[annielovesbacon]

Alcohol tw for post below.

I have a drinking problem that I haven't really explored with my therapist. About a year ago, maybe more, I mentioned that I drink when I'm sad to which she said "I didn't know you dealt with your problems with alcohol" and she reassured me that that was normal and we talked a little bit about it but I didn't express how bad the problem is, at least it is bad in my opinion. I am even drunk writing this right now. I drink every day.

Anyway, my question is, I want to tell her about it. But I am too scared. I am thinking about showing up to my next session drunk (I walk there, don't drive so don't worry) because I am more open when I am drunk, plus it would show that the problem really is bad. Or at least it is bad in my opinion. Is this a crazy idea? I just have been holding back so many things from her for so long and maybe if I was drunk, maybe just tipsy even, I could open up more and then we could talk about it.Am I insane?

[winterblues17]

I'm not sure about turning up drunk, I believe many Ts probably wouldn't see a client drunk, but I understand why you would feel the want to do it!

I'm like you, when I've had a bit to drink I find it way more easier opening up, I also have thought about it myself for that reason. Although like I said I don't think she would probably see if that way!

On that note though, whilst not drunk I have on a few sessions knocked back just a little, not enough to distort or affect my outwardly appearance, but I don't know it is just a placebo for me that because I've had a small intake I be able to open up. For me that did kinda help, not that I'm recommending it, but like I say just be a little careful.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I have an on and off problem with alcohol. There's time where I also am drunk pretty much every day. I've played with the same idea as you.

Some Ts will kick you out if you're drunk. Maybe not if you just had a beer. But if you are intoxicated, therapy won't work as well. So that's something to think about.

Personally, I always decided to not drink before appointments. I know it's much easier to be open when drunk. But honestly, it feels much better to be open when not drunk. When I manage to be open, I'm usually very proud of myself.
I also know that feeling of 'showing how bad I am'. The truth is, though, that your T should be able to know that it's bad if you tell her that you are drunk every day (maybe even tell her that you are thinking about showing up drunk). I know society plays down how bad alcohol is, but I don't think most Ts do. So if you say that you're drunk every day and feel she doesn't get it, that sounds already like it should tell her enough.

Have you thought about writing down things you'd like her to know while drunk? You could bring in some notes like that, but be sober. Then you get the benefit of both being able to be open and to not be told to leave or to not be able to discuss things rationally.

[Rive.]

You're not insane as you're trying to break down a barrier so you can share with her but I don't think it's a good idea.

Many Ts won't see clients who are inebriated or under the influence etc. Hence, this 'strategy' might be counterproductive.

It can be so hard to verbalise at times. Could you print this post and email it to her? Or show it to her in session?

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

Alcohol tw for post below.

I have a drinking problem that I haven't really explored with my therapist. About a year ago, maybe more, I mentioned that I drink when I'm sad to which she said "I didn't know you dealt with your problems with alcohol" and she reassured me that that was normal and we talked a little bit about it but I didn't express how bad the problem is, at least it is bad in my opinion. I am even drunk writing this right now. I drink every day.

Anyway, my question is, I want to tell her about it. But I am too scared. I am thinking about showing up to my next session drunk (I walk there, don't drive so don't worry) because I am more open when I am drunk, plus it would show that the problem really is bad. Or at least it is bad in my opinion. Is this a crazy idea? I just have been holding back so many things from her for so long and maybe if I was drunk, maybe just tipsy even, I could open up more and then we could talk about it.Am I insane?

I strongly suggest that you DON'T show up drunk for your next session. Your T may refuse to have a session with you if you are high/drunk/stoned, etc. Why not just print out what you've posted here, and read it to T?

[AllHeart]

Well, you are hardly insane. I do get it. I used to pull into ex-t’s parking lot sometimes and take a quick hit to relax and help me open up. Ex-t had no idea though. Even if she had known she wouldn’t have cared. She likely would have encouraged me to smoke more!

