Has T ever forgotten your name?

Has your therapist ever forgotten your name? My has done a handful of times before. I’ve mainly put it down to a momentary blip in memory. Today my T forgot my name again and looked at me for a few seconds whilst I entered the office as if trying to think who they had in front of them. I have been with this T for a few years now.

Not exactly, but my T called me by my last name in session yesterday. TBH my last name is sometimes used as a first name, so it's sort of understandable, however, it is still irritating. I'm sorry that happened to you Glowworm80. HUGS Kit

LOL! He was constantly calling me Carol (my name is Chris). It was a running joke with us. I started calling him Stewie (not his name). LOL! It actually wasn't constantly, but semi-regularly and I was always "Carol". His explanation was that I reminded him of someone he knew by that name (I assumed a former client but honestly don't know). It honestly didn't bother me much. I have always been crap with names myself, even sometimes with people I've known for a long time, so I guess I empathize. I also frequently get the "Haven't we met before?" or "Are you ____?" from people. I must have a doppelganger out there somewhere. My mother used to get those questions too. Hmm.

Did he admit he forgot your name, or is this your interpretation? Did you ask him what his look meant? Is it possible you entered his office in a way that startled him or caused him to give a certain look? I just think it's unlikely at the beginning of session when he likely looked at his schedule to see who was on his schedule.

I thought you meant he tried to say your name in the middle of a sentence or something. But I've found I'm wrong about some of my T's "looks," so much so that now I just say when he has a look, "what's that look about??"

I didn’t startled him. I don’t think he doesn’t remember me or anything like that it was just strange. I did ask what the look meant and he said ‘nothing I am just thinking’ it was ‘hello....pause (as if thinking for 2-3 seconds)...then my name ... and then went to sit down. It’s not a huge deal just made me wondering if other Ts forget names much. It’s likely he has a momentary block or his mind was elsewhere.

No but for like the entire first year, I was convinced he didn’t know my name because he didn’t say it ever. Then he started saying my name every once it a while but always pronounced it wrong. He finally has it right now

I find the attached image to be very true. The mother calls me by my sister's name more often than anything else. I have also been called my father's name and the dog's name. Makes it hard to take it personally when anyone else gets it wrong. But yes, the therapist has called me by C's name and also has referred to me as Savannah.

Something to consider. I have a diagnosed mild cognitive impairment. There are people I have literally seen and worked with on a daily basis for over 3 yrs that I suddenly cannot remember their name. What you described about your T looking at you for a moment like they were trying to figure out who you were hit me because I could immediately see myself in front of someone I absolutely know and just can't remember their name. There may be a very good reason this happens that has nothing to do with you at all.

What's does that mean to you. A, T forgetting your name?

Why not accept what he said at face value? If I was distracted by my internal thoughts, it might take me a few seconds before I could switch them off and say someone's name. I think it's your interpretation that he "forgot" your name, as opposed to he simply paused before he said it, because his mind was elsewhere before you entered. And even if he "forgot" it, I don't consider a 2 or 3 second "forget" an actual forgetting. Forgetting someone's name is being unable to recall it for some length of time, like saying "hello . . . . ." and then shaking one's head as if to dislodge the memory or snapping your fingers trying to remember.

I think it is common to misinterpret what people say, and it has helped me with T in the past to ask him directly as a way of checking my perceptions. Usually they are wrong. I don't think the point is about being right or wrong, but understanding that interpreting something in the most negative way possible does impact the way you relate to someone. Or how you feel about yourself, which in this case sounds like it fits some internal schema that you are in fact "forgettable," hence you leap to confirm your belief with "evidence."

I don't recall if the woman ever forgot my name actively - she seemed to have it written down so it was easy to check. She did forget just about everything else. She had a memory like a sieve. I doubt if she would remember my name now a year later after no longer hiring her.
I did not take it personally as such.

Glowworm80, Just in case this could comfort or reassure you, I personally have a terrible block about people's names. My boss, someone who I'm dating - I just blank their name, even while I have an unusually accurate memory for every detail of our conversations, etc. Seems like early in my life my brain decided by itself that in the scale of human existence names don't matter. I do my best to trick my brain into remembering one way or another because I know that people find names important.

If I were in the role of your therapist, I would feel fine if you brought this up with me openly - because it's something that everybody in my life knows about me. Just like everyone also knows that I have an annoyingly accurate memory for everything else.

I do understand how weird and impactful it must be to go into session and have this happen!!! But it might not be as neglectful as it feels.

Best of luck!

Saidso

My T called me Rachel a few times in session. At least it was consistent lol. But one time I was in the waiting room and didn't hear her calling my name, so she snuck up beside me. I was like "omg, I'm so sorry, I was totally caught up on my phone". In session she kept calling me Rachel and I was like " Its Sienna" and she stared at me and then said "that explains why you didn't hear me calling you in the waiting room ". We both laughed it off. I've been called a lot of names over the years - Sara, Sierra, Anna. It happens.
I'm also in a profession where I should probably remember peoples names better than I do, so I often default to "hey buddy!"

So I am alone in the waiting room and my pdoc comes out and in a questioning voice calls out my name. Granted I have seen him only 2 times previous but come on - I was the only one in the room! I expected a better greeting than that.