Benefits of therapy

I need a positive thread. There is a lot of negative and in no way am I negating any of the struggles or bad experiences we have faced. I just thought maybe we could discuss some of the positive. What keeps you in therapy. What positive things have you learned from it. What are some of your accomplishments??

It was not an unuseful place to vent when my person was dying. Even a therapist could not make the situation there worse.

When I started therapy, I thought I was just angry and needed to vent to a stranger. What I found was that I had A LOT of other issues - LOL. And I dug deep and found a more authentic version of myself. I learned what I wanted and how to get it - in terms of my relationships; I cut people out that didn't serve a purpose in my growth - or didn't get it, and thus, inadvertently, hindered it. I learned to communicate better, listen better, pick up cues better. Most importantly, I learned to see a little bit of grey - instead of just black and white.
The thing that keeps me going is that I need a place to process things that I can't with real people in my life. She's been a sort of anchor when I start to spiral up or down - she's proven herself to be a helpful resource.

Great post idea. Thanks.

Well my biggest thing was learning to be ok with hugging someone I care about and not have shame over it.

I also learned some good skills for being more assertive. I eventually became ok with crying in front of people

Therapy was really helpful to me overall. Just sucks he left and it's over

Having a place to talk about topics nobody in my personal life would want to listen to for an hour a week.

Initially I got hope back.- this was vital to continuing to live. Then in time I gained insight and understanding. It was a tumultuous period (still is) but I know more about myself, why I do things, and that for me is a necessary step to change.

Now I'm.beginning to feel, it's like the world is becoming colour. True it's been mainly the crap dark colours but I can anticipate light.

I feel more authentic is my relationships.

Just today I sent two parcels because I finally felt that people don't disappear or cease to exist when I don't see them, which is how I've lived my life and ****s up friendships and family ties, which is linked to working on abandonment fears.

Just this past week I wrote an article for first time in like 18 months ie looking to the futute but for 1st time on a topic I'm interested in and not one that is good for career.

So therapy has been good, v v v v v hard but good. I went back a lots of steps before going forward.

I told my therapist last session, "This is why I keep coming. I say things out loud that I didn't even know I knew."

My therapist has walked...is walking...me through recognizing, coping with, recovering from an abusive relationship. She has done it without rushing me or having any expectation for where I should be in my own journey. For a time, she was a lifeline, and she continues to be a mentor and guide.

Plus I like her as a person.

I am alive today very much due to the support and intervention and skills I benefitted from through my years in therapy. I know that without a doubt. I went from a person wracked with shame and depression, anxiety and crippling flashbacks, to an woman able now to stand on my own, very much alive, very much whole, more stable now than at any previous point in my life much in part to the consistency of support and skilled guidance of several therapists and one particular psychiatrist. I no longer am in therapy because I no longer require that kind of outside support system as those therapists helped me find my own ability to cope healthily with life and to accept and rely on the loving support of my family and friends.

What keeps me in therapy is having an outlet for the stresses of work and family life. My T is able to hear anything about my work, whereas I have to protect most people in my life from what I hear and deal with at work given the trauma that is at the center of all of it. And because I work within a system that is horribly broken and unjust.

Among the positive things that I have learned, perhaps at the top is that there is always a deeper way to explore what I think and feel, an appreciation for being able to see things in ways that are more flexible and open than I used to be. That much of my pain and suffering, notwithstanding an abusive childhood, is the product of my stubborn ways of being and thinking. Being able to be fully present in my life rather than chattered up by past feelings and history, at least some of the time. Being proactive in changing things in my world that weren't working for me; having support to put myself first and honor my creative spirit.

I think my greatest accomplishment in therapy, which was made easier by the fact that I'd been in therapy for five years before my spouse became terminally ill, was to move through the crush of grief (still in process five years later) with my personhood still intact, to be able to be there for my then-middle school kid in his, and to have not just spontaneously combusted from the horribleness and pain of it all. To have been able to use therapy as a way to process a big grief rather than hiding under a rock for the last five years is something I'm proud of. It was f*ing hard as hell becoming a single mother unexpectedly and all the past losses that came out of the historical woodwork as a result. As Elton John puts it, I'm still standing. There were other choices.

