[Crook32]

My pdoc thinks it would be a good idea for my wife to go to a therapy session with me. Tomorrow would work well since she is off work. I am apprehensive about it but I can see why he wants it. She doesn’t understand how bad things are at work for me. She takes my coworkers side and doesn’t support me. She feels I am over reacting. I am hiring a lawyer and she doesn’t want that. So maybe if she hears it from my T she will start to get it.

Would you let your spouse go to a therapy session with you?

[growlycat]

That’s a hard question. Ever consider keeping pdoc for you only but seeking a marriage counselor for the two of you? There is a risk that your wife may see your pdoc as being automatically being on your side while a separate marriage counselor could be seen as a neutral party

[Rive1976]

I will be in a similar situation tommorow. I wish you good luck. When my t talked to my husband she always took his side.It could go either way.

[piggy momma]

That’s a tough one. The problem I would have with bringing someone else in is confidentiality - bringing in a third party changes that. I guess it would depend on what my relationship is like with my spouse.

[nottrustin]

My husband went to a couple of appointments over the years. T and I discussed in detail the appointment before what would be discussed. We discussed what her role was in the appointment. Once her role was to be there to offer support when I told my husband painful stuff. Another time her role was to talk to him. Both times we made sure that I felt comfortable and what would not be discussed with my husband

[Crook32]

My wife has gone a few times before but that was when I was doing ECT so I don’t remember any of it.

[MRT6211]

I am not married, but I did have my (now ex) boyfriend come in and have kinda of like couples sessions with my T to work through our issues that were causing me a lot of stress. The sessions were helpful at first, because it helped him understand my issues and my therapy, but unfortunately after a little while, that would always fade. Hence why it’s ex...

[koru_kiwi]

when i was in therapy, i asked my husband, with my Ts consent, if he could start coming along to my sessions for both support and so i could have an extra pair of ears to help me process the sessions. i was easily triggered in sessions due to my CPTSD and would dissociate often. due to the dissociation, i easily could misinterpret things my T was saying or i struggled to even remember what happened in the sessions. my husband attended almost every session (twice a week for a while) for the last 2.5 years of my therapy. because of him being there, i made good progress. since he was there, he knew what i was dealing with in my sessions and could offer better support in between sessions. he also was good at providing info to my T of things that had been happening between sessions (due to the dissociation, i often could not remember or i would down play my symptoms) and he was also a great advocate and witness for me when T was not understanding something i could be trying to convey to him.

for me, having my husband partake in my sessions was a very positive experience that actually strengthened our relationship in the end

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by Crook32

My pdoc thinks it would be a good idea for my wife to go to a therapy session with me. Tomorrow would work well since she is off work. I am apprehensive about it but I can see why he wants it. She doesn’t understand how bad things are at work for me. She takes my coworkers side and doesn’t support me. She feels I am over reacting. I am hiring a lawyer and she doesn’t want that. So maybe if she hears it from my T she will start to get it.

Would you let your spouse go to a therapy session with you?

Yes. I asked her to and she said yes.

[stopdog]

No I would not. It would not work for me.

[Ididitmyway]

Nope. I never had the need to have my husband sit in my individual therapy session. He and I have a very trusting and solid relationship. Whatever I need to tell him, I just tell him. I don't need some authority figure like a therapist or any third party to explain to him how hard my situation is. He believes me. And, if he didn't believe me, I'd consider it a relational problem and would address it in the couple's therapy where this issue belongs, not in my individual therapy.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Nope. I never had the need to have my husband sit in my individual therapy session. He and I have a very trusting and solid relationship. Whatever I need to tell him, I just tell him. I don't need some authority figure like a therapist or any third party to explain to him how hard my situation is. He believes me. And, if he didn't believe me, I'd consider it a relational problem and would address it in the couple's therapy where this issue belongs, not in my individual therapy.

