Ex t wants to meet for coffee

Whatever!

Very mature!

I understand. I am really sorry this emotional pull is so strong for you.

I had been having coffee meetings with my last therapists for a long time after my therapy ended. Ended up getting traumatized..but, to be honest, the trauma happened before, while I was still in therapy..Socializing with him later just made it deeper and more severe. So, I know from experience, my own and many other people's who told me their stories, that this **** doesn't usually end up well..So, I am just concerned about you.

I am not familiar with the details of your therapy, but from other comments I understand that this therapist didn't behave decently with you on some occasions before. In any case, the fact that a T would want to initiate socializing with a former client should make you question their emotional health. She's obviously got her own problems not sorted out and hanging out with someone like that is to get yourself into a mess IMO.

I know that emotions, when they are strong, usually overpower rational reasoning, so if you decide to meet with her, then it is what it is. This is your life and your choice to make. Sometimes, we need to go through some tough experiences to learn something, and so, if this is what you need then this is what you need.

rule is two years no contact. so shes in the clear ethically if she wants to meet with you but its your choice

Thank you telling me a little about your experiences with meeting your therapist outside of session.
I want to meet with her but I know it’s wrong.

I am in a vulnerable place after everything that happened with ex t and if I am honest about it- I don’t think it is the best thing for my own mental health. Like you said you were retraumatised, I will probably be too!
I am sorry you experienced that and had to learn the hard way so I do see that you are trying to get me to see that this might not be the best idea right now anyway.

It’s very creepy to think she waited two years to contact me. Seems like she was slowly
waiting around counting down the months!

depends on how much you like your ex T. if bad relationship exists i would decline. i have been romantic with my T five times to avoid a bad report to my probation officer due to being intoxicated for visits to T.

i beg forgiveness and he offered me a deal if i was lovable when he was frisky and wear more revealing attire to our sessions

Unfortunately there are no strict rules, only 'guidance' but waiting two years looks a bit better than a week if a complaint were ever to be made. My first T also waited (almost) two years.

I just looked back over the thread I wrote when this happened to me and I too was very conflicted. My process was a lot like yours actually. What happened to me later was that the confusion turned to anger then to hurt. I still have confusing feelings about him, and I believe his invitation to friendship has prolonged and exacerbated them. It was wrong and abusive for him to do that just because he was lonely and sad. If that's the journey of feelings I have been on without meeting him, I feel that meeting him would have been disastrous for me.

Well that is shockingly abusive. Please leave him immediately and if you can, report. The problems a bad report can do are nothing compared with the damage this abusive behaviour will do for you long term.

I am still not sure what to do, one minute I really want and next I just can’t bear the thoughts of it.
I haven’t said yes yet but I haven’t said no either, it’s just so confusing!