What do you think?

This isn't about therapy, but I know the psychotherapy posters here best, and you are all so helpful, so I thought I'd ask you all about something that happened to me. I'm very embarrassed by it, but I want to understand what happened and see if you think I am going crazy or something.

Sunday night about 10 pm, I started getting some chest pains. Not bad, coming and going, annoying. I ignored them. About midnight I went to bed. The chest pains were more frequent and getting really painful. In bed, I could not get comfortable, the pain was really intense and constant, on the left side of my chest. I was even moaning in pain, and I am very good about handling pain, have a high tolerance (I had 2 babies, no meds, I'm strong as an ox). After about an hour I got up. I had never had chest pains like this before and began thinking I might be having a heart attack. I looked for heart attack symptoms on the Internet; I couldn't even type with my left hand, because it hurt too much to raise my left arm. I was all alone. The Internet information made me think I might very well be having a heart attack. I was getting scared. I called my husband (we are separated) and asked him to come get me to take me to the hospital. While waiting for him, I tried to get ready to go. I couldn't even bend over to put my socks on, I was in too much pain. I was very agitated, and walked repeatedly from one end of the house to the other. The pain was excruciating. If I stood still, if felt worse, so I kept moving.

I began thinking I could not even make it to the hospital with my husband. When he arrived, I told him to call 911, and the fire station guys came immediately. They made me sit still, gave me oxygen, and hooked me up to the EKG machine. My blood pressure was through the roof (like 190 over 120). They decided that my heart was fine and that it must be something else. They didn't know what. Maybe musculo-skeletal. They could tell it hurt a lot, I couldn't do basic things like raise my arm or give myself a hug. They wanted me to go to the ER to have it checked out. So husband took me to the ER. By the time I got there, I was feeling somewhat better. They did tests at the ER and again said my heart was fine, and maybe I had pulled a muscle or something or it was something to do with my lung, but they didn't really test for these things. I was not hurting much anymore at all. I went home. I was fine the next day, although very sore on the left side of my body (under my breast and above and below). I am still sore, but see no bruises or evidence of injury. I did nothing strenuous on Sunday to pull a muscle. And this hurt way more than a pulled muscle!

What happened to me? I feel so stupid I had this "fake" heart attack. I was really in pain! It seems like I faked this or something. There was absolutely nothing wrong with me. I feel so dumb. Am I going crazy? Manufacturing in my head feelings of severe physical pain? I am such a strong person, how could I make up all this pain? I am sure the fire station crew and ER people think I am some hysterical woman making it all up. I really appreciate your thoughts.

I'm so glad you are okay.

I have a lot of back problems including some pinched nerves, and probably around 78923234789 knots at any given time, particularly in my upper back and shoulders. The more stressed out or depressed I get, the tighter the knots. They will occasionally spasm so that if I move a certain way or take a deep breath I get sharp pain in my chest. Sometimes this lasts only up to a minute or two-- there have been two instances in which it has lasted for a couple of hours before it went away. These times are never accompanied by an injury-- it's just my back spazzing out.

There was also one time in which my back muscles got so tight that it popped a rib out of place. This was VERY painful when moving or breathing. My chiropractor popped it back in and it went away after that.

No, you did not have a heart attack... but put things in perspective-- it wasn't a "fake" heart attack-- it was something else that was very real. You didn't make anythin up. Pain means that something is wrong. Whether it is a muscle, a rib, a panic attack, or whatever-- something wasn't right in your body. So rather than labeling it as a "fake" heart attack and making yourself feel bad, come to terms with the fact that you called the ambulance for a very real thing. Just because they can't find out what it is exactly, or give it a name, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Isn't that often the case with mental illness? Just because we can't see or label things right away doesn't mean they are not there.

I hope you are feeling better today.

Sunrise,
I hope you are feeling better. I went through that and ended up having my gall bladder taken out. I know it is scary!!
It sounds like you feel okay now, good! If you feel you need to go back to the doctor to quell your fears then do so. I am so glad that you are doing okay. Take care of Yourself.

I thought of really bad indigestion and following Soliaree's post where it was her gall bladder, it could have been something like that. I know I get really uncomfortable and achey and now know to take a Pepcid Complete and that helps (and often this happens when I haven't eaten or done anything).

I had problems with my arm/shoulder all summer and it took 3 months to get that to go away; you could have had some sort of nerve "twist" or something that straightened itself out.

You didn't imagine it or have a heart attack so I would just chalk it up to "one of those things". I use to get weird things like that (once got a fever of 104 out of the blue when I was about 26-27, with no other symptoms (besides the tiredness/weariness that would naturally go with such a fever), no aches or pains, no headache even, and it was gone within a few hours.

sunrise, I've ended up in the ER for heart attacks that weren't really heart attacks so you're not alone. In my case, I had an irregular heart beat and there was lots of follow up involved. The end result? Caffeine, nicotine and STRESS. I was ruining my body (still am, actually, since I still do and have all those things).

My point is, people with mental illnesses often get odd physical symptoms as well. Like pink, I have zillions of knots at any given moment, muscle spasms, and weird pains.

