I have a few documents relating to my childhood that I requested from social services as a means to validate my memories. They have greatly. I have had them for about two years now and reference them in session every now and again.


Once my T asked if she could read them, in passing right towards the end, we never mentioned it again, I never replied, but it stuck with me.


2 years later I have said i would like to share a particular document. part of me is because again i want it validated, i want to share this thing with her that is actually very sad to read and kinda expresses a part of me that we have to work with over the next year or just in general if i am going to make any progress.


I brought this up at the end of the session. It was a hard thing for me to even mention and i feel kinda brave even saying I have been thinking about...


However, now i kinda feel like i am asking too much or maybe this is oversharing? Basically she responded 'i am interested in what makes you want to share them'. It kinda made me feel dirty I suppose, like i was asking for too much intimacy. The reasons i want to share them are mainly because i am trying to trust her more, the documents feel like a heavily load if I am honest and they do feel intimate, but i feel alone in reading them and having them to myself.


Is this approiate? Is me asking this and wanting to share this appropriate?

[Ididitmyway]

Yes, it's totally appropriate. It's very important and personal to you and that's what therapy is for - to discuss anything important and personal.

I think, you can explain to your therapist why you want to share the documents with her the same way you explained it here. It's actually the best thing to do since she asked. If she responds positively, you can bring the papers to the next session and show them to her.

[nottrustin]

Absolutely appropriate. She may have asked just to see what your purpose is to make sure you are on the same page. My emdr T would ask me the same thing.

[SlumberKitty]

I also think it's appropriate. I think T's just like to talk about the whys of things, like why you want to share may be just as important as the sharing itself. Kit

So I suppose the question is are my reasons appropriate?

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by 502041

However, now i kinda feel like i am asking too much or maybe this is oversharing? Basically she responded 'i am interested in what makes you want to share them'. It kinda made me feel dirty I suppose, like i was asking for too much intimacy. The reasons i want to share them are mainly because i am trying to trust her more, the documents feel like a heavily load if I am honest and they do feel intimate, but i feel alone in reading them and having them to myself.


Is this approiate? Is me asking this and wanting to share this appropriate?

I haven't shared documents, but I have told my T about the scaring that is medically documented that proves I was abused as a child. Perhaps it is like the childhood photographs I shared with T, bringing them in. It was really helpful and validating to hear what his perceptions were based on them-- some of which were the same as mine (they showed what I thought), but he also had a deeper reaction to them that I wouldn't have thought of if I hadn't brought them in. So his reaction to them helped me learn something I wouldn't have.

IMO opinion your desire to share them with your T is appropriate and brave. Intimacy in therapy is a good thing, and being alone with evidence about how bad things were as a child -- in my version of what I think you are feeling-- is difficult. I think it will help you in all the ways you identify, and I encourage you to do it.

[seeker33]

Definitely appropriate. I don't think she meant to suggest you were dirty at all. It was just a typical therapist question. I absolutely understand your reasons and I think it would be very normal and healing for you to share the documents.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by seeker33

Definitely appropriate. I don't think she meant to suggest you were dirty at all. It was just a typical therapist question.

This is right, I believe. Asking a "why" question is not an suggestion that you've done something wrong, it's a way of understanding more deeply. I think therapists often ask this question so they can get the meaning of the thing-- the documents-- for you, so they can respond in the same vein. So if you were to say that you want her to see the documents to validate your experience, then she knows to go for that.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by 502041

I have a few documents relating to my childhood that I requested from social services as a means to validate my memories. They have greatly. I have had them for about two years now and reference them in session every now and again.


Once my T asked if she could read them, in passing right towards the end, we never mentioned it again, I never replied, but it stuck with me.


2 years later I have said i would like to share a particular document. part of me is because again i want it validated, i want to share this thing with her that is actually very sad to read and kinda expresses a part of me that we have to work with over the next year or just in general if i am going to make any progress.


I brought this up at the end of the session. It was a hard thing for me to even mention and i feel kinda brave even saying I have been thinking about...


However, now i kinda feel like i am asking too much or maybe this is oversharing? Basically she responded 'i am interested in what makes you want to share them'. It kinda made me feel dirty I suppose, like i was asking for too much intimacy. The reasons i want to share them are mainly because i am trying to trust her more, the documents feel like a heavily load if I am honest and they do feel intimate, but i feel alone in reading them and having them to myself.


Is this approiate? Is me asking this and wanting to share this appropriate?

Yes,I feel it's appropriate.

I took in court documents from my childhood,along with pictures and everything else I had relating t my childhood.I found it extremely helpful and validating.

[Rive1976]

She was probably just curious about why now is a good time rather than before. I think you should share it. I think your reasons are fine.

[kecanoe]

I think your T is interested (since you said she asked at one point).
And also wants you to feel non-pressured to share anything you don't want to (since you didn't immediately bring them after she said something about them).
I think anything you want to share with your T is fine to share-and I hope that it is helpful.