[SlumberKitty]

So it's almost Christmas and I find myself missing my former T who I had my last phone session with at the beginning of September even more than usual. Even though she would normally be gone during the Christmas holiday, I would have email contact with her and possibly a voice mail. I found this at Thanksgiving too, where my missing her increased. I'm going to be with family (which may be a good thing or a bad thing) starting tomorrow and going through Monday. Hopefully I will be back home in time for Church Monday night and then Christmas Day with just my parents. So it's not even like I'm alone during the holiday. I have people around me. I don't really rely on my sister and her family for emotional support but my parents are supportive of me even though it scares them when I have hallucinations and stuff. I think I'm just missing someone understanding me like she understood me. Its just hard. I have my new T, who I see after the new year, like on the 2nd I think, but it's not like I can contact her and even if I could I'm not sure what I would say....I'm missing my old T? I mean, yeah, that would probably make new T feel bad. I think it's a sort of grief, missing my former T. And holidays and certain times really trigger that grief more than usual. I don't know if that is a "normal" response or not. I'm not sure what I'm looking for in this post. I guess maybe some support or encouragement. I figure there's people here on PC that get it, that a T isn't like a friend, or something, but they still can mean a terrible lot to a person and it's hard when they aren't in your life anymore. Kit.

[DP_2017]

I feel you, I only haven't had a T for 8 days and Christmas has been hard for me since my dog died last year.... so this year it's even worse, I can't stop thinking about him, wishing we could talk or text or hug....

I am sorry you are going through this too

[satsuma]

I think that holidays like Christmas can often bring back a feeling of grief, or amplify it. Maybe because we are out of our normal routine and also because we are thinking of things like visiting people and buying gifts, so it's a time when our minds turn to people who are important to us. I've heard bereaved people say that they find Christmas especially hard, and in previous years I've experienced that myself as well.
Also, I'm lucky enough not to have lost a therapist in any way - through death or them moving away or whatever - but I feel very close to my therapist, so I do know what you are saying. I think it's definitely a kind of grief, because you lost an important person in your life, and maybe it's harder because of the nature of the relationship and the fact that not everyone could understand it - unlike losing a family member for example, which most people have either experienced or can imagine.

I think it's good that you have plans for Christmas. I know what my T would say in this situation- try to spend time with other people even if you don't feel like it, and be gentle with yourself and don't beat yourself up about feeling upset, it's completely understandable.

[piggy momma]

I think the holidays definitely magnify feelings of grief, and to top it off, your grief is still very new and very fresh, so I think your feelings at this time are understandable.

I would echo satsuma's comments about having plans for Christmas. It will definitely help redirect some of those feelings at least for now, and hopefully come the new year you can start processing them with your new T.

Take care of yourself.

[lucozader]

I totally get it, Kit

[RaineD]

I get it too. What wouldn't I give to be able to see my T again, to be able to buy him a Christmas present.