[nottrustin]

I really am trying to make this work with Emdr T. I know she is trying and understanding for it is so complicated. My
minor child is dealing with some pretty heavy issues. Ed everybody in my life had been telling me to back off because it is issue for mine. I totally disagree as he is still a minor and my responsibility. When talking to emdr T a couple a weeks ago she told me the same thing so I became defensive for a bit then changed the subject. I KNOW T would have known that back in ng off would not be an option but she would have helped me find balance.

I was angry and felt like nobody understood me and was against me. So I told her this week I am upset and frustrated that that nobody seemed to understand or support me. T did any she was one of those people, too. I just looked at her with a look of agreement but changed the subject. She did try to help me find ways to meet my son in the middle.

Uhhhhh. Part of me is also worried that this is all to complicated for her. She did not sign up for this.

[CantExplain]

Can you tell us a bit more about your son?

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Can you tell us a bit more about your son?

I can't go into a lot of details here but he is suffering from an addiction. Nothing illegal but a potential to be harmful. Initially he came to me for help and I helped him tell his dad (my husband). I also found somebody for him to talk to. Then he and everybody told me it is his issue to deal with and it is not my problem so I need to back off.

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I can't go into a lot of details here but he is suffering from an addiction. Nothing illegal but a potential to be harmful. Initially he came to me for help and I helped him tell his dad (my husband). I also found somebody for him to talk to. Then he and everybody told me it is his issue to deal with and it is not my problem so I need to back off.

"Detach with love" is what my T told me to do, regarding my brother. It was very freeing for me.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

"Detach with love" is what my T told me to do, regarding my brother. It was very freeing for me.

My problem is that my son is still a minor. So in my opinion, he asked me for help with an addiction. He is still struggling so you back off and detach is allowing him to continue down a destructive oath.

[RaineD]

Maybe find a new therapist? I mean, you can still see her for EMDR, but you had two therapists before so maybe you can find another one?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

My problem is that my son is still a minor. So in my opinion, he asked me for help with an addiction. He is still struggling so you back off and detach is allowing him to continue down a destructive path.

I'm actually with you on this one. You have every right to be worried and it very definitely your business.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm sorry for all you're dealing with right now. Would your son be willing to see a therapist himself? Like a therapist who is experienced in working with whatever his age group is? And where you could maybe meet with that T a few times, either with your son or by yourself? That would help take some of the burden off of you.

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

My problem is that my son is still a minor. So in my opinion, he asked me for help with an addiction. He is still struggling so you back off and detach is allowing him to continue down a destructive oath.

Oh. I'm sorry.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by RaineD

Maybe find a new therapist? I mean, you can still see her for EMDR, but you had two therapists before so maybe you can find another one?

I have seriously considered this A LOT. My problem is that then I would be even more at square one. The issue is that I know T and I worked together for so long that she knew the background and all my anxiety when it comes to my kids. There is so much that she didn't need to know because it was not part of our work together. So to find another T means I would have to start at the beginning and trudge up all the painful past.