Hi all -- to cut to the chase of my question... I've only ever gone to therapy for problem-related/topic-specific reasons (eg. mother's death, long-term break up, etc). Recently, I've considered returning to my former therapist, but there isn't really much I'm "working on" at the moment (besides the regular roller coaster of everyday existence). Really, it's just that I speak freely with my wife and some friends, but sometimes I want someone else to bounce things off of. I recently made a big job-related decision and found myself just wanting to talk it over with my former therapist.

I know people say you don't need a reason to go to therapy, and that alone answers my question. But I'm just wondering if anyone has had a therapist as a sounding board for "everyday" topics in a "non-goal-oriented" way. I guess I'm wondering if it's a waste of money if I'd really just be treating her as a friend. The only reason I'd even consider going back is because I did previously see her as a friendly/maternal (I know, I know, step away from the maternal transference!) influence in my life, and I do miss our conversations.

Thank you for any input!

[stopdog]

I personally do not see a problem hiring a therapist for any reason you want and are willing to pay for.

[Taylor27]

I see no problem with going to therapy to use them as a sounding board, i know for myself some of my sessions have been used for that. I don't think it's wasteful either therapy is meant to get things off our chest. Also it's nice to get a different prespective on things. Hugs

[growlycat]

I’m sort of doing that now. I still work on my driving and highway phobia like we did today. Sometimes my family or past issues will resurface but more often than not he is a sounding board for my everyday life.

We have probably crossed into “pal” territory but always while working on a therapeutic issue. Some will say that it isn’t right for the therapist to do but I feel like I benefit from this setup. Then again I spent years in deep dive therapy that was pretty intense. My needs have changed and I feel lucky to have a t with a flexible style.

[Deejay14]

If I could afford it I would do it. If you can afford it why not? It might be a welcome change for the therapist and give you another perspective.

[peacelizard]

It doesn't entirely make sense to me, but I think, ultimately, as long as you can afford it and they're willing to work with you, it seems harmless

[GeekyOne]

Those are perfectly good reasons to see a therapist. We all need sounding boards and outside perspectives. If you value her input, and see this as worth your time, then absolutely you should do it.

Personally, my T has promised I can keep coming to therapy even if I achieve all my (current) goals. She says she won't just kick me out or something.

It's okay for therapy to not be goal directed - it's literally your time. You're paying her to pay attention to you, to be an advocate for you, etc. We all need that. Good for you for finding someone who can do those things!

[BudFox]

I think all therapy represents a horrible risk-benefit proposition. Can't imagine going there unless at the end of one's rope (and even then...). Have heard of people going in with mild issues and getting stuck in emotional dependency, preoccupation, exhausting rumination, etc.

[Ididitmyway]

I would never pay just to chat with someone outside of my family and friends circle. I understand the benefits of talking things over with the impartial (hopefully) third party with the sympathetic ear, but to me this is not a therapist's role, and so, yes, to me it'd be a huge waste of $$. If I just needed someone to listen, I'd rather find free online sources like forums or "warmlines" or other online support networks that would pair you up with one of their volunteers.

[CantExplain]

Revenge is also a legitimate motive.

I don't see a problem with it either.

actually I've taken it one step further... my old therapist (one of them), I still have the email address for- and write her when ever my current one can't see me

I don't see her in the office, but still write

and she doesn't mind that

[elisewin]

If you feel the need to see a T to cope better with every day matters and stress they cause I don't see that as therapy without a goal. Just that the goal is improved self care within everyday life. So if you feel the need, can afford it and find it helpful then go for it.

[tomatenoir]

You can maintain and improve your mental health, not just fix it. So if you have the money and it's what you want to do, go for it.

I'd just be upfront with the therapist that you're looking for a general sounding board, as some therapists are problem focused /goal oriented and don't believe in open ended therapy.

I'd also suggest getting one who schedules appointments rather than keeps standing ones, so you can taper off or add more in depending on what's going on in your life.

I initially saw my therapist for a serious issue where the weekly standing appointments were a godsend. But I now go for general help with things, and I really wish I had the flexibility to schedule appointments less often.

Good luck!

[Merope]

Sometimes he's my pal. Sometimes he's my dad. Sometimes he's just my therapist. I build him up. Sometimes I take him down from the pedestal, only to build him an even bigger one the next day--it depends where my mind is at that moment in time.

[magicalprince]

If you think you want your T to be a friend, then I say go for it and see what happens. Experience is the best teacher, could be that you'll find it's really about something else.

Thanks, everyone- really interesting perspectives. Ultimately, I'm probably in denial when I think there isn't anything I'm working on. I suppose I was drawn to this forum for a reason. (I'm a newbie) Weird as it may sound, I felt guilty going back without a death or specific marital concern that "justified" "getting help." I might not be looking for a therapist exactly, but there's something I'm looking for that doesn't feel accessible to me at the moment... I think I'll go in and see how it goes. I much appreciate the feedback!

[growlycat]

I always liked this comparison: once you get fit you wouldn’t stop going to the gym right?

[BethMae]

If the therapist doesn't mind and is willing to take your money, it can't hurt!