Couch 176: The happy cake couch

It's a reinvention of a 70s show called Prisoner the characters and the plots are all the same iwatched it as s kid

Interesting! I’m totally hooked.

Ooo, I might have to watch that. I watched The Prisoner series a few years ago.

Speaking of peaches... This is Peaches 🍑

I woke at 4.30am and the anxiety was stupid. It's 6.25am and it's still here and i'm on the verge of tears. I'm going to go to the psych department at 9.00am on the second floor and ask to see the head of psychiatry or if he's not there another psychiatrist. Or i might ask for the T who taught my group i don't know yet.

I just emailed the psychiatrist who i saw who gave me the zoloft but i doubt anyone will be awake now.

well i did go the hospital. The place where we had our psychology classes had this corridor which i thought was the office area- but it turns out that was the office for internal medicine. I cried in front of a doctor then his secretary and was told I was in the wrong department. I needed to got the left. That had words like trauma written. So i went down to the childrens psych office as that's where the woman who ran our psych classes had her office- it's under construction. I saw a woman and showed her the psych class woman's name. She said 10mins but i didn't even know if she was there or not. I didnt want to knock on the doors where they actually have patients in beds. So i ran away.

The other doctor opens his office in 14 mins. I wonder how crazy it would be for me to just turn up without an appointment and ask if i could be seen.

my brain is literally jumping off the walls, the worst part was feeling like i couldn't breathe.

I called the doctor- he's working 40km away at another location from where I live now. Tomorrow he will be here. He could see me in between patients. I see R tomorrow anyway. I've just wasted the morning I guess.

I think "Prisoner" and "The Prisoner" are two very different shows.

((LemonCake))

It's kinda like 12.26 am now. I went and practiced sutures and even cried in front of the assistant who told me I was doing a good job. I emailed R again asking if he still had that monday slot he used to charge a bit more open. He just got back- bring in the crazy. I can't calm down. My throughts are running inside my head. My brother is at school and i'm still crying like a loony.

Found a friend willing to rent with me as his family is moving around the same time mine is. Problem: I absolutely can't afford a 2 bedroom unit (we both NEED our own rooms) - if we find a third person, I can barely afford one third of a 3 bedroom unit. And I won't save a single cent but in fact have to dig into my savings while working this 50 hour a week job.

Rent is ridiculously expensive in my country. There's many damn good reasons why folks live with their family till marriage or even beyond.

My dad tried enlisting my sister to get me to stay. She told him it's my choice and he wasn't happy. He's probably going to corner me again like he already did before trying to rope in my sister.

I'm trying my best though it doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere just yet.

Hugs, hugs. I'm sorry you're suffering. I'll sit with you with tissues and if you like, I'll hold you.abd stroke your back as you cry all you need.

Aww



I watched this video the guy said to hold your breath and put cold water on your face. It kinda helped. My brain is done though- it was 6 hours of scazy panic.

Hugs. That's a long time to have relentless waves of panic. I'm glad you feel a little better. It's OK if you need time, coping skills, friends, couchies to feel better.

I can understand why you'd need your own room. Maybe you can get a fourth person to jump in?

How much does a a one bed room flat or a studio cost and how much of a deposit do you need to apply for a mortgage? Are there any help to buy schemes for first time buyers?

Ah I think I spammed this couch with nonsense.But thank you QM- it really does mean a lot.

I've spammed the couch before too.

4 bedroom units are uncommon for rent in my country. I've looked and haven't found any studios or 1 bedroom units for rent as usually they're rented out by the government to destitute families. I'm not destitute. I'm also not being abused badly enough to qualify for shelters or those units.

So looking for 2 bedroom units (smallest possible option) with my friend or a third person so we can rent a 3 room. Can't partition a bedroom into two rooms due to residential regulations.

If I really can't find anything, I'll rent from an aunt staying with my disabled aunt but I rather not since she's incredibly invasive plus loves my father and doesn't believe he's abusive.

Just looking at renting as usually only married people can afford to buy. Most people live in public housing. Singles have to wait till a certain age to be able to buy studio or 1 bedroom or 2 bedroom and I'm too young and will hopefully have moved to be with my partner in Scandinavia by then.

Eta: haha the stuff I wrote about government and renral housing = a PC visitor reading it from my country will instantly recognise I'm from there xD

8 characters

Pain and wanting support is not "nonsense". *stern* *hugs*

I'm constantly wanting to whine about how envious I am of my sister and a friend who live very comfortable lives without needing to work a full time job...

I grew up in a big house with my grandparents. aunt and cousin too-and the whole thing can become toxic quickly if there's abuse. Fingers crossed you find something that works for you. How much are you able to save whilst living at home?

I save about...just over 20% of my salary after taxes. I can't cut my budget any further: It's all fixed expenses like food, medical bills, therapy, insurance for if a car hits me and I'm permanently disabled or die.

Thank you for the well wishes and I'm sorry you get what a toxic household is like. I really hate sounding like I'm full of "I can't, I can't..." :/ A huge part of me is still terrified I'm even THINKING of moving out, especially since my dad's trying to dissuade me. And my partner doesn't want me to move out in the interim period before I can move countries.