The major time I brought my husband in was because T and I were working on my abuse history. I got to the point where I needed to tell my husband. I trusted him almost completely but the are periods where my fear of abandonment take over. Plus there were details that would be infuriated him about the abuser. Hubby is in NO way an aggressive or violent person normally. So T was there if needed to support me since it would be traumatic for me and she would be there to answer questions and make sure he was safe. He was about to find out somebody who he loved and trusted severely harmed his wife. So yes to a degree it was a trust issue but definitely not something we need a marriage counselor for. We have a very solid marriage.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

The major time I brought my husband in was because T and I were working on my abuse history. I got to the point where I needed to tell my husband. I trusted him almost completely but the are periods where my fear of abandonment take over. Plus there were details that would be infuriated him about the abuser. Hubby is in NO way an aggressive or violent person normally. So T was there if needed to support me since it would be traumatic for me and she would be there to answer questions and make sure he was safe. He was about to find out somebody who he loved and trusted severely harmed his wife. So yes to a degree it was a trust issue but definitely not something we need a marriage counselor for. We have a very solid marriage.

I didn't suggest that anyone who does it differently from how I do it doesn't have a solid marriage. I was only talking about what would and would not work for me. I didn't say everyone should do what I do.

[coolibrarian]

[QUOTE=Ididitmyway;6358626]Nope. I never had the need to have my husband sit in my individual therapy session. He and I have a very trusting and solid relationship. Whatever I need to tell him, I just tell him. I don't need some authority figure like a therapist or any third party to explain to him how hard my situation is]

There are other reasons to have a spouse there. For instance, I have been having physical difficulties speaking, so I wanted her there to interpret, if necessary.

[Ididitmyway]

[QUOTE=coolibrarian;6359649]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Nope. I never had the need to have my husband sit in my individual therapy session. He and I have a very trusting and solid relationship. Whatever I need to tell him, I just tell him. I don't need some authority figure like a therapist or any third party to explain to him how hard my situation is]

There are other reasons to have a spouse there. For instance, I have been having physical difficulties speaking, so I wanted her there to interpret, if necessary.

I think, I already made it very clear in the previous post that my reasons are ONLY MINE, don't have to be anyone else's.

[Victoria'smom]

My husband comes to all my Pdoc's appointments. He's occasionally came to my therapist appointment if I'm scatterbrained, not comprehending english, or needed important information (ie. This **** your doing she'll divorce you over it.).

I go to all of his appointments. He wants me there. I don't know why I sit there quietly and don't add anything.

[RaineD]

[QUOTE=Ididitmyway;6359655]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

I think, I already made it very clear in the previous post that my reasons are ONLY MINE, don't have to be anyone else's.

A bit defensive, don't you think? Also, there's a typo in your signature quote.

"Choose" vs. "Chose"

[kecanoe]

My H has attended lots of sessions with T1: we started doing couple therapy with him and then just I continued seeing him. T1 is a family systems guy, so he likes to have family members come. H still comes sometimes to sessions for various reasons: support, to talk about a conflict, to learn, etc. H has gone to T3 with me once, she was curious about how he saw my DID. And he went to my last session with ex-T, mostly so that I wouldn't have to drive home (I was not happy about terminating, ex-T was retiring).
I think having a spouse attend a session or sessions can be helpful for some people and with some therapists. I'd say give it a try.

I would not.

[Crook32]

She ended up not going. She didn’t like the idea.

[Lefty Seven]

My med load precludes me from driving, so my wife accompanies me to all T and PDOC consultations. She corroborates my testimony, remembers what is said while I cannot, and carries a military-grade smoke grenade in her bag in case we need to beat a hasty retreat.

[coolibrarian]

I didn't want my wife there to be my secretary, taking notes on what was said. I didn't want my wife to be there because I had a touchy subject and needed to tell her with my Pdoc's support. I didn't want my wife there so she could see how well (or not) I was doing. I asked my wife to come to my appointment because I was having some neurological problems which expressed themselves by stuttering and stammering, and shaking, and I wanted my wife to take over talking, if I was unable to. As it turned out, my Pdoc said something I didn't like, and my wife said something I didn't like, either. Today, I might find out when my T is coming back from her medical leave.