[justbreathe1994]

I’ve come to realize that my new therapist (who I’ve seen for about a month) talks quite a lot. She will go off on a tangent and start lecturing on psych-ed. She will use like 3 or 4 metaphors to relay the same point. Most of the time, these lectures can last fpr 10-15 minutes and then she’ll ask me a question, which I’ll answer, and then she’ll go off again. She probably talks for 75%-80% of the time. For this reason, I don’t feel like I’m getting much out of our sessions and I don’t feel like it’s really going anywhere because I’m not opening up. I feel like everything she says I can find in a textbook. She is very warm though and I feel comfortable other than her talking so much. I really would rather not find a new therapist as I’ve been having such a hard time finding someone I feel comfortable. I want her to talk some, but I also need someone who is willing to be patient and encourage me to open up more. I just don’t know how to tell this to my therapist because I’m afraid it’s just her personality, not necessarily a therapy technique or something

[LonesomeTonight]

Wow, 10-15 minutes is a long time. I'd try saying something to her about it. My T can be quite talkative as well, but he's told me to just tell him to shut up if he's talking too much or going off in a direction other than where I want to go. At first, I had trouble doing this, but now that I've been seeing him over a year, I will let him know, either verbally or by body language, that he's going on too long or going down a path that I don't want to go down. He often catches himself now, too (though maybe it's reading my body language?)


It could be your T doesn't realize she's going on so long, or maybe she has some clients who prefer she does all the talking? So awkward though it may be, I'd try bringing it up.

[SlumberKitty]

Sometimes it just has to come out and be said. Like, "I prefer to spend a little more time doing the talking and I need some encouragement in opening up." Or something like that. It's your time. It's your money.

I told my T that I don't find theory helpful. I was worried that she might not have any other way of responding to me, but miraculously she has stopped spouting theory and we just talk, seems much better to me. Hope you can work it out with her.

[RaineD]

I would just start looking at my phone when she starts lecturing. But I'm rude like that. And passive aggressive.

[piggy momma]

I would say something. Sometimes I can be snotty and be like "is it my turn now?" but other times I've just been rude and interrupted my T in the middle of his sentence so I can talk lol.

If you're otherwise comfortable with her, speak up. As has been said, she might just be used to clients who don't want to do a lot of talking, and rely on her to do it.

[weaverbeaver]

Yikes, I don’t think I would like my t to talk that much either.
My t does talk quite a lot but it’s usually a two way conversation.
I wonder do you feel heard at all?

Does she ever do reviews or check in with you?
This could be a way of telling her.
It’s not your job to look after the t. If she happens to get hurt it’s a great opportunity for growth and learning professionally.

Maybe draw her a, picture of a mega phone.

***shrugs shoulders ***

[stopdog]

I found saying "stop talking" useful

[ArtleyWilkins]

There were a few times my therapist would get on a roll like that. I just told him to stop. I wasn't worried about hurting his feelings. As soon as I brought it to his attention, he'd admit I was right, apologize, and we'd move on. You should be able to do that with a therapist. If you can't, it's probably an indication that a different therapist might be a plan.