Couch 180:

SlumberKitty · Oct 04, 2018, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I can relate to the perfectionist thing. And thinking something bad will happen if I don't do everything perfectly. I've really had to work on that.

One good thing about the owner of my business where I work, he says, "Everybody is allowed to make mistakes." Even when I accidentally sent some refractory to the wrong address and we never got it and still had to pay for it. EEK.

One thing that made it better was that I told him I have very little purchasing experience and he wanted me to "help out" (read as do the whole job) in purchasing for a while so we wouldn't have to hire a purchasing manager. So it's been good to make mistakes (well that part has been bad) and not be in trouble for them. Of course, the point is to learn from them, check the dang PO's Kit before you send them out!!!! Not a mistake I think I'll be making again.

WarmFuzzySocks · Oct 04, 2018, 06:02 PM

There's some interesting education research about learning and mistakes. We often learn more from our mistakes than we would have if we'd gotten it right in the first place.

Not that I would know. Heh.

SlumberKitty · Oct 04, 2018, 06:07 PM

Eating Oreo's on a Thursday afternoon, finishing up my workday. Not bad. One thing that would make this better is if they were double stuffed!

SlumberKitty · Oct 04, 2018, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Eating Oreo's on a Thursday afternoon, finishing up my workday. Not bad. One thing that would make this better is if they were double stuffed!

And if I had some Starbucks right now.

SlumberKitty · Oct 04, 2018, 06:18 PM

Sorry guys, I'm suddenly talkative and there's no one in the office...I'm just glad that it's finally (barely) cool enough here to wear a sweatshirt. My office is ridiculously casual.

atisketatasket · Oct 04, 2018, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Eating Oreo's on a Thursday afternoon, finishing up my workday. Not bad. One thing that would make this better is if they were double stuffed!

Or strangely flavored.

Unless you are an Oreo purist?

Oct 04, 2018, 06:33 PM

I’m getting a new roof put on my house and my neighbors are complaining about the mess outside. Like, HELLO PEOPLE-it’s a new roof. The mess will be cleaned when the job is done. Sometimes people have nothing better to do than complain their miserable life away.

SlumberKitty · Oct 04, 2018, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Or strangely flavored.

Unless you are an Oreo purist?

Yep. I'm an oreo purist. Regular or double stuffed only. Lol

SheHulk07 · Oct 04, 2018, 06:50 PM

I'm anxiously awaiting tomorrow night. Going to a show with a friend. Even went out today and bought a shirt to wear...just need some boots to wear too. Ready to have fun for a few hours without kids but not looking forward to my H being a jealous a hole.

Oct 04, 2018, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StressedMess

I'm a serial apologist and perfectionist, too. It's a remnant of my childhood, for some reason I think I'm not allowed to make mistakes or do the "wrong thing," or something horrible will happen. I have a hard time figuring out what that thing would be. Maybe the sky will fall.

Right. That's me too.

Oct 04, 2018, 06:53 PM

T in 7 minutes.

SlumberKitty · Oct 04, 2018, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

T in 7 minutes.

I hope it goes well.

Oct 04, 2018, 08:18 PM

Thanks slumberkitty.

LonesomeTonight · Oct 04, 2018, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StressedMess

I'm a serial apologist and perfectionist, too. It's a remnant of my childhood, for some reason I think I'm not allowed to make mistakes or do the "wrong thing," or something horrible will happen. I have a hard time figuring out what that thing would be. Maybe the sky will fall.

Same here...

Oct 04, 2018, 09:16 PM

Very good, very deep session. Therapy hangover already in force. Going to bed early. Night couchies.

Oct 04, 2018, 09:42 PM

Update on my car. They were going to look at next week but it seems like a warranty job gets preference and they rang yesterday to tell me it starts and runs well then i explained what happened that it lost power after 20 minutes and at high speed. They are looking into it a bit more. Hopefully someone will call and tell me whether its covered by warranty or not. I need it for school next week. I did wake up in a nit of a panic again.
I also sat in the jeep just in case i have no optionbut to ring my ex and get permission. I couldnt even work out how to move the seat forward. Everything has little dials and buttons i feel like i need a jet pilots licence just to find the ignotion switch.

Oct 04, 2018, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StressedMess

I'm a serial apologist and perfectionist, too. It's a remnant of my childhood, for some reason I think I'm not allowed to make mistakes or do the "wrong thing," or something horrible will happen. I have a hard time figuring out what that thing would be. Maybe the sky will fall.

