Couch 176: The happy cake couch

Hugs! Aw, I remember that joke, I found it funny and felt flattered though I couldn't solve Artie's phone issue!

When I'm sad due to Ch (T's first two characters of her name) making me think of painful things I rather forget (eg parental abuse and emotional neglect) or miss her cuz she's Not There and just flipping waltzes off to her next session / her weekend / a holiday... I turn the Sad into MAD too.

She's on holiday...and I'm not mad with her right now...but I sure don't like it's 4 more weeks till I get to see her.

It's OK to be sad and/or mad. Did R reassure you that he's coming back? Ch did, she was so sweet and I felt so "stupid" for feeling so comforted when she said she'd be back twice in a row. Therapists like to open Stuff then shuffle us out! I mean we've coping skills (some which they might call maladaptive but I believe those skills kept us going?) but it still sucks. A LOT.

A 6 week break is insane, but I can understand needing reassurance.

I emailed him yesterday, to which he did reply. Today I messaged him at 12.30 asking if he had that monday evening session which he charges more was still open. He also did give me a session whilst on holiday- so I do think I am one of his nuttiest clients. I hate that I can't call him but mainly the fact that I'm so dependent on him.

I don't feel like I've been taught how to deal with all the painful feelings that came up- I had to google that myself and clearly it hasn't been working so well as I've been so out of my mind.

Hugs! Tbh I still record sessions and being able to rehear particularly reassuring phrases she's said, or rehear imagery rescripting exercises on painful memories or of co-creating safe places help a lot.

As for attachment stuff and the grief that often follows closely behind, I usually let myself cry and cry and try to accept the feelings with self compassion. Including accepting (the best I can, I struggle with it too) that I'm attached rather than going back to my deeply ingrained self blame brain virus scripts.

Maybe you could also write out her kind words on a card so you can also see them written out.

Hi couch! Sending out hugs/headnods all around as appropriate.

Sending puppy licks back!

I just felt a huge way of panic again.

I hope it goes away soon. I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you- just feeling stupidly nauseous now. I've never been like this before. I snapped at creepy guy, when he rang my bell and pulled a face when I said I didn't take photos of ECGs when I went to do the stitches thing....

I just feel irritable today and I'm not even sure why. I just want to sleep. But I'm proud of myself for not sleeping all weekend. But today I'm like bleh. I'm sad and tired and irritable and ugh...maybe sick of myself.

Just got back from a family gathering from my mother's side of the family. There's something very uncomfortable about listening to family stories about a certain deceased family member, days after sitting in therapy talking about the trauma caused to me by them.

I'm sorry that happened.

Last night was #35. I guess the hospital is tired of him because he said they just sent him home without doing anything.

Good news! First, I think I found a new pcp. Problem is that I lose my pdoc if I switch. But I think I found a new pdoc too! He has like 45 ratings on yelp with an average of 5 stars. Not too bad. And even better is that he does therapy too. I don't need his therapy, but it will be great for my H! So we both have an appointment on the 20th. Ex-Pdoc would be so proud of me for even considering switching.

I need an opinion on if I am being a horrible person because I am considering going to the vet and put my dog down. She’s a 13 year old rat terrier that’s diabetic. She has fat around her organs and her liver is enlarged. Just this past week she got done a 2 week round of antibiotics due to a bladder infection. Now today and yesterday she is starting to pee all over the house again-despite being let out constantly throughout the day. If I’m being honest it’s got to the point where just over the past 2 months I’ve spent around 1200 dollars on vet visits. I honestly just can’t keep up with her anymore. My dog still eats well, drinks normally and will take a walk without any issues. But at the same time I think this may be the best thing for her. I feel like I am horrible for even thinking about this but she’s honestly just become too much. I’m afraid the vet will judge me and give me a bad reference when I adopt dogs in the future. I also think my H will hate me for considering this course of action. He misses our other dog horribly that died last October. My other dog was his best friend. I don’t even know if I can bring myself to ask H if he also thinks we should consider this course of action. Please no lectures that dogs are a big responsibility. I know that. I just want opinions on if what I’m thinking is horrible and opinions on how to approach the vet.

Maybe voice concerns to the vet that her peeing all over the house means she's in distress? The vet won't judge you if he/she thinks you're doing the best thing for your dog

Jersey—if the incontinence is the immediate issue, can you use dog diapers?

Every time I take her to the vet he wants to run another test or try something different with her insulin. It’s been every 2 weeks or 3 weeks looking for answers and after spending another 200 bucks he says it’s age. I’ve drained any extra money I have on her.

It’s part of the issue but not the whole issue.

Jersey, after the hopeless way my dad died, i really see no reason to keep spending money on truly fruitless attempts to delay the imminently inevitable.

Just got back from an extremely emotionally draining session. I watched this video () this weekend and it really got to me. I was the starving person in my marriage for way too long. I decided to talk about this today, but it was really difficult to do so. We've talked around it before, but today I had him watch the video. I ended up sobbing behind a pillow for the better part of the session. He was really understanding and kind to me today. I see him tomorrow and then he's gone for the next 8 days.

I’ve been adjusting my life around my dog. When she needs to eat, get her insulin, sleepless nights because she has to go out overnight 2-3 times. She’s a full time job. On top of my job and I paid a bill late because of one of her vet visits and I thought I had more money than I actually did.

It sounds like you have done the best you could for possibly as long as you could. It might be time to start a discussion with H about what is best for the dog and what is best for the family.

Jersey - Have you thought of maybe a rescue? So you won't feel guilty about having to put her down. My sister and my dad have done that and the dog gets to live out it's life.

Does your H help you out with the dog duties? Maybe you can ask him to help out a lot more.

Jersey - I usually base my pet demise decisions on their quality of life. If they are not in pain and still enjoy food and anything else and can move, then they stay. Pain or immobility (which to me would be frustrating for them) are my bar. This has lead me to living in some crazy ways with my dogs and I had one old girl who was incontinent and it was not fun for me. She did not seem to mind really.