Couch 183: Stroopwafel salted caramel.

Umm Artie sorry to have to be the one to tell you but it's HER pink afghan,but she's kind enough to let you YOU borrow it.

She looks so cute and very comfy. I love pet pictures more than I should.We should have a pet thread!

Esme has a very cute puppy too. xD (HINT, HINT, HINT)

Thank you! That's so nice to hear.


Somebody here had mentioned back in July that a therapy ending should be organic. I have a better understanding of what that means now, because this one was. A mutual decision we arrived at together. Not one of us forcing it like I had tried to do in the past.

I had been using it on my chair as a lumbar support kinda thing, and she stole it that day haha!

I've been in bed since I came home at 1pm. Started call the midwife on Netflix, but stopped on episode 2. Watching the new Mowgali film and totally need to join a pack (of wolves). EDIT: I get bored easly and stopped when he has to go back to the village as the tiger wants him.

This is R's reply:

Dear S,

I hope you are well.

First of all, I'd like to apologise for any confusion you may have felt
regarding last Tuesday. I was surprised that you expected to see me, since
your previous messages indicated the opposite. I did Skype you the previous
Tuesday but since you did not answer, I took that as an indication you were
serious this time about not wanting to see me.

I regret that communications between us have broken down to such an extent that we both feel confused about exactly where we stand with each other and acknowledge my role in that. I'm sorry for not having responded to your emails as frequently as you would have liked.

I accept your needs in relation to the therapy, including any dependency
issues you may have. I understand that as your anxiety increases, Your
feeling that I am smothering you increases along with your desire to break
away from me.

The matter is complicated by a need I think you have to maintain an
appearance of togetherness, even though the material you are attempting to
work through can actually feel quite fragmented at times. There are many
different aspects to your personality but I will always view you as one
person who deserves my empathy.

In terms of moving forward, I'd like to keep working with you. I'd think we
would need to agree a written contract so we both have a reference point we
can return to if either one of us steps over a boundary. We would need to
talk about the nature of such a contract in a session.

Please let me know if you would like to see me on Tuesday.

Best regards,

R

If you get her this for Christmas the afghan can be yours again.

This is so cool, I want one:

http://www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pe...diator-cat-bed

Aaah I missed out the word bit.

It does makes sense to see it like it. It feels natural.

Probably only if they’ve read Alice in Wonderland and were curious enough to ask or look it up. That’s how I learned.

This feels like an honest response. He says he wants to keep working with you, that's good right? And he regrets that your communications have broken down & acknowledges his part in it. Do you feel like it was an honest reply? Therapy is SO hard.

Before I left t's last night I thanked her for everything. And she told me that I had done all the 'heavy lifting'. I think she was right. This work is so difficult. But for me, it has been worth all the pain, all the tears, all the absolute naked vulnerability.

I just discovered the secret love child of a slipper and a sock.

Moccis Benefits

Haha! I see you've deduced what city I live in. Please bring some. They look intriguing. You can order them on amazon apparently but there are a lot of complaints that they arrive melted.

My therapist just emailed me out of the blue saying he was in office today (he's not usually) and did I want another session. Odd but timely, because yes, I would like to continue yesterday's conversation. I feel a little strange accepting though.

Lemoncake, that feels like a really supportive reply to me. I think the idea of writing down what you expect of each other is a great idea and may help to lessen some of the anxiety it seems like you feel about the relationship. I hope you continue to work with him. It sounds like he wants to work with you.

Yup! Now that I am well versed in American travel times. I obviously know that I can get from New York to Texas in a day.

Oh but do it NP! If you buy more you'd have a greater chance that some will have survived the journey! But maybe it was also dependent if the other customers bought it in the summer.

Thanks for the pocket riders. It went OK, still processing. And his son may or may not be on the spectrum, he's not saying. But he seemed to understand why I was upset about it. He apparently just hadn't realized that I'd assumed he was and had made other assumptions based on that. Which, when I read that in the email it upset me, but when we discussed it in person, I understood better...

Canceled Monday's session (since I just saw him and need time to process) and also Thursday's since I'm going Christmas shopping with my dad. He has openings Wed. and Fri. and debating whether to take one or to try a week off?

I'm glad you're taking him up on his offer- why do you think you feel strange though?

How do you feel about him not confirming either way?

Could you go with your gut feeling for now? You could always change your mind

Thank you for replying NP.

I'm going to see him on tuesday.

Thank you for the reply. I feel like he was being honest, and he didn't blame everything on me.

I honestly hope to be more like you Artie.

I feel kinda weird about it. Honestly (and I mentioned this in session), it makes me think a bit of the ex-MC wife situation (where she was sick--which I eventually found out about--and later passed away). Which was really difficult for me. He said he doesn't want me to worry about his son, that if he gave me more info, I might be inclined to ask about him, etc., because I'm nice. And he doesn't want to take up session time for that. Of course I said I already think of him...

I just asked him to put me on schedule for Wednesday. I have a feeling I'll want to process some stuff. He just requires 24 hours notice for cancellation, so if Monday evening/Tuesday morning (since session is Wed. morning) I'm thinking I want more time, can always cancel.

Also, that seemed like a really good, caring email from your T. How are you feeling about it?

Partly because it's unusual for him to offer something like this. It feels really nice that he offered. Partly because of what we've been talking about this week. We've been discussing my tendency to hint at things with people instead of coming right out and saying what I mean or asking for what I want and what purpose it serves for me. I do this with him more than I should, so we discussed that. He talked about me wanting to be seen and having someone see my needs without having to ask and having my needs met which made me break down and cry. Him offering me this session today feels like he is seeing my needs (we talked about some really painful stuff yesterday) and it just feels so weird to have that happen. I hope that makes sense.