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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,641
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#21
Quote:
Rather a forum where offtopic discussions are discouraged. If I open this thread, I expect to read: Session of Echos. Maybe some reply saying it sounded like a good session. Session of LT. Maybe a similar reply. And so on. What I don't expect is what I read half the time: Session of LT. 5 people: great, good job, how do you feel. Some offering their advice on stuff of the session. Some derailing and commenting on the T. Session of Echos. Somebody saying sounds like a good session, how do you feel? Somebody answers something about LTs session. Echos answers his question. Now we already got two separate discussions that are not at all about the sessions anymore... If you want to discuss things, open a thread to discuss it or discuss it on the couch or something. This thread should be for posting about the session. Not the session, the T, whether you agree with the T, whether the sun is yellow... |
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daisydid, stopdog
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,022
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#22
A Jungian's view of it:
The Vessel | Jung At Heart But admittedly - I do not understand the desire to literally transcribe every minute of an appointment or to get (or give) accolades for the appointment interactions - that seems a tad strange to me. But the list of things that seem strange to me in general is probably long and not the same as the lists of everyone else. I don't care one way or the other if people do it - just, like most of how others approach therapy, foreign to me. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; Jan 08, 2019 at 06:38 PM.. |
ChickenNoodleSoup, unaluna
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Guest
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#23
I haven't read this thread for a while, so maybe out of place...
Echos, regarding your post on the closed thread, I noted the difference your T is referring to is interacting with displaced feelings (fuels transference) vs interacting with genuine feelings (doesn't fuel transference). It's not the subject of the feelings, it's the nature of them. Using displaced due to lack of a better word. |
DP_2017, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
Posts: 1,805
7 4,974 hugs
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#24
Quote:
__________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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WarmFuzzySocks
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LonesomeTonight, WarmFuzzySocks
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,022
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#25
If one wants a discussion over one's particular appointment - why not just start a specific thread on it?
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
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#26
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daisydid, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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daisydid, DP_2017, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, Siennasays, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#27
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daisydid, DP_2017, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,414
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#28
Overall, I think IST worked well as it was..... people commented if they wanted and the poster would reply to that or not if they chose.
It would be a good idea if you have an issue with someone or something written on there, or any thread really, to message privately and not post there, that's how the topics can go off elsewhere. I feel bad for my part in what happened but I was trying to defend LT as my friend and then had to stick up for myself when I got attacked. All of it could have been avoided if people would have messaged each other privately. While I don't have a T to write IST stuff for anymore, I did enjoy reading the recaps for some people... and it would be nice to get back to that and have the choice, as a poster here if I want to comment or not, no one has to reply if I do but I don't think we need separate threads for everything. __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
SalingerEsme
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LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,022
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#29
Quote:
Again I am not saying don't do it - just trying to figure out what is being asked for. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: the astral plane
Posts: 493
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#30
Well heck. I feel bad wanting to actually discuss my session today. Ah well.
It was season 3 with new T today. I guess, I don't know that I like her. She asked me at the end of the last session to do a DBT diary card. She seems to be all gung ho for trying DBT with fidelity with me. The last T who tried discussed skills like, once maybe. I decided that doing the diary card was going to be BS, so I made my own mood tracker inspired by the traditional diary card. T seemed to be a big fan. She spent some time looking over my journal, and made an interesting connection. Friday I was really struggling, but she proposed that I was just super triggered from Thursday when I attended this 2.5 hour training at work on trauma informed care. So what did I think about? My own childhood traumas. She noted that I didn't seem super excited to be at therapy. That I never am, and often get disregulated afterwards. I explained that while I don't disagree that skill building will be good for me, I also need someone to give me a hug and tell me they love me. "You want to feel supported. I get that. Also, I feel like if I did try to hug you that you might punch me." She recommended some kind of positive reinforcement to help me associate therapy with a good thing instead of terrible therapy feelings. H later recommended cheesecake. We spent the last 20 minutes talking about some DBT skills, which led to a conversation about my a-hole AP at work and what it looks like when someone brushes their teeth. ETA: I am feeling very vulnerable in having really begun therapy with someone who isn't my old T and I get that there's drama, but support or feedback would be appreciated if you feel it appropriate. |
Echos Myron redux, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, skeksi, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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DP_2017, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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6 117.7k hugs
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#31
Quote:
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unaluna
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LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
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#32
Quote:
I was feeling vulnerable and insecure and ashamed about having been vulnerable. I was also feeling ashamed for just having really intense feelings about the session. The responses made me feel heard and empathized with. I often emotionally "crash" after a session and feel raw and vulnerable and isolated, and so the shared connection helped. I felt less stupid and less alone with these intense feelings. |
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growlycat, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, stopdog
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
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#33
Thank you for the examples. I never in a million years would have been able to come up with it.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
unaluna
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Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 322
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#34
LT- just want to tell you how much I love your posts... and how much they have helped me grow myself. I wish I could be as open, vulnerable, and brave as you are. Your posts always touch me very deeply and I think add a tremendous amount to this forum. Sending you hugs.
