[Qasd45]

I admitted I was starting to feel an attachment to my therapist. They were ok with that, etc. But, they admitted to me they've never felt that for a therapist. They literally said they put walls up in their own therapy. Isn't this a bad sign? How could they be getting a benefit from therapy if they put walls up?
They want me to develop a secure attachment to them, but on the other hand, look what they do in therapy. I'm questioning their abilities to handle me properly now.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry I don't really know anything about this. But I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. I believe the typical recommendation for something such as this is to talk how you're feeling through with your therapist. Here are links to 4 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that address the therapeutic process:

Frustrated with Your Therapy? Talk about It!

Therapists Spill: How to End Therapy

Therapists Spill: When You Have a Bad Therapy Experience

Therapists Spill: 10 Tips for Making the Most of Therapy

I think it’s odd your therapist responded to your feelings by talking about their own therapy. Some people go to therapy without feeling the attachment/transference others experience, so I don’t think that’s necessarily a red flag. My therapist has talked me through many things she hasn’t experienced herself, and it’s okay. But if she reacted to my feelings in a way that almost felt like my reaction was wrong/immature and she never had that reaction because she’s so perfect... that would piss me off. Good luck to you.

[stopdog]

it does seem an odd thing from a therapist. did they do therapy on their own or just to fulfill a requirement if their school made them?
all the therapists in those links blame the client. I would not use therapists as the guide.

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by Qasd45

They want me to develop a secure attachment to them...

not sure if your T not being able to attach to their T is relevant to her competency in your therapy, but i do think it is a 'big ask' to request that a client form a secure attachment to the therapist, especially when the relationship is limited due to being one sided and non-reciprocated. i would argue that a true 'secure attachment' is more probable in a relationship with a person who can fully reciprocate the love and care while providing a sense of trust and safety. perhaps what is more important is a 'good enough' attachment to the T where the client feels safe enough to build and maintain a sense of trust to share and work through their issues and fears.

[Ididitmyway]

It wasn't smart of your therapist to share this fact about their therapy. I understand why it made you feel the way you did. I also agree with kori kiwi that the goal of making you securely attached to a therapist is unrealistic. IMO, it is a reflection of the therapist's cluelessness about how these things work in real life. That said, I think, it's always a good idea to tell a therapist how their statements or actions make you feel and see what happens. If they "get" it, you can give them a chance to do a better job. If they don't "get" it, continuing to see them is a waste of time IMO.