Ni am too. Used to make my ex sooo angry. He always thought i was guilty of something and generally convinced me i was tooo

DP_2017 · Oct 04, 2018, 09:55 PM

I was such an apologizer too... my T noticed it first session. After lots of reassurance and testing him, I got to a point where I don't anymore... he pointed it out a few months ago that he noticed I no longer apologize, in fact he said I'd started being assertive and what was great to hear.

I don't really do it with others much anymore either. We have talked a lot about this issue and I just keep reminding myself, I don't have to apologize for being me or having my own thoughts. People are welcome not to like me or my thoughts but it's not a reason to apologize.

I hope long after therapy, I can keep this up. I think I've annoyed so many people over the years because of this issue, I'm grateful my T really helped me with this

Oct 04, 2018, 10:33 PM

Ok i need a new transmission it will cost around $2500 which i dont have, but instead of panicking and lying down and avoiding the issue i asked the mechanic if they had a payment plan but he said that they have openpay, i have also rung the community loan people and am waiting on their call, i will get the warranty to pay their $300 so thats lees for me to find.
I am only feeling slightly apprehensive but once i would have just ignored this til i couldnt anymore. Now i feel i have right to ask for help. How stupid feeling that people on the end of the phone are judging you for being a bad person. I will probably cry later but at least i didnt throw my arms up in defeat and want someone to rescue me. I can rescue myself.

CantExplain · 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

thanks!! and i don't think so, going back to look now.

eta after looking: that's what i didn't understand how to do - solve for sigma and mu - for any formulas that we've learned so far, i didn't have enough information with x1, x2, z1 and z2. but thanks anyways!

It's a system of simultaneous equations.

1. X1 = z1 * sigma + mu
2. X2 = z2 * sigma + mu

Subtract equation 2 from equation 1:
3. X1 - X2 = (z1 * sigma + mu) - (z2 * sigma + mu) = (z1 - z2) * sigma

Divide both sides by (z1 - z2):
4. (X1 - X2) / (z1 - z2) = sigma

Etc.

88Butterfly88 · Oct 05, 2018, 06:46 AM

Speaking of apologizing art t was joking yesterday that if she charged me $0.25 for every time I said sorry she'd be able to get lots of stuff from the vending machine. I told her my girlfriend also calls me miss sorry so I guess I do it with everyone.

unaluna · Oct 05, 2018, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

...
I also sat in the jeep just in case i have no optionbut to ring my ex and get permission. I couldnt even work out how to move the seat forward. Everything has little dials and buttons i feel like i need a jet pilots licence just to find the ignotion switch.

I feel like that a lot when i rent a zipcar. Its such a helpless feeling! You feel like Fred Flintstone. All you can do is read the users manual - its usually still in the glovebox, brand new, no one has touched it!

Re CE - W. T. H??? You only made it worse!!

i am not a natural mathematician.

Oct 05, 2018, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I feel like that a lot when i rent a zipcar. Its such a helpless feeling! You feel like Fred Flintstone. All you can do is read the users manual - its usually still in the glovebox, brand new, no one has touched it!

Re CE - W. T. H??? You only made it worse!!

i am not a natural mathematician.

No, he didn't actually lol. in my problem x1=57 and x2=87, z1= -0.25 and z2 = 1.25. it doesn't work that way because of the negatives, but, it does work if you make x1 and z1 the higher numbers. i'll have to remember this.

thanks CE!

Oct 05, 2018, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

It's a system of simultaneous equations.

1. X1 = z1 * sigma + mu
2. X2 = z2 * sigma + mu

Subtract equation 2 from equation 1:
3. X1 - X2 = (z1 * sigma + mu) - (z2 * sigma + mu) = (z1 - z2) * sigma

Divide both sides by (z1 - z2):
4. (X1 - X2) / (z1 - z2) = sigma

Etc.

thanks for this.

something funny - we had a team meeting yesterday at work and I was so excited at having figured out the problem wednesday night that i told my team i figured it out and asked if they wanted to hear the solution. I was all ready to spout it from memory but they veto'd me. haha!!

DP_2017 · Oct 05, 2018, 08:36 AM

Morning all

I've been going through my stuff like crazy with my recent move and I came across and old journal from 2001, which would make me 19. I was reading through it and nearly every post was "Please help me" and it was like "to god" --at the time I was super religious. I wrote about how much I hated my family and want to die and there is even a list of "People who have ditched me" and it's 2 pages of names.

I was just wondering, is this the sort of thing you would share with T? I have blocked out most of my past and honestly without stuff like this to read, I don't recall much. However, I am unsure of how much this sort of thing would help therapy at all and how much of it should I share? Any thoughts?

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