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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
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#1
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for her. However, it means that I won't get to see her for at least 6 months.
I'm hurting so bad. I'm also jealous. I just want to die. I don't know how I'm going to make it without her for six months. I can barely make it 2 days without communication. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Anonymous45127
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,394
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#2
That would be really hard for me, too. Can you maybe see someone else while she's on leave? It wouldn't be the same, of course, but might still be helpful.
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#3
Wow, six months is a long time. HUGS Kit
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
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#4
Sorry you're struggling Scarlet.thats a tough thing ...
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,808
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#5
Congratulations to your therapist but I know this is hard for you.
My guess is that she'll have some options for people to see while she's on leave. |
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ScarletPimpernel
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#6
Oh man. That would be a really tough pill for me to swallow, too.
It probably won't make you feel any better but here in Canada they're allowed 18 months for maternity leave. I know it's nowhere near the same, and it's going to feel like starting all over again, but I'm sure she will leave you in good hands. Do you know when she's due? |
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#7
I'm sorry, Scarlet. Is there any chance she'd be willing to talk on the phone during that time? And when is she due to start her maternity leave?
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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#8
thats so hard! I understand being jealous. i hope you and she can work out some way to communicate.
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
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#9
Thats so hard. Hugs. I hope she has away to keep intouch six months is a long time.
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
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#10
Nope. No contact for at least 6 months. No phone calls, texts, emails, nothing. She starts maternity leave in April.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#11
Quote:
Ugh, I'm sorry. Will she at least let you see her more often than monthly until then? And it seems like it would be good to find another T for those 6 months if possible. |
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
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#12
Guys, I'm so depressed. I've been crying ever since she told me...the last 2 hours and 10 mins. Like bawling; not just crying. I'm losing everything! No baby, going to lose the house, and now I'm definitely losing my T. And my meds haven't kicked in yet, so I'm super depressed.
Possible trigger:
Possible trigger:
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica Last edited by Turtleboy; Dec 27, 2018 at 12:13 PM.. Reason: Bring within guidelines |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
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10 7,082 hugs
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#13
Quote:
She said she wants me to find another T while she's away. She said she'll help and maybe we can even have a joint session before she leaves. But I don't want another T! __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,808
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#14
If you are suicidal, you need to get to an ER.
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
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10 7,082 hugs
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#15
I just called the crisis line. Of course they were of no help. And yes I told them I'm suicidal.
My dad overhead me on the phone and came in to check on me. He suggested we go out. So we went out to a new age shop. While there, H called. He was freaking out because he got a new phone today and it didn't connect with his car. He needed a key card and couldn't find it. Yes, he knew about T BEFORE deciding to get a new phone and he knew he wasn't going to be home when I came home. Then I got yelled at and lectured about losing the key card and how I shouldn't worry about T and everything's going to be okay. So not helpful. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: the astral plane
Posts: 493
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#16
Oh, Scarlet...
I can't imagine how you must feel, especially given everything you're going through with your own family at present. My heart aches for you, and I cried for you when I read this. I'm not surprised that the crisis line wasn't helpful. Please take care of yourself right now. |
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SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
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10 7,082 hugs
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#17
H just left me again. This time he's going out Lyft'ing. He doesn't care.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,808
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#18
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ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
(SuperPoster!)
10 7,082 hugs
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#19
Called crisis line again. This time it helped. The lady actually talked to me and acknowledged my feelings and reassured me they're normal. She told me to plan out my next session with T, so I can express everything I want to. I have a headache from crying so much. I think I'm going to sleep for a while.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Favorite Jeans
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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#20
Oh no, I'm so sorry , Scarlet. I've been through this. It's awful and triggers every single abandonment trigger you could possibly have. HANG IN THERE! These feelings are going to pass!!
My T went on maternity leave over a year ago and hasn't returned yet. I am doing okay with the T I transferred to though, so its okay now, but it was SO. HARD. in the beginning. I was genuinely happy for my T and genuinely devastated for me. What I did to make it easier was see my new T while I was still seeing T. I visited new T for 15 minutes at a time at first and then worked up to alternating weeks between them. I didn't really want to do that but I knew I had to create that safety net for myself because I wasn't coping with the change. You have time to work on your safety net. Do your best to create a strong one. 6 month will go by so fast, while at the same time feeling like forever. Just plug up those gaps with a stop gap T to tide you over the rough times. You can do this. You can support yourself through this. I know how devastating it feels. But you can find ways to carry yourself through that devastation. It probably isn't going to feel good, but you can make it "good enough" to carry you through. You just have to survive this period of time. Anything else you may get out of it is a bonus. But you can make it good enough to get you to the other side. |
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