[LonesomeTonight]

I'm curious: Does your T let you contact them in any way when they're on vacation? And if so, would they respond? Note: Poll is set so you can select multiple options.

I don't want this to turn into a debate on whether, if a T allows it, a client *should* contact them on vacation. (As in, no "Leave the poor T alone!" or something.) I'm just curious as to what general practices are.

[LostOnTheTrail]

R encourages me to email in between sessions when I need to. Responses can be hit and miss...but life happens.

[stopdog]

I rarely knew and never asked as to why a therapist was not going to be at an appointment. If they cancelled - the reason for the cancellation made no difference to me. I did not look at it as an "allow" situation. I never wanted responses from those people if I wrote them to begin with. I would write and email or send by letter if I wanted to no matter what. Whether to choose to read correspondence or not is on the therapist like any one else. The woman never tried telling me I could not write. The second one offered phone calls if she was going to be away but I never took her up. I did not find talking to a therapist by phone to be useful.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I can only contact my T on the days he works. Even when he's not gone, he won't answer calls or see his texts on the days he doesn't work.

He's currently gone for one week, and I wouldn't have anyone to contact in case it'd be going bad. Last Summer he was gone for a couple of weeks and I had a really bad time. I saw my primary care doctor for a couple of sessions during that time and I think my T would expect me to do a similar thing again if I needed that.

[ElectricManatee]

It depends, but generally yes. I can email or talk to her on the phone when she isn't on vacation, but usually it's just email while she's gone. She will usually reply within a day or so, but the reply is more brief than usual. Occasionally she decides to do a handful of pre-arranged phone sessions with clients on her trip if she has downtime (like if it's not a "real" vacation).

If she is not planning on monitoring her voicemail, she will have another T cover, so I could always talk to that person or schedule to see them. This is stuff we usually discuss ahead of time since it varies based on where she is going, what she is doing, and who she will be with. She's much less available on, say, an international family vacation than if she's tagging along on her partner's business trip and he's going to be busy in the daytime anyway.

[Lemoncake]

"I'm a special case" and he has given me a full session whilst away before.


R recently started letting me do this and during his Christmas break I only emailed to say "hi" with a smiley face three days before I was supposed to see him anyway. When we first started doing this it didn't work well in august, but that was because I still expected him to respond with our old 2 day limit.

Before he went away we agreed to doubling our new email reply time (5 days) to 10 day.

I feel better knowing that he is still there.

[Middlemarcher]

I’m sure I could email/call my T when she’s on vacation, but she wouldn’t read email or listen to voicemails until she was back. She always has a backup T available for phone calls and appointments if she’s gone.

[Anne2.0]

My T is fine with phone calls while he's on vacation, though usually he's on stay-cation. I have called him while he's on staycation but never on vacation. I don't communicate with him by text or email unless it's about scheduling, but that's my choice rather than his, so I can't speak to that. I am pretty sure he'd be fine with those as well, I personally just prefer talking on the phone.

[feileacan]

I answered: it depends, they let me call and other.

The fact is that my T has let me email and they have responded, they have also let me call and once they also arranged to have an extra session during the vacation. This all happened several years ago when I just wouldn't handle the vacation otherwise.

Now the things are completely different. I can email to my T but he will not even read anymore. If I want him to read my email then I have to bring it to the session or ask him to read it during our skype session time. Neither does he expect me to call or text during his vacation because I am so much stronger now that I just do not need it anymore.

But, if he would seriously think that I would start needing it for some reason then he would probably change his policy with me again.

[SlumberKitty]

My former T allowed (and encouraged) emails when she was on vacation. She would tell me the days where the internet reception wouldn't be good so that way I wouldn't worry if I hadn't gotten a response, or if I was in crises on those days, I knew that she wouldn't be available. But if internet reception was good and she generally knew because she planned her trips very well, she would definitely encourage it. With current T, my schedule with her is erratic anyway, so a) I don't know when she goes on vacation, or if she does and b) I don't have her email or cell number so there is no outside contact whatsoever. I could call the office and ask if I could somehow talk to her or get her to call me back, but as of yet I haven't done so. I dislike talking to the answering service and usually when I'm falling apart is outside of office hours anyway. Good thread, LT. HUGS Kit

[NP_Complete]

It depends. I think it depends a lot on if there's a cell signal or he's traveling internationally. We've tried a variety of things when he's on vacation. Pre-arranged emails, a backup t, pre-arranged phone calls, journaling. He really tries for me. I'm feeling like a needy freak right now.