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SalingerEsme
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, unaluna
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,523
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#35
Quote:
Out of curiosity, are there people who act superexcited to be in therapy? I mean, I find it helps, but I'm pretty sure "excited" is not what reads on my face as my T takes me back. I like your H's cheesecake suggestion. Maybe T's should have a dessert tray for the end of session? It can be really hard to tell if a T is right for you this early on. I mean, it can be obvious if a T is clearly WRONG for you right at first. But hard to tell if they're right, if they'll last for the long haul. If that makes any sense. I think that takes more time. Though if you're that unsure, maybe check out other T's? |
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Out There, SlumberKitty, wheeler
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,414
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#36
Quote:
Ya the positive reinforcement is a good idea, it's like helping dogs get over fears and such. If you like cheesecake, that might be a good one, personally I'd pick chocolate Thanks for posting your update. was nice to read __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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LonesomeTonight, Out There, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,489
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#37
Quote:
More of the time in therapy I am dealing with fear, sadness, and anger but I actually have enormous positive feelings about the process and the T. The nature of our work just means those positive feelings don’t often come up in session. |
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LonesomeTonight, Out There
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,170
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#38
I told him I was glad I came on Monday because it gave me greater clarity about what needs resolving. He asked me my sense of what that is. I said that what had affected me over the weekend was picking up on his anxiety about me saying I have internalised his liking me.
I said that he had said he didn't want to repeat T1's mistakes, but suddenly withdrawing was precisely what he did. So in trying not to repeat those mistakes he's doing exactly that. I told him one of the things I value most about working with him is his willingness to take risks, it shows trust for me, and it feels like he rescinded that trust. T said he reflected on it a lot, and he thinks, while the fuelling transference anxiety is generally around, that's not what caused this anxiety and he wondered if it was more that he wondered how we could shift my locus of evaluation so it's not reliant on his feelings. I was like "uh, that's already happened. That's what I mean when I say I have internalised it. If I stopped seeing you tomorrow I would still like myself and trust myself" he said "that's not how I heard it. Sounds like I misinterpreted it" I said " Sounds like you missed it altogether". He said in that case he's not sure what the anxiety was about. I said well if you misunderstood it was probsbly that. He said, he doesn't trust that, and that he feels like there's more there he will reflect on. I said I felt disarmed. Like, I can't be angry with him now he doesn't know what the anxiety was about. I could be angry with him for the fuelling transference thing, but not this. He said "do you have to be right to be angry?" I said "I dont think I have to be right, but you certainly have to be wrong!" And we both laughed. He said he is wrong, he doesn't know and that's pretty useless. We laughed a bit more and he said "what's happening now, why have we shifted to laughter?" I said "Do you feel something is disconnected that needs reconnecting?" He said he doesn't feel disconnected from me but feels he is "out of sorts" in relation to me. I said I feel like that towards him too. I said when we hugged on Monday it didn't feel like either of us were there. We were just going through the motions. We sat and pondered what was happening for a while and T looked like he was thinking intently. I realised I wasn't thinking at all and I wanted to let him do all the work. I told him this. I said it's like being at a train station, if we miss our train my kids just stand there assuming I'm going to sort it all out. I felt like that. I just wanted to sit there waiting for him to plan a new route and sort all the tickets out. He linked that to what I had been saying about autonomy on Monday and We had a good discussion about power, giving it up and wanting it completely and moving between the extremes. I tried to articulate something in a way that didn't sound like a particular thing. I was struggling. He said "pause a second. I believe you that it's not like that. You don't have to find the exact words to prove it". We talked a bit about how I like to use precise language and "show my working". He went on a train of thought and I said "What?" He said he had ended up thinking "I wonder if she is aware of [something therapy related - he didn't tell me, he said "dot dot dot]" then he realised it's my supervisor's job. He said he felt protective. I said sometimes I wish he didn't know I was a therapist because sometimes he tslks to me like a colleague and I am often hurt because I'm not in therapist mode. I personalise whatever he says. I said at the same time I desire those conversations too, but I know they hurt me because I hear them as a client. He said that makes sense. I told him about feeling the same way when someone on here (PC) started quizzing me on my practice. It felt jarring because I am in client mode here. I asked him if he thinks he will work the anxiety out. He said he hoped so and he will keep pondering. Time was pretty much up. We hugged (a nice hug) and as I was leaving he said he now has an emergency umbrella in case I ever arrive in sunshine and leave in rain. I said thanks I'll bear it in mind. And I left. Last edited by Echos Myron redux; Jan 09, 2019 at 08:40 AM.. |
Anonymous56789, daisydid, Out There, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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circlesincircles, daisydid, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
Posts: 1,805
7 4,974 hugs
given |
#39
Quote:
While maybe the responses on the thread go wrong every once in a while, often they are sincere. __________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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LabRat27
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: the astral plane
Posts: 493
5 375 hugs
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#40
Quote:
But I am a huge fan of therapy cheesecake. We should all have therapy desserts! |
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LonesomeTonight, skeksi, WarmFuzzySocks
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LonesomeTonight
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