[skysblue]

One of the things that I appreciate about my regular T is that I can email or text her when I feel the need. We've always had the agreement that she doesn't need to reply unless I request a reply. Normally I don't make that request but sometimes she replies anyway.

It's always been a way for me to release some emotions by expressing them to T by email or text. She's very understanding and many times during my session we'll discuss the emotions that had been present during my emailing or texting.

I can't do that with Sub T. I can call her but I don't really want to have a conversation. I just want to 'vent' a bit.

So, I emailed my regular T even though she won't be back until October. I've been seeing her for 6 years so she's automatically my go-to person in my mind. Sub T, as great as she is, is new and I've only seen her since March.

I'm sure my regular T will understand, especially since I requested she not reply. Maybe she'll forward my email to Substitute T. idk But, sometimes a person can't wait until the next appointment.

Has anyone had this experience before?

[growlycat]

Did substitute t ever say she explicitly doesn’t answer email?
Will she let you email but read them at the beginning of your session? I don’t think I could see a t so rigid. I’m glad it wasn’t s temporary for you. October is coming soon! Maybe write your regular t a welcome back letter?

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Did substitute t ever say she explicitly doesn’t answer email?
Will she let you email but read them at the beginning of your session? I don’t think I could see a t so rigid. I’m glad it wasn’t s temporary for you. October is coming soon! Maybe write your regular t a welcome back letter?

I did ask sub T last session if she would let me communicate by email. That was after I had read her the email I sent to my regular T (in which I asked her not to reply and she didn't. Thankfully, because I would have felt guilty.)

Sub T said that emails don't provide the level of confidentiality that is required for therapy. She said I could sign a waiver and then it would be o.k. She also stated that texts offer a bit more protection in confidentiality.

She suggested I write her and mail the letter or read it in session. So I wrote a few pages and delivered it to her office. She comes to office only 2 days per week and I didn't want to wait for her to have received it a week later. (yeah, we get used to the immediacy of email.)

An interesting thing transpired by writing and printing my message. I felt more freedom to 'talk' a lot. And, for some reason, it didn't feel as intrusive to T as an email or text would.

AND, the writing helped me process some emotions.

So, maybe I'll write, print, and hand-deliver (either before session or read during session) in the future.

Has anybody else had such an experience?

[LabRat27]

My T doesn't do texting or emailing about anything other than scheduling appointments. There's been a little bit of flexibility there where he's asked me how I'm doing when scheduling appointment stuff when I was having a particularly hard time but I don't like that because I don't know how to respond or what the boundaries are. If I felt like I could text him when I was struggling then I'd constantly wrestle with that decision, but since it's not an option I don't have to decide. (He has said to contact him if things are bad and I need to get in to see him before my next scheduled appointment)

I have written letters though. Quite a few that I never planned to let him read and were just cathartic, and a few that I had him read at the beginning of sessions because it was stuff I needed to talk about but couldn't bring myself to actually say out loud. That's been really helpful.

[zoiecat]

When I find myself really troubled by something that I feel I can't talk about in session or when I really want to get all of my thoughts out on something I always write a letter to my T. If it involves him and I feel it will catch him off guard I will email it to him a day ahead of time with a warning of why I am sending it early. If not (which is usually the case) I will hand it to him at the beginning of session. He will read it and duscuss everything with me making a point of answering any questions I have put in the letter. Those are usually my best sessions because I know he is hearing my entire issue and I hardly have to say a thing that day. I feel extremely understood and learn a lot from his responses. T also says he appreciates when I write these letters.

Enjoy the boundary of no email. It's clean and it's clear. Email in therapy can be a horror.