[KLL85]

So I met with a new potential therapist and asked the following questions but they refused to answer them. I was really surprised and a bit alarmed that they would refuse as I couldn’t see what reason there would be for refusing. I explained it was important to me to feel as confident as I could that it was the right match as I had had bad previous therapy experiences.
They said the reason was because it would all come down to the relationship with the client however I find that a really odd response.
Questions were:
Do you have any areas you specialise in?
What issues would you not work with?
How would you describe your approach to therapy?
How would you handle working with huge fear of abandonment/rejection and what experience do you have with this?
Are you comfortable working with disorganised attachment and parental transference and how would you work with these issues?
What reasons would you terminate a client and how would you handle this?
What do you believe a therapy session should look like?
If a client expressed suicidal thoughts, at what point would you deem it necessary to break confidentiality?

Maybe I got it completely wrong so I guess I’m just looking for opinions on whether these are unacceptable questions?

[Waterbear]

I think they are perfectly legitimate questions to ask... Personally. The only thing I can think of is that maybe they seem to many, and a little overwhelming. But surely a good T should be able to manage those feelings, break it all down and go through it all with you!! I

I think it's right to get a good fit, and if you knowing they have experience with these things is important to you, then I think you have a right to ask, and I think they have a responsibility to help you get to a place of understanding. Whether they answer all of them in depth or not.

A brush off like you got doesn't seem very good to me at all! That said, I wouldn't write off a T, maybe try emailing and see if written down you get a better response?

[corbie]

Those are pretty reasonable questions. I can see how some of them might be legitimately hard to answer, mainly the last 3, because there are so many variables and a lot might really depend on the actual relationship, but even there she still could have given partial answers or demonstrate willingness to explore the issue, but a refusal&cop-out answer signal the opposite. And should definitely have answered the ones about your specific issues, I mean surely it's sensible to make sure the professional you're about to hire has experience with the thing you're hring them for?

[stopdog]

1. Exactly what is supposed to happen? You talk and then what?
2. What is it you people do to get paid - specifically and literally - not that bs about being a supportive guide, or meta listening or any other psychobabble crap

[LonesomeTonight]

I agree that they're reasonable questions, and I asked many of the same ones to my current T fairly early on (either in initial phone consult or first few sessions). I mean, questions like "How would you describe your approach to therapy?" seem really basic and like something they'd just include on their website. I could see him being uncertain how to answer the ones about abandonment and transference, though he should have given *some* sort of answer, even just "We'd work through it if it became an issue."


If you liked him otherwise, maybe give him another chance? If you're unsure and have other potential options, maybe try those first?

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I personally wouldn't want to work with somebody who couldn't answer those questions. These all sound like questions I'd might ask when first meeting a new T and for some of them it would depend on their answer whether I'd want them as my therapist.

Edit: I agree that some of them might be harder to answer and they might give a more roundabout answer, but at least for some parts I think not getting an answer would freak me out a bit.

[Rive.]

No, these are not unacceptable questions. They are actually pretty legitimate questions.

This potential T refusing to answer them? I see that as a red flag. I would not work with a therapist who refused to answer such basic, valid, questions.

Yes, the relationship is important, but there needs to be some sort of framework *not* working in a vacuum where anything goes. Pretty 'dangerous' imo.

[*Beth*]

Your questions are perfectly appropriate. I don't understand why any therapist would refuse to answer them.

[Favorite Jeans]

They’re all good questions. I really don’t like that this person didn’t answer any of them! I could see having to think about something and get back to you or not having time to get everything in one session but refusing to answer bodes poorly.

Also most therapists I’ve met have discussed their approach to therapy, how they handle suicidality and the limits of confidentiality right upfront without my even having to ask. Many of them also discuss upfront how they’ll handle it if something comes up that is outside their area of expertise/comfort zone.

It sounds like your screening questions did what they were supposed to and screened out a bad candidate!

[MobiusPsyche]

I agree with most of what has been said here. These are entirely reasonable questions. The answers do not depend on the quality or nature of the relationship with the client. Yes, the last few might require a little "wiggle room" in the answer, to allow for unique circumstances which might arise, but they still deserve answers!

It's perfectly reasonable to come to a first session with questions like this, and if a potential T was not prepared to answer them or refused to answer them, personally I would not give that T a second chance no matter how nice they seemed.

Competence trumps niceness every time. My surgeon was not nice, but his work was excellent and I'm alive to enjoy the results!

Sent from my SM-G981U using Tapatalk

[SlumberKitty]

I agree with the others. Your questions were definitely reasonable. Some sort of answer should have been able to be given. I could see, "Let me think about this one and get back to you next session" on a couple but to not answer any of them seems unprofessional. HUGS Kit

[ArtieTheSequal]

I agree with the others as well, to me these are absolutely reasonable and logical questions to ask. It makes no sense to me why a t would not answer them.

[stopdog]

If Your Therapist Does These 20 Things, You Should Fire Them | Thought Catalog