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Ididitmyway
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Default Sep 28, 2018 at 08:14 PM
  #21
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader View Post
IDIMW, I think you may have misunderstood. The T wasn't suggesting that they re-enact the interaction exactly as it was. He was suggesting that she swaps roles and becomes the person in control of the situation. I think it was intended to be more like the example you talk about - an exercise in empowerment.

I still think it's a weird and bad idea, but I can see what the T is trying to do.
I see. I read the OP again and I see that I did misunderstand it. But, as you said, it is still a bad idea and the one that is not employed by any psychotherapy approach. If this is meant as a self-empowering exercise, it's silly to think that this would empower anyone. This exercises simply switches the roles of a victim and a perpetrator. Switching the roles by symbolically "becoming a perpetrator" is not empowering, as a perpetrator has a strong need of controlling the other person, because controlling the other is the only thing that gives him an illusion of being "powerful". The real empowerment is not when we exert control over other people, but when we feel in control of our own life.

This therapist, as all therapists, should know about the vicious cycle of switching roles between victim, perpetrator and rescuer. It's a well-known psychological theory of a victim-abuser-rescuer triangle that says that abuse victims often unconsciously try to ease their pain and to compensate for their sense of powerlessness by becoming either perpetrators or rescuers of other victims or both (most likely). By becoming perpetrators they try to symbolically take their power back in a destructive way by exerting control over the other person, and by becoming a rescuer of other victims (which often takes a form of activism or advocacy) they transcend their pain (or think that they transcend it) by becoming a powerful hero who saves lives of others (again symbolically). In most cases, a person switches between those three roles all the time. Victims can become abusive in their relationships with others as well as "rescuers" and then get victimized again.. and the mary goes round..

The idea is to get out of this vicious cycle completely and be nether a victim or a perpetrator or a rescuer, not to switch roles. Healing can start only when the person is no longer on that carousel. As long as they switch roles, nothing will change.

...

(Besides the physical touch that this exercise would involve is inappropriate in a professional relationship and especially when working with a victim of sexual abuse regardless of what the exercise is intended to do.)

So, I am still baffled how such idea can come to a trained professional..

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