Couch 183: Stroopwafel salted caramel.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 11, 2018, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I hope your session goes well.

How do you feel about MC's lack of reply?

Thanks! I'm not sure. I'm a bit worried about what he'll say, but again, I suspect he'll say *something* even if just "I'm sorry you're feeling that way." (Where what I wish he'd say is "I'm sorry I hurt you" but doubt he will.) I figure invariably he'll reply like right after my session today, then I'll have to wait till Monday to talk about it. But still I think having session today will help.

I suppose if I had extremely good willpower, if he replied, I could just wait till Monday's session to read it. Unfortunately, I don't have that sort of willpower...

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 3

I’m laying in bed (slightly after 9pm here) with this nasty cold in hopes I’ll wake up feeling relief tomorrow morning so when I show up at work-I don’t get the boot again tomorrow. I really can’t miss days. I need the money. Oh and H is on a kick with wanting to adopt a dog. I don t think it’s wise. We tried adopting a beautiful Shepherd back in March but had to return him to his foster home only after 5 days because he was too rough on my senior rat terrier. This weekend he went to the shelter and looked at 2 different puppies that were 5 months old and thinks one of those would be a better fit. I think we should wait and let my dog finish out her golden years without interruption-she doesn’t have long. Plus I told H that if he has $350.00 to put out for an adoption fee-then he has money to take care of some things around the home. I disagree with adoption of a dog at this time and I’m putting my foot down.
I should probably go to bed as the sleep meds are kicking in.
ATAT-I wish for you peaceful uneventful sleep tonight.
Art, Nice Gateway. Great looking food.
Echos-Love that pic you posted.
My brain is fuzzy on the rest-I’ll read more tomorrow.
This is Jersey signing off for the evening.

I think a new puppy with a much older dog wouldn't work well. Older dog would appreciate the rest.

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Thanks! I'm not sure. I'm a bit worried about what he'll say, but again, I suspect he'll say *something* even if just "I'm sorry you're feeling that way." (Where what I wish he'd say is "I'm sorry I hurt you" but doubt he will.) I figure invariably he'll reply like right after my session today, then I'll have to wait till Monday to talk about it. But still I think having session today will help.

I suppose if I had extremely good willpower, if he replied, I could just wait till Monday's session to read it. Unfortunately, I don't have that sort of willpower...

I wouldn't be able to wait that long either.

Do you think you would consider booking a session with MC to talk in person again?

unaluna · Dec 11, 2018, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Una I know you would be proud of me= I'm actually turning up to session.

2 hours and 8 mins.

Sooooooo proud!

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Want some WarmFuzzySocks?

I have been waiting so long to crack that joke...

Ahhhhhhhh that's brilliant!

I'm wearing my fuzzy socks now too, on top of my socks so was going to recommend them.

unaluna · Dec 11, 2018, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Ahhhhhhhh that's brilliant!
I'm wearing my fuzzy socks now too, on top of my socks so was going to recommend them.

I ended up getting out of bed to watch The Division and put on cozy slippers, which solved the problem. They are STILL warm!

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Me tonight, with all grades in.

Yay! Fingers crossed the stoodent who emailed you before the exam passed.

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I ended up getting out of bed to watch The Division and put on cozy slippers, which solved the problem. They are STILL warm!

what's the division about?

I posted this before: It's the secret love child of socks and slippers. I'm secretly lusting after them.

Moccis - The Hand-Sewn Swedish Moccasin

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Sooooooo proud!

Hehe but proud enough to bake me brownies?

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucozader

I am regretting emailing R at 1am now.

I shouldn't have done that.

It makes sense that you would reach out to him. I hope he replies soon.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 11, 2018, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I ended up getting out of bed to watch The Division and put on cozy slippers, which solved the problem. They are STILL warm!

Are you watching on START TV? They've been showing ads for it (I've never seen it). I've been rewatching Cold Case on there, which is probably not the best idea, because many of them make me cry at the end. Though maybe it's good for releasing those emotions...

LonesomeTonight · Dec 11, 2018, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I wouldn't be able to wait that long either.

Do you think you would consider booking a session with MC to talk in person again?

Part of me wants to do that, part of me thinks it would be a terrible idea. And I wish I could just go by myself, but I'm sure he'd make me involve H. Or I wish I could just have a schedule phone call with him, ideally just me, for like a half hour (I'd be willing to pay). The thing is, I still doubt I'd get what I want from him. Before I thought I just needed him to admit that it was my "I love you so much" that led him to tighten boundaries and say I had to reduce contact. He basically did. But, months later, after he gave me that, now it's like I want a true apology, like "I'm sorry for how I treated you in the phone call." Which I doubt I'd get. So I think I need to figure out how to fully move on without it.

unaluna · Dec 11, 2018, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Hehe but proud enough to bake me brownies?

