Had a good session today!

My last session was 9 days ago, and I didn't email at all. I told T that I wanted to leave her alone so she could enjoy her family and her daughter's wedding. She said she appreciated that. So I asked if she could show me a photo from the wedding so she did. I told her I couldn't find any online. I even asked her questions about her other daughter and she answered.

I didn't drive; I got a ride though I probably could have but I was afraid. I had some emotional stuff happen while T was gone, so I had a lot to tell her. Plus I of course updated her on my physical condition. Then we took a walk outside because it was a beautiful day and it hurts me to sit anyway.

T said she thinks I'm getting better and she doesn't want me to come twice a week anymore. Others say I seem better too, though my pain hasn't decreased. I think it's even worse because I can't fall asleep. I'm stronger and less shaky though. I think it's because I'm off the meds.

When there were only a few minutes left, I looked into her eyes for the first time during the session, and told her that. I said "hold my hand" and she did! I said this was nice; I'm so natural with her now. She agreed. I said I know we're not friends though we're very close because it's been 8 years. She agreed with that too.

Of course if it weren't therapy we would possibly have had this relationship right away. Or maybe not. I make close friends a lot easier than I used to. I don't know if T is letting the boundaries get blurry but I don't think so. I think it's the way I ask now. I'm not doing it in an obsessive, secretive way. I'm just outwardly curious and I ask her directly. It's kind of refreshing for both of us! I'm definitely different from how I previously acted with her. In a positive way.

I'm glad your session went well!
My T is having another procedure next week, and so I won't see her again until September 12th. We discussed all the ways I could practice self-care, and she encouraged me to call her if I needed to. I wished her good luck...that is, I wished her good health in terms of the results of her upcoming procedure. But just now, reading your post, rainbow, I wish I had asked if I could hug her. For her sake as well as mine. Oh well. Maybe next time.

I'm glad you had a good session. How do you feel about her wanting you to cut back to once a week? Is she insisting on that or leaving it up to you? To me, you're still struggling a lot with pain, so maybe isn't the best time to cut back...

I'm glad you had a good session!

Thank you. I hope your T's procedure goes well! What stops you from asking if you can hug her? Have you two ever hugged? There comes a time in long term therapy, I think, when it's okay to act like you would with a close friend going through something. If you feel like hugging your T, ask and I bet she will be fine with it.

I agree with T. I only saw her twice a week for 3 weeks. It's a lot of money, she said. That was strange. I said I don't mind giving her so much. I can manage once weekly as I did before.

Thanks, SlumberKitty.

That sounds like a very healthy session to me I'm glad it went well for you.

Rainbow,
Yes we hugged when I was going to have surgery.