Oh Stopdog, I love you. Not in a weird sort of way but as human who seems to like going against the grain and not caring what anybody thinks. I wish I had that ability.

I suspect a lot of people in thinking it is on thing and will be quick. Only to find out the issues go much deeper.

I could have written the same post.

It's having that outlet for an hour without the fear of being judge and feeling the support has been the biggest benefit of being in therapy. Also being taught how to handle life stress as it comes and knowing i have my therapist to help me through the hard stuff and to learn how to handle things on my own baby steps

Totally. It was a concern that I’d eventually uncover things I didn’t want to, and I expressed that in the beginning. Luckily, she’s pretty good at her job, and all the unfolding happened very organically.

I knew it wouldn’t be quick but it did take longer than even I thought it would. I just am so glad I had that support during some really difficult times.

Over the years I have learned so much about not just myself but humans in general.

I went thinking I needed to just learn to grieve my mom. I needed help with parenting but feared being told I was a bad parent. I thought they were my only issues.

I learned:
I am my own worst enemy and judge myself any more than others do. I have a lot higher expectations for myself than I do for others. People dont jusge me as a horrible gross person because of my past
I am lovable. People do care about me. Hugging people can be comforting. The are people who do keep their word. Loving and having great memories of a person is totally worth the pain.
There are good therapists and bad.
It is okay to cut toxic people out of my life who are toxic even if they are family.
I am not responsible for other peoples happiness.
I am a good mom who raised amazing children.

I am still on therapy because I enjoy having somebody to help me process life. Who I dont have to worry about judging me and understands me. I also hold out hope that I will get to the point where all those things I have learned actually sticks and that my past will no longer have such a hold over me.

Another part was he very much encouraged me to ask for what I want, and I did, often (with him I got so comfortable, it became easy no matter how out there it was) but now I'm finding myself being more bold in this type of stuff. Even at my surgery, I was outright asking the nurses and doctors things and telling them No for some things.

I have gained a lot more confidence and openness in my ways of relating to other people. I'm a lot less scared to try new things in general. I've also been able to find new career goals and made a lot of progress in that direction, which I don't think I could have done as well without therapy to help me talk out what I want to do (or don't want to do) and why.

An immense hope crossed my fear.

I had dinner with my son and daughter-in-law last night, and she brought up her own therapy. She survived a very mentally ill and abusive mother as well as a distant and largely absent father. Additionally, she deals with Hashimoto's and constant exhaustion that goes with that disease. She was saying how much she feels she's progressed in getting through her complicated relationships with her parents. She has found having a therapist to bounce off of and talk these things through has helped her find more personal balance and inner calm. She's seeing progress and is really proud of herself.

I've found therapy to be useful in my life.

1. It helped me understand SH and what it means in my life and what is behind it.
2. How to authentically love myself.
3. How to understand that my being okay is not dependent on others around me being okay.
4. Emotions are just emotions and are neither good nor bad.
5. I can get angry and the world won't end (or any other number of bad things)
6. I can trust another person and that trust won't be squandered.
7. Another person can listen to my crap without getting contaminated.

8. How to live with the hallucinations.
That's all I can think of but there's probably more. Kit.

I've learned I have some worth as a human being. I'm not totally damaged. There is a person who understands me. She's taught me coping skills.

Therapy helped me find the confidence to go back to school and is continuing to help me cope with the changes in my life and family that have went with that decision.

I learned an extraordinary amount about myself and about life by therapy ‘failure’:

1) No relationship, no matter how wonderful it feels at times, is worth changing who I am or sacrificing my self-respect
2) I am strong enough to overcome enormous loss and emptiness
3) I am responsible for my own self-care
4) Mistakes are often the best teacher
5) It is okay to burn bridges when I know I can’t return to where I’ve been. At times it is the only option
6) Giving up often takes more courage than holding on
7) I can’t control anyone but myself and my responses
8) I can’t expect the person who broke me to fix me

I basically have alot of ***** in my head and need some place to sort it out.