she was so ready to penalize me for everything--I should have just cut my losses and run. Lesson learned. The hard way. I liked how you said life is just so short. No kidding!