Wishing your T knew the non-therapy you

However, I have thought before that I'd like him to see me out in the world acting competently rather than sitting there crying. That he could see me in a good parenting moment. If he could see me at a professional event (I work from home, so that would be pretty boring for him to see!) And I've mentioned showing him photos, like of my family (think I showed him my D once), and asked if he thought that would be helpful to him, and he said no. I may still suggest that... I've mentioned my H's height (he's tall, unlike T!) and that he's of Irish heritage and a bearded redhead, but never shown a photo. Part of me wants to see a pic from my wedding day, where I looked really polished (thanks, makeup artist and hairdresser!) and happy. Or maybe just any photo where I look really happy. Hm...

ETA: In some ways, it would also be interesting for him to see my Facebook, to see how I present myself to the world in that way. (Or possibly some of my posts on here...) Or I've thought that it would be interesting if I was out to dinner with, say, my parents, and he was sitting at a nearby table, observing the interactions. Because it would be interesting to have a therapist's view of how those go.

I think often about this, especially wishing she was able to see me in a setting where I was more "competent" at making eye contact, carrying on a conversation without extended silences, being articulate, making decisive decisions, feeling confident, and displaying other skills I regularly do as a functional, successful adult; skills one would probably never know I possess if only sitting in a therapy session with me.

I think I know deep in my heart she has to know this side exists. Sometimes I wish, though, she would acknowledge it.