[sctak]

Does anyone have opinions regarding the intensity of attachment in online therapy vs in person?

I can't tell if I have extremely strong attachment/transference with this T because of the nature of online therapy (we talk almost daily) or because it's a normal part of therapy.

I've never felt this way toward a face to face T, however I've also never been in therapy with one T for this long.

Part 2 of this is that T is telling me I need to "accept and allow" those feelings, but I personally feel like I need to separate "normal therapy feelings" vs "not-normal boundary crossing feelings."

[seeker33]

Hi, I'm quite attached to my online T as well. We have live chatting sessions 2x a week and message in between.
I have to say I've developed a secure attachment to her. In the first months it was quite intense. I was thinking about her how she lives her family... Now I don't wonder about that as much but I feel fully connected to her and I think it might be even stronger than I would allow myself in real life. There's something about almost daily contact that makes the relationship very real and tangible.

[PurpleBlur]

Originally Posted by sctak

Does anyone have opinions regarding the intensity of attachment in online therapy vs in person?

I can't tell if I have extremely strong attachment/transference with this T because of the nature of online therapy (we talk almost daily) or because it's a normal part of therapy.

I've never felt this way toward a face to face T, however I've also never been in therapy with one T for this long.

Part 2 of this is that T is telling me I need to "accept and allow" those feelings, but I personally feel like I need to separate "normal therapy feelings" vs "not-normal boundary crossing feelings."

daily contact fosters familiarity. I dont think its the same as face to face, but its still real. ive built very lovely online friendships...so yea you can get attached

[Dannii91]

Yes it definitely can!! I have parental transference towards my current online therapist (on 7 cups of tea). I think about her quite often and am very curious about her life. As a possible Pure O OCD sufferer I sometimes get scared that my feelings for my T will replace the feelings I have for another person I truly love.

I know I need to see someone else as my current T is no OCD/anxiety specialist. But the thought of leaving her sort of breaks my heart as I am attached to her and more or less see her as a mentor type figure. I am worried that because I had quite a good experience relating to my T that this will cause me to fall in love with another therapist because I might idealize them. I sometimes have this fear that I will prefer therapists over non therapists as they do not judge you like others do. It is very scary!!

[seeker33]

Originally Posted by Dannii91

Yes it definitely can!! I have parental transference towards my current online therapist (on 7 cups of tea). I think about her quite often and am very curious about her life. As a possible Pure O OCD sufferer I sometimes get scared that my feelings for my T will replace the feelings I have for another person I truly love.

I know I need to see someone else as my current T is no OCD/anxiety specialist. But the thought of leaving her sort of breaks my heart as I am attached to her and more or less see her as a mentor type figure. I am worried that because I had quite a good experience relating to my T that this will cause me to fall in love with another therapist because I might idealize them. I sometimes have this fear that I will prefer therapists over non therapists as they do not judge you like others do. It is very scary!!

I can relate 100% to what are you saying. I have a maternal transference for my T on 7 cups as well.

[Dannii91]

Originally Posted by seeker33

I can relate 100% to what are you saying. I have a maternal transference for my T on 7 cups as well.

I wonder if they are witches that like to cast these spells on us! XDD Good witches that is!

[sctak]

Thanks for the responses! I'm really relieved to hear that it seems like my attachment/transference issues are still normal, even with online therapy.

Out of curiosity how often and how much do you guys message? I usually hear from my T 2x per day 5 days a week and I rarely miss a message so I feel guilty sometimes, like I'm too needy or writing too much.

[seeker33]

I think it's quite normal, especially if you're a sensitive person.

We have a live chat 2x a week and I can message anytime in between. Usually it's reports about my homework, sending her my "art" (it's not really art, but I do very simple drawings), or just to tell her about progress in some area... Sometimes I don't message but well, on average I think I do message several times a week apart from our live chat sessions.
In over a year together, I messaged once on Sunday when I was in crisis. Otherwise I try to respect weekends, holidays and her vacation. When I do message I write in word first and I try to make the message as shorter before posting. It's usually several lines - half a page. I never allow myself to send more than one page.

[Dannii91]

I message my T every week as well, usually only once, however sometimes me messages me twice. Rarely is there ever a live chat session. I usually always message, however she doesn't always reply on time. Though once she did reply on Sunday because she was in the process of moving half way across the country and had to miss a lot of days! LOL! I don't usually tend to write a lot, but when I do it's when I am very emotional or when there is something significant. I try my best not to write too much when this happens, but oh well!!

[sctak]

Originally Posted by Dannii91

I message my T every week as well, usually only once, however sometimes me messages me twice. Rarely is there ever a live chat session. I usually always message, however she doesn't always reply on time. Though once she did reply on Sunday because she was in the process of moving half way across the country and had to miss a lot of days! LOL! I don't usually tend to write a lot, but when I do it's when I am very emotional or when there is something significant. I try my best not to write too much when this happens, but oh well!!

I'm not sure I could stand just once a week with online! Just because it seems like it takes a whole week of back and forth to cover something which would take 15 minutes in person. Maybe you're more articulate than I am though!

[Dannii91]

Originally Posted by sctak

I'm not sure I could stand just once a week with online! Just because it seems like it takes a whole week of back and forth to cover something which would take 15 minutes in person. Maybe you're more articulate than I am though!

Sorry, should have worded it better. We actually message eachother from Mondays to Fridays at least once or twice per day! Nooooo, not a whole week!!!