Wanting to leave therapy but I can’t

DP_2017 · Nov 17, 2018, 12:33 PM

^ Yes I know but do they care when clients go? No. They are used to it, it happens. They move on, as you said, it is like everything we had was meaningless. I don't want to be a memory that pops by for a second or two maybe once in 5 years. Blah.

Anyway, that's why I'm gonna ghost him. I don't wanna deal with the "Well,that's fine, your choice" crap. He might as well flip me off.

piggy momma · Nov 17, 2018, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waterloo12345

I read that reply as him deliberately not playing into what you want or are asking for a dysfunctional way. For me it's understandable in a therapeutic framework and doesn't mean he didn't care.

I see it that way now. But I definitely didn’t at the time.

Waterloo12345 · Nov 17, 2018, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DP_2017

I know he cares, FOR NOW.... but my point was that generally therapists don't care when clients leave, it's the clients choice and they find new people for their slots. It's not like he would care really if I leave, it wont effect him, he would probably have my slot filled within a week. That's what I mean, I am very well aware of the harsh crap reality of this relationship

Also, no way I'd ever share with him any of my forum posts, if I could, I'd delete them all. If I want him to know something, I tell him but he really doesn't need to know everything.

Yes, in regards to my post here, he USED TO reply when he didn't for others, but that is no longer a thing, I'm not allowed to email. so that has changed

Sorry was on a train and It suddenly was my stop.

I dunno, I like to believe that while mine would defo fill my slot quick- she's a great t - she would still care that I stopped, made the wrong decion at this stage to stop, but respect my autonomy. From her strong encouragement to come to missed sessions I think she would try to stop me just leaving (unplanned) but in gentle way and then if I persisted so he it.

Perhaps the difference is that, when I do plan to leave her, it'll be because I'm ready too and so it won't be a prob like growing out of the care of school and being ready to flex your wings at university. I may be living in cloud cookoo land and also recognise that things may end different but...

Nov 17, 2018, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

We have a strange relationship. I can’t blame it all on her. I fight with her a lot sometimes she retaliates.

This sentence stood out to me; particularly the "sometimes she retaliates" part. Are you sure you are getting good therapy from your T?

Up to you, of course, but if I felt like my T was "retaliating" after a disagreement, I'd have to take a long, honest look at the relationship. Maybe that's what your discomfort and ambivalence is all about?

Just my two cents worth.

weaverbeaver · Nov 17, 2018, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InTheStacks

This sentence stood out to me; particularly the "sometimes she retaliates" part. Are you sure you are getting good therapy from your T?

Up to you, of course, but if I felt like my T was "retaliating" after a disagreement, I'd have to take a long, honest look at the relationship. Maybe that's what your discomfort and ambivalence is all about?

Just my two cents worth.

Sometimes I feel like I have borderline because I idealise than hate my t, so I am idealising her at the moment.

I go quiet and then she gets angry because she thinks I am ignoring her but it’s more like I am dissociating.
I question our relationship all of the time and that’s why I want to leave but stay. It’s so confusing.

Nov 17, 2018, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

I go quiet and then she gets angry because she thinks I am ignoring her but it’s more like I am dissociating.

IMHO, a T should be able to identify dissociation and do some quick grounding exercises to bring you back. Can you ask her to help you with that?

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Wanting to leave therapy but I can’t

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