[weaverbeaver]

So lately t and I met again after all of our ruptures.
I feel differently towards t and I don’t feel that what she says is really that Important anymore sand that if I stopped seeing her it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
I am not dependant on her anymore and have lost a lot of respect towards her.
I don’t know if things will ever be the same again between us but I’m some ways I am happy about that because I don’t want her to be important to me anymore. It hiders too much. Can anyone relate?

[stopdog]

Sounds like that is a good place to be.

[Deejay14]

I think you are right..it's definitely not the end of the world. Life will go on and maybe you will find another therapist or maybe even find you can stand on your own so to speak.

Though I know I don't have much context, I think it cold be interesting to see how the therapy changes going forward with this new perspective. It might be useful to go in and talk about things without the distraction of attachment/transference/dependence getting in the way. (In terms of losing respect for her, though... well, that can certainly get in the way and build resentment.)

When I was in my late twenties, I had a therapist who I worked out a lot of "mom issues" with--mainly through a hundred ruptures and several breaks where I promised never to come back again. The more interest I lost in her, the more I was able to simply confront what was going on in that transference. But the difficult part was that the interest went up and down, up and down, up and down.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Sounds like that is a good place to be.

Yes, it’s different and new for me to feel like this as I am usually very attached to t and admire her and hang on every word.
This new experience feels very good for me! I am quite enjoying the freedom and dismissing what she says as tripe!

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by Deejay14

I think you are right..it's definitely not the end of the world. Life will go on and maybe you will find another therapist or maybe even find you can stand on your own so to speak.

You know, I was thinking of getting a new therapist but after speaking to a few I think I have lost respect for the whole profession!
I don’t wish to engage with any therapist again. I find them very false and blow their own trumpet.
My ts qualifications are very basic and I am more trained than she is yet she rubbished everything I said and somehow felt threatened by my qualifications.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by stonesoup

Though I know I don't have much context, I think it cold be interesting to see how the therapy changes going forward with this new perspective. It might be useful to go in and talk about things without the distraction of attachment/transference/dependence getting in the way. (In terms of losing respect for her, though... well, that can certainly get in the way and build resentment.)


When I was in my late twenties, I had a therapist who I worked out a lot of "mom issues" with--mainly through a hundred ruptures and several breaks where I promised never to come back again. The more interest I lost in her, the more I was able to simply confront what was going on in that transference. But the difficult part was that the interest went up and down, up and down, up and down.

Oh I can do relate to what you said and I can see myself and t to n your story!
We have had so many ruptures that I have lost count!
I am seriously on the verge of quitting with her. I don’t want to kiss and make up, I honestly have nothing good to say about her! I don’t understand her and she doesn’t understand me.
In fact, I can feel that she despises me!

[nikon]

i experienced this recently, and it was quite nice. my therapist and i had a rupture a while back, and i never quite recovered the same level of respect or trust after that. i then realised there was no point coming if i felt so ambivalent towards coming, so i stopped. i am looking for another therapist though, because there is stuff i want help with, that i don't know how friends could help with. i used to feel very dependent on therapy though, and now i feel like i would be ok without it if necessary, which is positive.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by nikon

i experienced this recently, and it was quite nice. my therapist and i had a rupture a while back, and i never quite recovered the same level of respect or trust after that. i then realised there was no point coming if i felt so ambivalent towards coming, so i stopped. i am looking for another therapist though, because there is stuff i want help with, that i don't know how friends could help with. i used to feel very dependent on therapy though, and now i feel like i would be ok without it if necessary, which is positive.

Thank you for your reply, it is nice to come to this realisation, isn’t it?
Do you feel therapy was successful then, because they say once you are able to manage without it and don’t need your t then it’s pretty much done! I then wonder how many people after completing therapy still have respect for the profession

[nikon]

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

Thank you for your reply, it is nice to come to this realisation, isn’t it?
Do you feel therapy was successful then, because they say once you are able to manage without it and don’t need your t then it’s pretty much done! I then wonder how many people after completing therapy still have respect for the profession

yes, it's much better to feel detached than to be painfully attached and have needs of the therapist that will never be met.

no, i don't think it was successful. there were/are some things that i want emotional closure with, and i don't feel like i achieved that. i also have unresolved problems i want to address, and i felt too uncomfortable to talk more to this therapist about them because of various reasons.