Couch 175: You've Got Mail....

I’ve decided to put my yoga studio membership on hold—I haven’t been there for over a month, and just don’t feel the urge to go.

Their displayed name on their email is “Info.” This has caused me a few confused moments.

He went to the hospital...#23. I just think if he truly loved me, he would see what this is doing to me, , and he would stop this nonsense. But he doesn't care. No one cares. It's all "Poor H". When I came home from the hospital, neither my dad nor H said anything to me about it. It just sucks. I feel so alone.

This may sound harsh, but it is actually may be helpful to you. He probably isn’t even thinking about you. It’s not about loving your or not. His anxiety has taken over and that is all he can think about. I do believe that he needs help and needs to decide to seek that help, but there is a big part of this that he just can’t control.

I know this is straining you personally.. it sucks. But you need to practice self care right now. Distract yourself, do stuff you like to do. The situation you are in is not fair, but it doesn’t have to sink you.

I care. I just wish I could do something.

Hi Healed!

Makes sense, but still hurts.

I'm trying my best to take care of myself: searched for groups, called crisis line, took a bath, listened to music, playing games on my phone, cleaning the house, cuddling with my dogs and my T's stuffed animal, keeping in contact with T, etc. I'm also stressing about my surgery. This is a lot for me to deal with.

Any leads on new therapists for him?

Yep, it hurts and you for sure are allowed to feel hurt. Good job trying healthy coping skills! Keep it up!

maybe this isnt possible in your current state of mind but can you try to maybe detach yourself from him and his issues? it is awesome that you are holding firm to your boundary of not going with him when he makes all his trips. you need to take care of you right now and leaving him to his own devices as it were takes the burden off of you and puts it back on him. just a thought♥

Ugh. No progress yet. Going to the hospital for myself, looking for my own group... haven't had time to write/call all the people.

There is an actual easy way for him to get help. He just has to get rid of his current pcp and find a new pcp at my clinic. If he does that, he'll have access to both a pdoc and a T! And he's been saying he wants to get rid of his pcp anyways...

Sounds like a plan.

Hugs, Scarlet. Try to let go of the "if he loved me he'd do this" thing. It's incredibly hard and I never succeeded at it. For me, it was "if he loved me he'd quit drinking". It led absolutely nowhere but more pain for me and it's still causing me pain. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this. Take care of yourself.

I think I've officially lost my mind. I know there were dirty dishes in the sink. But when I went in to wash them, they weren't there. Either I'd already done them or some dish fairy came along and did them for me. I have absolutely no recollection of washing them, let alone drying them and putting them away. This seems so innocuous but I actually find it worrying.

Hey!!!!!

Two loaded questions for Madame T.

Much as I'd like my next session to be a love fest, there are a couple of questions that I feel I must ask before I can get closure.

1. What did you do to save our relationship?
2. Why is it so difficult to say that you love me?

Things are always pretty quiet this time of night.

I'm here, CE.

By George, i think hes got it! Excellent questions!

I am here as well bouncy bus allowing

I’m off today. They asked me if I could come into work anyway and I said I can’t.
Gotta set those boundaries and not give them too much of what they asked for because then that will lead to them asking all the time. I was flexible last week.

Anyway..I have about 6 loads of laundry to do since I didn’t do any yesterday and the house needs to be cleaned so I guess I should do that.

Wow LT-they reopened your thread! Looks like they removed all the stuff that was not on topic.

I don't remember ever seeing a thread reopened before.

Me Either..but it looks like this time they just decided to remove all the riff raff rather than keep it closed.

Take a bow, LT... your thread closed and reopened.

I was really surprised to see it reopened as well! I actually thought they'd just delete the entire thread.

I slept too many hours last night now I’m super lazy. There’s no middle ground-either I don’t sleep or I sleep too much.