I'd talk to your therapist, your pdoc, and possibly even your family doctor.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Cyran0

Thank you, everyone. I am feeling better, 3 days later, but my left side is still tender, like someone kicked me a bunch of times.

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I would just chalk it up to "one of those things".

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I think that is very good advice, Perna. Thank you.

It sounds like there are lots of reasons I could have been in such pain and it helps me to read that some of you have had somewhat mysterious painful episodes too. (Perna, they thought maybe indigestion, but the only thing I had to eat all night was cauliflower, and I am not prone to indigestion, and it was not a burning pain, so they didn't think this was likely.)

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My point is, people with mental illnesses often get odd physical symptoms as well.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Oh, great, that's what I was afraid of. I'm not mentally ill, but I was thinking maybe this imaginary heart attack meant I was starting to lose it. I think I'll try to hold onto the "it was just one of those things" idea instead, at least for a while.... Until the next inexplicable occurrence.

I definitely will not tell my therapist about this--too embarrassed. But my family doc will be notified by the ER. (I feel like they're telling on me.)

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I'm glad you're feeling better.

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Sunny, I'm so glad you're okay. I hope you will follow up with your doctor. It was real, not fake anything, it just wasn't what you thought it might be.

Even the strongest of people get sick.

Something is going on, we don't hurt like that for no reason. Something needs attention, they just haven't found what that is yet.

hiya

Ive had fairly similar, though i dont think as bad, for two kdifferent reasons

1) damaged tissue round my ribs on left side. i fell down stairs when i was 15 and ended up with scar tissue (on hte inside) round my lungs. now whenever i get a cough it will start really really hurting round my chest and referring pain down arm

2) mastalgia. basically its breast pain. people can have cyclical where its more on outer part of breast and due to period cycle. theres also pain unrelated to period which tends to be more under the breast and goes into upper arm. i have had this once and it was excruciating possibly caused by not wearing bra for a few days, can also be due to infection or muscle damage for instance you may have just banged into side of door as you went through, it wouldnt have to be that hard and you might just have forgotten.

anyway, those are my expereinces that might be relevant. the breast thing isnt dangerous, just painful

our bodies are such intricate thigns arent they

from what you say about your side i think pink might have it... a rib out. i've done it too and hot damn it hurts. A lot of other things wouldn't have left you so sore.

i am glad you're ok

Sunrise,
I'm glad you're feeling better too. My gosh, what a scare!

Two things come to mind. Certainly something musculoskeletal, or the intercostal lining. The 2nd thing is that if your elevated BP was not due to pain, then be sure to follow up on that. It was way too high!!
Take care,
Okie

Sunny,

I'm just catching up on posts and hope you are feeling better.

I agree that something was definitely wrong, and that it wasn't a fake anything. It was something. I'm so glad it wasn't a heart attack.

Why couldn't you tell this to T? I bet he would be happy it wasn't a heart attack too!

I hope you go for a checkup on this. Hey, didn't you say recently you were on birth control pills for something else? I wonder if they could have something to do with the pain you experienced. Anyway, just a thought.

Wishing you peace and health.

sunny, Just wanted to add my 2cents. What happened to you was NOT FAKE. Even if it were initially caused by something emotional, our physical & emotional parts are all connected to 1 system. Meaning, when you have something emotional happening your physical body reacts in all kinds of ways. Hormone levels change, blood pressure, brain chemicals etc. etc. It's all one system.

I too wonder why you would not want to share this experience with your t. I think it would benefit both of you to discuss what happened and how it made you feel.

I'm really glad it wasn't a heart attack. But, please don't label it "fake" It was NOT "fake"

tulips

Hey, thanks everyone, for continued concern and support.

I am still very sore on my left side from the incident, so I guess you are all right, something did indeed happen. I just don't know what. Maybe some bruised ribs and some spasms or something. The pain was really intense. My BP had dropped by the time I got to the ER, so I think it was just very high initially because I was agitated and scared about my heart.

I will not tell my therapist about this incident because I would feel too embarrassed. Plus, we have such important work to do in therapy right now, and I only get 1 hour a week with him, and I can't devote my time to stuff like this (in therapy I need to accomplish certain things in a timely way in order to sync up with the legal timetable--pressure!). Partly because I won't be bringing this up in therapy is why I asked all of your help in sorting this out! And I have gotten some great insights here and support. Thank you!

...and yet *not bringing* this to therapy would be interesting to explore too.

I'm glad you're ok

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ECHOES said:
...and yet *not bringing* this to therapy would be interesting to explore too.

I'm glad you're ok

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Thank you, ECHOES!

If I had 3 sessions a week with T, I could bring all sorts of stuff to therapy! Don't we all wish. I am exploring this issue, though, just not with T.

Your blood pressure being high tells me that this was not a fake anything and something does need follow up.

That was very high Sunny...you are going through a lot right now and stress is high. Your body feels that stress too. I certainly hope there will be follow up testing. You are not mentally ill or crazy either...something did happen to you. Please take care