[SheHulk07]

I want to go run and hide away from anyone. I am feeling completely abandoned by my doctor after today's appointment. I get where they're coming from saying that it's a primary care office not a psych Dr but my dr was the one who offered to do my meds. She was the one who wanted me to speak with their psychiatrist so I went today and the lady was rude and was threatening to send me to the ER because I didn't want to discuss my SI thoughts. I struggle with thoughts and I just told my T about them yesterday, I don't want to talk about them to a lady who I never met and started accusing me on not wanting to get better, not wanting to try and tells me to not even try the new med that my Dr prescribed me because it won't help me. And sat there at dismissed that I'm going to T 3x a week and I feel comfortable with him but it's not DBT so it's not effective to her. She basically told me that my dr is done with me and I don't need to keep my next appt with her if it was just for meds. A 20 minute appointment and she probably thinks I'm some stuck up disobedient person when I am just extremely overwhelmed and trying not to cry all the time lately. I just want to scream that I am trying and I'm sorry I'm not good enough

[LonesomeTonight]

Ugh, that sucks, I'm sorry. Is there maybe a different psychiatrist you could see? That one sounds awful.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Be sure your primary care doctor hears this experience so they do not refer other people to this psychiatrist. Am I understanding that this psychiatrist is in the same office? Sounds horrid. It can take work to find a truly good psychiatrist, but it is probably a good idea if you are on several psych meds. So sorry you had this bad experience.

[Taylor27]

Be sure to let your primary doctor know about this psychiatrist. I have had some psychiatrist who made me feel worse and alone. It's very hard to open up to a stranger doctor. Don't let her get you down, please talk to your therapist and primary doctor. Hugs we are always here to listen on pc

[SheHulk07]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Be sure your primary care doctor hears this experience so they do not refer other people to this psychiatrist. Am I understanding that this psychiatrist is in the same office? Sounds horrid. It can take work to find a truly good psychiatrist, but it is probably a good idea if you are on several psych meds. So sorry you had this bad experience.

Yes, it's one of their psychiatrists that they use to consult with in the office. She told me to find someone else but didn't give me any referrals or anything. I'm on state insurance so it makes it incredibly difficult to find a pdoc. I was only on one psych med and I told her I wanted something for my anxiety and she refused.

[growlycat]

Yeah I like the idea of telling your primary care doctor that it didn’t go well and can he refer you to someone else? She sounds insensitive and confrontational, especially for a first meeting!! Hoping you have other options

[DechanDawa]

Breathe! Now...face reality...it isn't all you. The system sucks. It sounds like you have been jerked around. There is a lot of passing you around from this person to that person. You also aren't being heard.

You specifically asked for something for anxiety. It sounds like that went unheard. I have done the very same thing with my primary care doctor and have not been heard. I cannot get any medication for anxiety so to hell with them! Now I use the herbs valerian and passion flower...and they work as well as anti-anxiety medication. You can buy a bottle at the supermarket or Target!

And of course you seem like a "bad patient" to them because you have needs that aren't being properly met. My mother was a nurse and she always said that the "bad patient" or the demanding patient was the one who got better faster than others. Geez, you are just trying to improve yourself and your life. I personally think you have a right to voice your opinions without having to scream but I so know that desire!

All I can say is...breathe, breathe and breathe. Slow deep breaths.

Then...accept that this system is broken.


I think a lot of patience is needed.

Frankly I have found primary care doctors to be extremely ineffective with regards to mental health care and mental health care medications. I vow I am no longer going to have them be in my mental health care loop. They seem more like technicians than doctors.

Psychiatrists can be jerks, too.

Finally, dealing with all these people is frustrating. Pick your battles. Figure out who can help you the most, what you want from them, and learn to curb your emotions because when you get emotional people won't hear you as well. It is nothing you are doing wrong... it is just that professionals really freak out when their patients get emotional.


Don't get down on yourself. Learn to be a friend to yourself because you are your best advocate.

I have learned all of this through experience.

[growlycat]

It is so hard learning how to be your own health advocate. I’ve had primary care doctors who were super uncomfortable with my mental health issues and those doctors saw me when I was well functioning overall!

I’m wondering if anyone had had any luck reaching out to a mental health organization to see if they have advocacy services?

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by growlycat

It is so hard learning how to be your own health advocate. I’ve had primary care doctors who were super uncomfortable with my mental health issues and those doctors saw me when I was well functioning overall!

I’m wondering if anyone had had any luck reaching out to a mental health organization to see if they have advocacy services?

Advocacy services? It seems like you invented something really great that doesn't exist.

The closest to that I have found is when I call my local crisis hotline. I think it is unusual. It's state funded. You can call as much as you want. The only thing is you don't get the same person every time.

