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#1
Aug 12, 2018, 01:00 AM
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This might seem silly to comment on, but I'm curious about your thoughts when therapists drastically change their appearance. Such as cutting off most of their hair. With my T I noticed some shock in myself, but not wanting to make her uncomfortable. How much do I comment? Whats too much? Not enough? I mean, I can get through it, but kind of threw me off. Most of her hair is gone and she looks so different. Even my session after that one it took a few extra seconds to recognize her. I don't consider myself to be highly neurotic or anything, and can easily let it go. But makes me wonder how this impacts other people if I noticed a reaction in myself? I'm sure some clients really rely on consistency.
I know some therapists wear nearly the same thing every day and modify their look slowly over time. I know that's only some, but seems like there's a reason why they do that. I swear I'm not the only one reacting to a T's new do. Tell me I'm not alone! |
 CantExplain, seeker33, unaluna
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#2
Aug 13, 2018, 12:35 AM
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I thought I knew Madame T's wardobe pretty well, but in one occasion she wore a dress. And not just any dress, which would have been surprising enough. It was an orange dress with puffed sleeves, like Cinderella.
I was surprised but not alarmed. I hoped it signalled a playful mood rather than her usual mulish persistence.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
 Anonymous45127
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#3
Aug 13, 2018, 04:11 AM
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You're not the only one. I even had a dream once that I went into a session and he looked completely different, almost as if he were a stranger. I think I've started to internalize him, so any drastic change in his appearance would interrupt that.
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| CantExplain
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#4
Aug 13, 2018, 12:12 PM
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Quote:
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| CantExplain
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#5
Aug 13, 2018, 01:22 PM
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Quote:
I have had the same therapist for over twenty years. I did have a few (maybe 3) breaks of a few months to a couple of years now and then. I remember coming back and noticing that he had completely changed his hairstyle. He used to have big curly hair and I noticed that he had all the curls cut off, and his hair was very short. I was soooo shocked that I kept bringing it up throughout the entire session: "Wow, I can't believe that you no longer have curly hair!" He didn't mind my reaction at all. He thought it was funny. But, he looked much better, and I told him so. So, no your reaction is not unusual at all. |
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#6
Aug 13, 2018, 01:48 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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#7
Aug 13, 2018, 01:49 PM
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My T was diagnosed with cancer and went through chemo....suddenly one week she was wearing a head scarf, I had no idea she'd lose her hair that quickly.
Then months later, she suddenly stopped wearing the head scarf and had very short hair...it was really hard to get used to the sudden changes in her appearance for sure! |
| CantExplain
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#8
Aug 13, 2018, 05:47 PM
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My second T never made any drastic changes to her hair but once in a while she would wear something florescent and it would totally throw me off because she usually wore muted colors. It would distract me the whole session and I would just wonder what she thought that day when she got dressed. Not that she looked bad, just it was so different from how she usually dressed. Like maybe she was particularly happy that day or something. Or else, she wore all her regular clothes and hadn't had time to do laundry and just threw that on instead.
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| CantExplain
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#9
Aug 13, 2018, 06:43 PM
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My T's style is unique but has never changed so I haven't had to face that yet. Being honest I don't think I'd really comment on it if she did. I'd figure all her other clients are probably already all over her about it and I hate to be cliche. Plus I realize she's a human with a personality too and realistically isn't going to stay the exact same over time.
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| CantExplain
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#10
Aug 13, 2018, 06:45 PM
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I never noticed their physical appearance that much but I don't think it unusual to do so. I would recognize the woman's voice before I recognized her face.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
| CantExplain
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#11
Aug 14, 2018, 11:46 AM
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I suppose this all is linked to the comfort level we establish with a T or, in my case, a pdoc. For some reason I can handle with no difficulty such a change in appearance a friend might undertake. I am not saying that this has anything to do with transference but there is definitely a comfort zone we develop which can easily be shaken. My sessions with my pdoc are between every 6-8wks. One time I showed up to find him bearing a complete beard. I couldn't take my mind off it during that visit. When, eight weeks later he appeared sans facial hair it was a shocker again. Could it be that this identification with a therapist's appearance is a constant we need?
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| CantExplain
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#12
Aug 14, 2018, 01:06 PM
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I must say that my therapist looks so much better with his new (at that time) haircut!
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| CantExplain
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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