[Crook32]

I know this topic has been beaten to death. It is just my T finally was straightforward with me about emails and when she will or will not answer. She said she in general will not answer my emails because I need to learn to cope on my own. However if she feels I am really bad off and on edge and might need a phone call she will respond. She will also respond to logistical emails like scheduling and such. So at least I can stop guessing and anxiously waiting for an email that will never come.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm sorry @Crook32 It might not have been the response that you wanted. At least you know. Your T isn't going to respond unless you are in a really bad spot, or if it is about an appointment or something. At least you know what the boundaries are. At least you aren't sitting there waiting for an email that doesn't come. How do you feel about what your T said? HUGS Kit

[elisewin]

The reason I was in therapy was that I did not want to cope on my own. I had a need not to cope always on my own. I don't get therapists who don't respond giving this as a reason.

Eta: If they decide not to respond outside the session, fine. There are probably plenty of clients not needing contact. This reasoning just does not make sense to me.

[stopdog]

I never found anything the therapist said useful whether in person or by email -so I just took charge and told her not to respond. It kept the ball out of the therapist's court and I wasn't beholden to her capricious decisions.

[Xynesthesia2]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I never found anything the therapist said useful whether in person or by email -so I just took charge and told her not to respond. It kept the ball out of the therapist's court and I wasn't beholden to her capricious decisions.

This, and also my therapists often grossly misinterpreted why I emailed. It was much better for me when they didn't respond or only responded sparsely/minimally.

[Flinders40]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I never found anything the therapist said useful whether in person or by email -so I just took charge and told her not to respond. It kept the ball out of the therapist's court and I wasn't beholden to her capricious decisions.

Good for you. It’s astounding how some therapists think they hold all of the power and we are somehow beholden to them - when essentially THEY are the hired help.

[justagirl2019]

I'm really sorry, I can tell you're pained by your T's response. I completely get it. I have a bad attachment to my T. I am on the other end of the spectrum, where I am able to reach out to my T as often as I would like to, and she always responds. But please know the grass is not always greener on the other side. In some ways, I think I've been damaged a lot by the lack of boundaries in my T relationship - which is just feeding into my obsession with her. I know it's hard to not take it personally, but please remind yourself that your T is doing this in your best interest. Please remember that. Your T only has your best interest at heart. I'm glad she let you know she will respond/reach out if she feels the need to. That means she really, really cares about you.