Primary care doctors, in my opinion, should not be involved with mental health care. I don't think they should be prescribing mental health medication. They don't have the training. I don't even know why they are in the loop. As I said from now on I am viewing my primary care doctor as a technician...as she does not seem...very insightful.

[growlycat]

7 Mental Health Advocacy Groups Making a Difference | GeneSight

I guess I meant groups like those in the above article. Didn’t mean to oversell it

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by growlycat

7 Mental Health Advocacy Groups Making a Difference | GeneSight

I guess I meant groups like those in the above article. Didn’t mean to oversell it

Oh no, I am sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I really didn't know it existed. Thanks for this link. I learned something new. Absolutely did not mean to offend and sorry if it came off that way.

later: Okay, checked the link. I know about these, stuff like NAMI. When I say advocacy I mean someone who will help you get the help you need, but also, someone who will hear about your experiences and give feedback when you've been treated unfairly. Ideally a trusted family member could be an advocate. Or even a minister. More often people are alone. I haven't found NAMI that helpful. In my state the crisis hotline people are filling in the gaps and doing a pretty good job. But it isn't counseling.

[growlycat]

No it was sort of funny! Because you would have a good point- these organizations aren’t as funded as they need to be. Someone once told me about paid health advocates, when someone has complex diseases and isn’t well enough to coordinate all the care.
Also children’s hospitals have “child life specialists” that help families not only coordinate care but getting caught up in school too.

I’m sure truly effective advocacy doesn’t exist for mental illness yet. But no offense taken. I was was just wondering out loud if these organizations are moving towards that model

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by growlycat

No it was sort of funny! Because you would have a good point- these organizations aren’t as funded as they need to be. Someone once told me about paid health advocates, when someone has complex diseases and isn’t well enough to coordinate all the care.
Also children’s hospitals have “child life specialists” that help families not only coordinate care but getting caught up in school too.

I’m sure truly effective advocacy doesn’t exist for mental illness yet. But no offense taken. I was was just wondering out loud if these organizations are moving towards that model

Like at my hospital there was a patient advocate. There wasn't anyone specifically for mental health advocacy. I worked as an interfaith chaplain and we stepped in and often served as advocates on the Behavioral Health Unit. Not in any religious sense, just helped the patients be heard. We also got things for the patients if they had no family...like bedroom slippers or notebooks and pens. The Chaplaincy office had funds. We could even purchase stuffed animals (plush toys) for patients!


If would really be a cool new role, I think. Like someone who would serve as an advocate and would contact these various care givers...because to ask the client or patient to do this...is really asking too much.

As well, dealing with professionals who act like jerks...which, sadly, was illustrated in the OP's story.

[SheHulk07]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Yeah I like the idea of telling your primary care doctor that it didn’t go well and can he refer you to someone else? She sounds insensitive and confrontational, especially for a first meeting!! Hoping you have other options

That's the problem, this psychiatrist is who they work and consult with in their office. It's supposed to be a part of the whole integrative care philosophy. So I guess I'll talk to my therapist and see if he thinks I should find a psychiatrist and give me some referrals.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Like at my hospital there was a patient advocate. There wasn't anyone specifically for mental health advocacy. I worked as an interfaith chaplain and we stepped in and often served as advocates on the Behavioral Health Unit. Not in any religious sense, just helped the patients be heard. We also got things for the patients if they had no family...like bedroom slippers or notebooks and pens. The Chaplaincy office had funds. We could even purchase stuffed animals (plush toys) for patients!


If would really be a cool new role, I think. Like someone who would serve as an advocate and would contact these various care givers...because to ask the client or patient to do this...is really asking too much.
Care

As well, dealing with professionals who act like jerks...which, sadly, was illustrated in the OP's story.

Yes it would help the op if someone could coordinate between primary care dr and the mental health doctors/therapists.

When I was on medication, my primary care doc and therapist never spoke to each other. That seems like a big miss in healthcare

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Like at my hospital there was a patient advocate. There wasn't anyone specifically for mental health advocacy. I worked as an interfaith chaplain and we stepped in and often served as advocates on the Behavioral Health Unit. Not in any religious sense, just helped the patients be heard. We also got things for the patients if they had no family...like bedroom slippers or notebooks and pens. The Chaplaincy office had funds. We could even purchase stuffed animals (plush toys) for patients!


If would really be a cool new role, I think. Like someone who would serve as an advocate and would contact these various care givers...because to ask the client or patient to do this...is really asking too much.

As well, dealing with professionals who act like jerks...which, sadly, was illustrated in the OP's story.

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

That's the problem, this psychiatrist is who they work and consult with in their office. It's supposed to be a part of the whole integrative care philosophy. So I guess I'll talk to my therapist and see if he thinks I should find a psychiatrist and give me some referrals.

Since the pdoctor in thier practice is so hostile you are probably doing them a favor by letting them know. The more people speak up I hope that it helps weed out those unfit for the job.