Oh hell no

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Oh hell no

In that case thank goodness I also bought a cinnamon swirl to go with my chocolate croissant. That's my gym diet!

unaluna · Dec 11, 2018, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Are you watching on START TV? They've been showing ads for it (I've never seen it). I've been rewatching Cold Case on there, which is probably not the best idea, because many of them make me cry at the end. Though maybe it's good for releasing those emotions...

Yes START! I never watched the division before this. Ive seen all the cold cases probably twice, i cant watch them again. I always liked bonnie bedelia. I never liked Jo from facts of life! But she is really good in this. Tracy chapman grows on ya.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 11, 2018, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Yes START! I never watched the division before this. Ive seen all the cold cases probably twice, i cant watch them again. I always liked bonnie bedelia. I never liked Jo from facts of life! But she is really good in this. Tracy chapman grows on ya.

Tracy Chapman, the singer? I'll check it out once I'm done going through the CCs.

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Part of me wants to do that, part of me thinks it would be a terrible idea. And I wish I could just go by myself, but I'm sure he'd make me involve H. Or I wish I could just have a schedule phone call with him, ideally just me, for like a half hour (I'd be willing to pay). The thing is, I still doubt I'd get what I want from him. Before I thought I just needed him to admit that it was my "I love you so much" that led him to tighten boundaries and say I had to reduce contact. He basically did. But, months later, after he gave me that, now it's like I want a true apology, like "I'm sorry for how I treated you in the phone call." Which I doubt I'd get. So I think I need to figure out how to fully move on without it.

You don't have to have H there and it might be better without him. But if you did meet him and it didn't go well do you think where you are now would you be able to safely contain the fall out?

I hope you can work out what is best for YOU.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 11, 2018, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

You don't have to have H there and it might be better without him. But if you did meet him and it didn't go well do you think where you are now would you be able to safely contain the fall out?

I hope you can work out what is best for YOU.

Well, I'm concerned that ex-MC wouldn't allow me to meet with him without H there. Like a month after the rupture, I asked for a phone call and he required me to have H on it (we talked for an hour). H wasn't paying attention at all, was just playing a game on his computer. It felt like he was there to chaperone or something. And ex-MC gave me two individual sessions early on after I shared about the transference, but when I asked for one a couple months later, he refused, which led to a rupture--because he'd said "My door is always open to you," meaning I could meet with him again, after the second individual session. He later admitted he regretted offering that as soon as he'd said it.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 11, 2018, 10:09 AM

But I'm also worried about the fallout. At one point, I'd discussed the possibility with T of he and I meeting with ex-MC, but that never really went anywhere. He mentioned it to ex-MC, who seemed like he might be open to it, then...I think other stuff happened and it got shelved.

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

But I'm also worried about the fallout. At one point, I'd discussed the possibility with T of he and I meeting with ex-MC, but that never really went anywhere. He mentioned it to ex-MC, who seemed like he might be open to it, then...I think other stuff happened and it got shelved.

I don't think it would be worth it, if it's like to leave you very distressed and unsettled. A year is still very early days. I hope Dr T can support you through this. Perhaps it would best to consider in perhaps X months when you've had more even space and distance.

atisketatasket · 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I never liked Jo from facts of life! But she is really good in this.

Jo was my favorite.

LT, sorry to say, I think your instinct that you won’t get what you need from MC is correct.

stopdog · Dec 11, 2018, 11:22 AM

Is it a need or a want?

LonesomeTonight · Dec 11, 2018, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Is it a need or a want?

Assuming you're referring to me, I guess more of a want?

daisydid · Dec 11, 2018, 11:45 AM

Hello, couch. I hope everyone is doing well. Positive thoughts to all.

I'm beginning to go a bit stir crazy. We had well over a foot of snow over the weekend, so I haven't gone to work this week. Thankfully we purchased enough snow snacks to make it through. I don't think we'll have school tomorrow either, which means I'll have to start rescheduling meetings. At minimum, I have T tomorrow, so I'll leave the house for that.

Lemoncake · Dec 11, 2018, 11:56 AM

Hiiiiiiii!

Use the snow as an excuse to rest up as much as possible, but I can understand the cabin fever.

Would you consider seeing T online if it would be safer than driving in the snow?

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Couch 183: Stroopwafel salted caramel.

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