Virtual "grieving"

I love modern technology. In fact, I think I can't imagine anyone less interested in tech, gadgets, computing, softwares, AI even (I have a few ongoing artificial intelligence projects) than myself. I tend to get really attached to my good devices though - laptop, phone, tablet. In the past several years, I have always undergone quite a process when a computer died, for example. Or when it was just overdue to upgrade a device.

I am reflecting on all this today because I just got a new phone today. I love it, have already set up the essential functions on it, and am experimenting with the new ones. I don't know why though, the image of my old phone (that I left in the store all wiped out) haunts me. It has nothing to do with functions - my new device already has the same functions (they were transferred virtually) and more. Only some strange feelings for a machine that I had just abandoned...

Thats why i keep mine with me. Forevah!!! Btw, there was a Boston Legal episode about a woman in love with her alarm clock...

How interesting. Makes me wonder is we should have machines or AI that have feelings or consciousness or they might kill us. Would a machine understand the feelings you're having ? I do like to look at Elon Musk sometimes and his concerns. I'm sure your phone has gone to a better place , but isn't it natural to grieve for something that's been part of our life but is now gone ?

"Would a machine understand the feelings you're having ?"

Isn't that one of the current great challenges in the AI field - reciprocity?

Not a machine, but I've already feeling some of the same things that I usually feel in human relationships as well. Focusing on the present and (especially) future a lot. That old phone could not survive without me (=plugging in to charge battery) longer than 2 hours lately. In every other function, it was pretty okay - I never dropped it during the over 3 years of our collaboration, only ~2 small scratches were on the screen when I turned it in today. It helped me to answer a zillion emails/texts and also allowed me to work on a number of projects in detail, using more elaborate functions (softwares). It always woke me up when I wanted and never disturbed when I did not want (set so). It synced with my mind even (other devices and data). I have not been a big photographer during those 3 years but I definitely have some great visuals to document. I backed up all data before the wipe out today, so no loss at all.

I don't know why there is still the image of the old phone, it is in an old fancy but tortured case, is still in my mind. I had similar feelings before around abandoning gadgets or even concepts... I am prone to abandoning ( vs what's more common in PC, being abandoned). One reason, for me, to post this thread, is to potentially follow the process of the abandoner... I think the image of the phone will dissipate for me within a few days.

This isn't at all strange to me. I get attached to my possessions. Saying goodbye to an old car is a nightmare for me.

I don't think it's weird at all. Well used things have character, a personality,like a broken in or worn baseball glove. That being said, I think a lot, if not all, of the attachment comes from our associations with it. For example: you get emotional when you trade in your old car for a new one and whether consciously or unconsciously you remember the experiences and stories you had or told in that car.

I don't know, I think I disagree. I hate driving, and the only events I can think of that I associate with my last car (which I have yet to dispose of) are the two accidents I had in her.

I never got a drivers' license until my mid-30s. I am originally from a European place where driving was not essential. Even after, I only experienced a short ~3 years when I had to drive (after moving to the US). And later, I found myself a way to escape that challenge (driving) again when I moved to where I live now.

Speaking of mechanical learning skills... I could not learn to ride a bike in my childhood. My parents bought a bike, dad tried to teach me, to no avail. The bike rotted in our yard. I kinda learned to ride a bike much later, with a friend/date (when we were ~14), but it was short-lived. I still would not rent a bike or commit to learning it better. And sometimes the fact that my parents bought a bike for me, tried to teach me, I failed, etc... is what I remember when I face these virtual inabilities. I am definitely better with computers, other gadgets, softwares, programming... much better than than the "programming" in my youth.

Idk, i spent more time in my cars than with any other human! I loved those guys!

I attach to inanimate objects and grieve with change. In terms of computers, I hold onto old hard drives for years (need I say decades) before I get rid of them and that is only after moving all files (even system files) to a new stored location.

On a slightly different topic, I have found hoarding ebooks and audiobooks has been a way to feed one element of my needs without cluttering my physical space with stuff. I have well over 5 TB of audio and ebooks.

Doesn't seem strange to me at all. What I found more strange was that my last housesitter intermingled his possessions with mine--which was fine--except that when it came time to sort things out, he couldn't recognize his own things. Kind of an opposite end of the spectrum, having little recognized attachment to things.

For me it feels like grieving the loss of something familiar, reflecting the communications I have with the people in my life. In modern life it seems like the device is the "memory" of it rather than my head or heart.

I also have a hard time letting go of devices, particularly laptops-- critical for my work travel-- because I can trust it to do what I need it to do, so it's like letting go of certainty too. A new laptop will probably work (and each one does kind of work better) but my fear is what if?

I didn't list why I hold onto old drives. For me, it is the awareness that I might have missed moving some file over and once I dispose of the drive, it is gone for good. I guess it is the 'what if I want/need that thing again'.

Exactly, thanks for putting it in simple words I absolutely do not care or even think nostalgically about the phone I left behind yesterday now, because I've set up and used the new one enough already to know it works well and it is better than the previous phone. I actually procrastinated the upgrade for a couple months mostly because I had to travel and was worried, what if the new phone will not function properly (there is a moderately complicated process to set up email and data transfer on new devices in my job)? But, as often, my worries were exaggerated - all that has been set up and works perfectly now. I would certainly not want to get the old phone back now with its ~zero battery life and other limitations.

I was thinking how much this experience is similar to my interpersonal relationship patterns? There is definitely a strong motif of initial brief anxiety but then typically moving on pretty quickly, what I see usually more quickly than many other people. This is not really the case when I was truly attached to someone based on years of good experience and strong bonding (e.g. my father, a few close friends and partners) but even those separations, they do not typically cause serious disruptions in my life. It might sound weird or even inappropriate to some to compare "attachment" to inanimate devices with people, but these were my thoughts today.

Yes, the initial what if's. Well, that's why the diagnosis Generalized Anxiety Disorder fits me usually. But I actually tend to get anxious about practical things way more often than interpersonal things...

There is that feeling, for me, currently about my laptop as well. I got it in 2015 and it pretty much died on me a year later, just after the expiry of the one-year warranty. I got it fixed in a major way instead of just getting a new one (changed the hard disk and also the monitor as it had some minor issues and it was included in the service package).

I love this computer more now than any of the other other machines I've had before because, since that major repair, it's been working perfectly, not a single inconvenience - and I use the hell out of it. It is basically always on and working, and is working well. At this point, I sometimes can't help but wonder how far? Even after the major repair, just some functions of it are getting a little old school... And right now, whenever I think about this, it provokes anxiety. Because this laptop is, by far, the best and most satisfying computer I've ever had. I don't want to lose it and take the uncertainty of a new machine... Even though I know well that my next computer has a much higher probability to be even even better than the risk of annoyance and stress. And when I just just finished writing that sentence, I realize that I do think and feel similarly about my human relationships. Including perhaps finding a therapist again. I could afford it. I am sure that I would use therapy very differently at this point of my life. The old experiences don't even give me anxiety now. More just "I obviously still have this interest"... and "why not"?

I upgraded my phone (had it about 2 1/2 yrs) right before Christmas and traded it in. I TOTALLY GET the feeling of being sad for the phone for leaving it alone in the store. I really did feel like a traitor for getting a new one - even though I love the new one. I've always been that way about things, though. Putting 'feelings' into inanimate objects.

As a child I had to sleep with all of my dolls or stuffed animals, otherwise I believed they would be lonely and sad. Even as an adult I have a weird connection to stuffed animals. When my former T suggested attacking a teddy bear (instead of myself with SH) I was horrified. Kit