Help please

I'm new to therapy and I wondered if anyone could share a similar experience, or put a name to what happened to me?

For most of my last session I completely shut down, hands over my ears, just listening to the white noise in my head. Eventually I heard my therapist say the session was over (she repeated it a couple of times) and I came to myself enough to quickly leave.

I found I was hugging myself afterwards and stayed functioning but "blank" for what seemed hours.

I think I know what triggered that state (nowhere near ready to talk about it) and I figure I had a freeze response, but I'm guessing. I'm also interested in why she didn't intervene?

Any insight/experience would be helpful, thanks.

Hi, this sounds like dissociation. It happens when we think about something extremely stressful or when we are in very stressful circumstances. It's a defense mechanism that the brain uses to protect itself. It's common in people with trauma.
I myself had a very similar experience on Thursday after my session.

Sorry this happened to you - sounds dreadful. I've had similar experiences. Talk to your T about what was going on from her perspective. Sometimes it's hard to know what really happened when one was dissociative. She may have been talking to you, or tried to intervene verbally, and it didn't filter through to you until it was time to leave. I think T's are generally taught to intervene verbally, since touching people in such a state is a pretty good way to get punched.

I would ask her about it and see what went on. I am confused as to why she would let you go home like that though.

Thank you for your replies, it's good to have contact with people who have had similar experiences.

It is possible that she spoke to me before the session ended, I seem to recall something but whatever is was seemed a million miles away, it still does if that makes any sense.

I feel like I fled the room, she couldn't have stopped me if she had tried.

I know i need to talk it through but I feel like I've done something wrong.

I did this today, too...I was almost completely silent, except when I was crying. She moved closer to me and took away the razor blade I was playing with and held out her hands to me instead, to take if i wanted to (I did, eventually.) I cried and she took a tissue and wiped away my tears. But she didnt try to make me talk and she said it was okay to be silent. She did comment on one thing tho- when I was dissociating I guess my body would shake or something every now and again and she asked me what was going on when that happened but I did not answer.

I've had similar things happen with my last T. Whatever it is, a meltdown, a shutdown, dissociation, it sucks. But we worked through it and around it together, during our time together.


The way you reacted is okay. You were triggered by something, and it's your T's job to help you through that. Hopefully next time it doesn't get to that full-blown shut down stage, and you're able to 'untangle the knot' a little.

It was a horrible experience and knowing that I'm not the only one helps, although I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I'll wait for the next session but am having to stop myself from getting in touch with her before that. I would be looking for reassurance but would probably find a way to twist any reply into something else.

So hard.