[yellow_fleurs]

I feel uncomfortable with therapy. I am an open person with my close friends, and have told numerous friends details about my life including things that trouble me, problems from my past, my anxieties, etc. I have tried to analyze my past, and my present situations. I make behavioral changes, such as eating well, exercising, etc to take responsibility for my mental health. I challenge and expose myself to my anxieties. I have learned to be mindful of my moods. I am unaware of any major traumas I am afraid to talk about. So, I really cannot understand what it is about therapy, but the couple of times I have tried it it has really made me feel uncomfortable, and not in a good, digging deep and dealing with stuff kind of way. Just, it feels unnatural or something. When I don't get anything out of it, I wonder why that is and if I am just not trying. I feel like my psychiatrist will suggest it again since I don't think I want to do meds, but that going will seem like I am just going to try it because I feel that I should. I also think therapy is great for many people and support it, just I cannot get it to work for me for some reason.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Do you think you need therapy?

Therapy is not an end all be all thing. For me, therapy is mostly about the things you've mentioned in your post: making changes for the better, taking responsibility, learning how to deal with moods. I'd not necessarily say that it's about understanding the past. You can do that, but you don't have to.
Some people, like me, need help with those things. I used to read books on how to deal with my emotions. And then was like 'yeah, I already knew all these things, but it doesn't work anyways'. I tried to make changes, and some of those things did work, but it never really helped me a whole lot. Therapy helps me by helping me implement all these things that I tried before and somehow failed at.

Now, if you are happy with how your life is going, you feel that you are coping with things in your life, you manage your feelings well, and so on, then maybe you just don't need therapy. Not everyone does. Some people find relieve in sports or in just reading about what they should do and doing it. Whatever works for you.

However, if you actually feel like you need the support of therapy in your life, then I'd ask how many different therapists you have tried and what their orientation was (i.e. CBT, psychodynamic, something else..). A lot of things need to fall in place to make therapy work properly. Some people love CBT, others hate it, same with all other kinds of therapy. And even if the form of therapy is a good fit, the therapist also needs to fit your needs. So it can well be that you need to shop around for a good while before finding someone who you feel can truly help you.

[yellow_fleurs]

It's a good question. It's not so much that I think I need therapy, as that I have not been doing well and meds made me worse, so I am stuck and kind of struggling. Still I work on the things I think I would in therapy, and haven't previously found therapy helpful. I have tried CBT, and also saw therapist when I was younger for an eating disorder that I think did psychodynamic (ended up recovering on my own since it didn't help). Basically, I have MDD, GAD and PMDD, and antidepressants put me in a mixed episode so I possibly have bipolar disorder instead of MDD, but we are not yet sure. After 2 bad med reactions I am scared to try anything else at the moment and my pdoc agreed we should try without meds for a bit to see my baseline.

Possible trigger:

This whole mood episode has left me suicidal at times and wanting to self harm which I never have done, but I am able to use coping/distress tolerance skills to prevent myself. This has also become better off the meds, although not completely when on my period. So, not sure what else they would teach me in therapy besides what I already do? I just want these moods and whatever else is possibly going on in my head to stop. I can manage it, which I think is mostly what I would learn in something like DBT and I am working on mindfulness and meditation anyways.

I suppose I should just keep doing what I am doing. I think my pdoc is recommending therapy mostly because he doesn't know what else to offer. Thanks for your response.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I think in your case what some people might get out of therapy would be to have somebody there to talk to (that would be more psychodynamic but focused on support). I.e. they don't want to go to their friends 24/7 to have support, because the friends get annoyed and so on. Much of therapy for me is not about telling me new things, it's just having somebody who isn't bothered if I repeat over and over how bad my life is.

If you feel like you can do fine without that, I think not going to therapy is a perfectly valid option. The things you learn in therapy are not things you can learn without.

[susannahsays]

Maybe you would do better with group therapy. Maybe a DBT group? I know you don't want to do meds, but would you consider a birth control pill? You alluded to what sounded like some hormonal mood issues, and being on the pill can really help - and there generally isn't the same level of side effects as with psych meds.