New T, should I ask if he want to work with me?

Ok, so I just started to see a new T. He has a private practise and I pay by myself, no public health care or insurance or whatever.

When I came there the first time he had no idea of who i am or what my problems are, but for two sessions we talked about my life and what my biggest issues are.

But realizing now that is not his main focus/expertise as a T. And I dont know how it works with a T in private practise.

I want to see him again, to start building a more long term relationship but can I just assume I am "allowed" to do that or should I ask him if he WANTS to work with me and if he thinks he can help me? How should i bring this up in our next session?

I'd be grateful for any type of input. And sorry for my horrible English.

Personally, I’d ask him. His answer might be illuminating and might help me decide how to proceed.

I would ask him. If your issues are not an area he specializes in, he may be more comfortable referring you to someone who is more competent in that area.

I remember I "checked out" a new therapist many years ago. We had one session and he determined he was not the right fit for me and let me know right way. It saved me investing time and money into something that wasn't going to work out any. It's in your best interests to have a T who is experienced and skilled in working with your specific issues.

I just wanted to say that your English is great! And I should know. I teach English as a Second Language.

I would ask him. I think it's important to know that the T thinks they can help you. If not, then its not worth the time and effort and ethically they should refer you out if they don't think they can help. Kit.

I'd ask. Never be afraid to ask. I've asked my new pcp if she wants to work with me after our first appointment. T said to me that it would be a mutual agreement to work together.

Better to ask than just assume be surprised later. Totally okay!

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking, but I have two things that I think are relevant to think about. 1) Most T's do not specialize and in fact in some states they are not allowed to say they have particular expertise in x y or z. A specialization is rarely something that is certified or anything other than the T deciding to "specialize," whatever that means. 2) pay attention to how you ask the question, if you ask whether "he wants" to work with you, that's about his feelings about it, as opposed to asking "I would like to work with you long term, is that possible? If your friend was out with you having a meal, would you ask her if she wants to be eating with you? I think you can presume a T wants to work with you if s/he makes an appointment. But perhaps you are more concerned with the long term issue rather than some absolute desire?

Also, even if T does not "specialize" in x or whatever, doesn't mean the person doesn't have the experience to be helpful. I would not presume a "specialist-- which I think is more about marketing than competency" is a better therapist than someone who doesn't "specialize" in that area. Again, I think you can be more precise in your questioning of the person, asking the question you are really after. Rather than ask, "are you competent to help me?" which I don't think would result in any good answers because a T should refer you out if that's the case, so the fact that they are sitting in front of you suggests they think they can help. Instead you can ask, can you tell me a little about your experience working with clients who have X issue?

Again, asking questions is not a problem-- it's a really good thing in therapy. I just think that some questions are not set up to get terribly good answers, and asking more precise ones may get better ones, IME as a person who asks a lot of questions for a living and who has asked T a lot of questions over the years.

Why wouldn't you be "allowed" to continue to see him?

If you are unsure if he is competent enough to work with your problems just ask him. Why wouldn't it you ask him? You are paying him out of pocket, so you get to decide if you need to continue to see him or not. If he didn't want to work with you, he wouldn't have met with you two times already. It's his private practice and he's already decided that he wants to work with you if he has met with you twice. It's your call now. You need to decide if he is the right therapist for you.

As others have said, I'd focus on asking whether he feels he can help you with your issues, as opposed to does he *want* to work with you. I understand the desire to want to know if he wants to work with you. I've certainly worried about that and asked my T that. But my T will tend to say something like "It's my job" and say it's more about whether *I* want to work with *him.*