Okay, so I asked my T if I could email him between sessions. He said YES! I couldn't believe it. He moved a boundary just for me. He said this was the first time he had done this. Last session, he scheduled me at a time when he had planned to go home. Just for me. So why am I struggling with what to say in an email to him? I am allowed to email him once. I usually have all of these feelings going on in between sessions that I desperately want to tell him. So what gives? I hate REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY! But, I'm glad that I can email him. My thoughts/feelings change by the second . . .

Hahaha I'm not laughing at you I'm just laughing at the first time my T told me I could call him anytime I want and then when I needed to call him I just completely froze and was like, "I can't do this!!!"

I think as much as we hate those %#@&#! boundaries they become comfortable for us-- yeah, we abide by T's boundaries, but in a way, we are creating our own as well.

When we get "permission" to cross those lines it almost feels wrong, I think. Like, imagine you were in a store and then someone came in and said, "Ok-- just take anything you want-- shove it in your pockets, and take it-- it's okay you won't get in trouble, you won't get arrested--I promise you." I know that I'd kinda stand there, thinking, "What the %#@&#!???" And I probably wouldn't start taking things right away because it wouldn't seem right.

Maybe start out by telling him that you are struggling with this first email. Just go with your in-the-moment feelings. Sometimes that helps.

[sunrise]

Maybe you don't have anything to email him right now, and that's OK. You don't have to email him each week if you don't have anything to say. Maybe just having the freedom to contact him has helped alleviate the pressing need to communicate. You know he's there if you need him, so that allows you to relax and need him less.

[Perna]

I think Pink is on to something with the built=in prohibitions. I had fun in college trying to get a friend to throw a bucket of water at me (in the tiled, dorm, hallway) like she feinted doing. I was in a homemade, easy-care dress that would not be a problem if it got wet, the floor was fine for getting wet, etc. But we had to work on her forever to get her to let loose and throw the bucket of water at me like in all the movies.

[MissCharlotte]

Maybe you just need to know that he's there if you need him. And knowing that you have access provides the comfort and soothing you require right now? And in five minutes when you want to curse him out you can by e-mail. Just be sure before you hit send!

LOL