If I did this with current t, she would probably notice and probably not take too kindly of it (weed isn’t legal in my state). I don’t know what the repercussions would be and I don’t want to find out (nor is it a need or desire for me to do at this point). So what I’m getting at is do what you need to do but make sure you think it through entirely when sober first. Good or bad—there will be consequences for your actions. Just be prepared for any outcome.

[treevoice]

Hi there,

Alcoholic here (4 years sober).
I once went to a therapy appointment drunk. I didn't plan on it or have a motive in doing so, but it happened. She didn't notice at first (I was one of those drunks that could usually get away with it) but I did tell her at some point throughout the session. She stuck it out with me and we had a really good conversation, but 1. I barely remembered any of our breakthroughs the next day and 2. she wouldn't see me again after that.

One of the biggest lies alcohol tells us is that it frees us from our barriers, but that really isn't true. If anything, it tricks us into thinking we need it to be ourselves and be honest, and plays into the anxiety we have when we are sober that keeps us going back for another drink. I think it could be a really great exercise for you to make an effort to bring it up to your T sober, even if only as a small victory to show yourself that you can. The hardest but also most critical aspect of my sobriety was convincing myself that I could be brave without it - give yourself a chance!

Best of luck. <3

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by treevoice

Hi there,

Alcoholic here (4 years sober).
I once went to a therapy appointment drunk. I didn't plan on it or have a motive in doing so, but it happened. She didn't notice at first (I was one of those drunks that could usually get away with it) but I did tell her at some point throughout the session. She stuck it out with me and we had a really good conversation, but 1. I barely remembered any of our breakthroughs the next day and 2. she wouldn't see me again after that.

One of the biggest lies alcohol tells us is that it frees us from our barriers, but that really isn't true. If anything, it tricks us into thinking we need it to be ourselves and be honest, and plays into the anxiety we have when we are sober that keeps us going back for another drink. I think it could be a really great exercise for you to make an effort to bring it up to your T sober, even if only as a small victory to show yourself that you can. The hardest but also most critical aspect of my sobriety was convincing myself that I could be brave without it - give yourself a chance!

Best of luck. <3

I think this is really on point. The other thing with alcohol is that it dethrones the outer cortex of your brain, the problem solving/higher order thinking that leads to the expression "stupid drunk." So even if you are somehow magically more open (and as the above poster noted, there are other ways like a few seconds of courage, besides drinking), your cognitive abilities related to processing of information are impaired, so at best it's a trade off.

I do think that raising your desire to drink before session and having a discussion about it with your T might be much more helpful than showing up drunk and hoping she gleans the true nature of the problem you have with alcohol.

[elisewin]

We once discussed this, in general how sometimes clients show up drunk or heavily hang over in sessions. She said she just tries to keep them "in mentally safe space" then and not proceed on any deep therapy really. And definitely not encourage any drunken opening up. I think it is a good way to deal with it without shaming the client. But it is daycare, not therapy.

[Siennasays]

I brought up drinking before coming into therapy before, as a way to help me open up and T said "if you did that, I'd have to send you home". But, I can very much relate to you wanting something to make you more easily able to open a discussion.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

annie, it's not a good idea, and this is exactly why:

Originally Posted by treevoice

Hi there,
One of the biggest lies alcohol tells us is that it frees us from our barriers, but that really isn't true. If anything, it tricks us into thinking we need it to be ourselves and be honest

Hugs. In your posts, I see such a desire to be healthy and feel better. Talking about your idea to show up drunk might be a good "in" to broaching the topic of your drinking.

[peacelizard]

I think it's important to bring up in therapy, yeah, especially when you yourself identify it as a problem; it might provide validation for you as well as possibly starting to work on why you drink so much (maladaptive coping skill?), if there are more helpful alternatives, and if additional treatment is needed e.g. depending on how much you drink, it's not entirely implausible that you would need to go inpatient to detox safely (but obviously check with a doctor)