[elisewin]

I can contact her during breaks and she answers when she can. I don't do it that much when she is on vacation but I am encouraged to reach out if I want/need to.

Yes, my T doesnt set my boundaries (try to control me) only his own, so in that sense he allows it.

I hardly contact him while he is on vacation, but one time he wrote me back. His email reponses are never anything but brief, and that one was no different.

[velcro003]

I put “other,” because she probably would (eventually) read an email i wrote while she was on vacation, but i don’t know if she’d respond. She only goes away for a week like 2-3 times a year, so i don’t bother her when she is away.

[Taylor27]

No once he is out of the clinic he has no access to his phone. He does not allow e-mail nor does he have a work cell.

[Lrad123]

I can email any time I want whether he is on vacation or not, but he won’t reply. He always reads my emails but I have no idea if he would read it while on vacation or if he’d wait until he returns.

[Calla lily12]

If he's vacationing in state, I have his vacation home phone. I can e mail or text otherwise. He always answers

[JaneTennison1]

I mean there is nothing stopping me texting or emailing when she is away or at anytime but she would never respond and if she did it would just to be to say we can discuss it in session and she hopes I'm well or something

[nottrustin]

T always told me as she was leaving for vacation that she was still available by email. A few times I mentioned wanting her to enjoy her vacation and not worry about work
She always responded that it wwas for her to decide if she wanted to have contact on vacations or not. She was capable of taking care of herself. She would still have a great time but could check in at least once a day.

I have never asked Emdr T and I won't ask; she also has not mentioned it. She has a young child and all her family lives out of state, most vacations involve traveling and spending time with family.

How could a therapist forbid you from contacting them? By telling you not to contact them or by blocking your number or by not opening your email? I find the idea of a therapist "allowing" contact very disempowering and infantilising. I like to think that clients can decide their own boundaries and do not simply accept the contact crumbs which a therapist throws their way.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I used to be allowed contact while T was on vacation. Now, it depends on the vacation. If it's a short vacation or a work trip, then yes. If it's a long vacation or she'll be in an area where she won't get good reception, then no. She said she no longer tells me when it's a short vacation, so that I don't over react.

[LonesomeTonight]

Thanks for all the replies--I was just sort of curious as to what was common. Maybe "let" was the wrong term to use... My T has been away since Saturday. I usually see him twice a week, and this is the longest he's been away in a long time (I'll see him again Monday). He emphasized to me multiple times in Thursday's session that it was fine if I ended up emailing him, that he'd only be replying to emails once a day, but that he'd get back to me within a day or so. He'd said before that he wouldn't be doing any texting or phone calls (texting is only for scheduling anyway, and phone is usually for scheduled calls), and I got the sense he'd be out of the country. He also set up two backup T's. I was having a rough week and ended up having a phone session with one of them on Tuesday. Still ended up sending T a brief email Wednesday night, and he replied Thursday with a caring response, even apologizing for taking so long and saying to feel free to contact him again if I felt it would help. I really appreciated that and was wondering how common it was for T's to be OK emailing when they're on vacation (ex-T didn't allow it, but ex-MC generally did).

He'd said the session before he left for vacation that I was like a lawnmower he's repairing that he'd put under a tarp and return to when he got back--that I'm his client and he has a responsibility to me. I appreciated that analogy and his willingness to still have email contact. I could also understand a T needing a complete break from working with clients. So was just curious what other T's did.

[ArtleyWilkins]

1st Therapist: No. He did provide access to a back-up therapist if needed but I didn't really use her.

2nd Therapist: I honestly don't remember vacations. I'm sure he took them but apparently it wasn't an issue either way. Never really asked or needed one though.

3rd Therapist: No. Generally, he was rather inaccessible during vacation (for instance, fishing out in the middle of nowhere with no phone access). I wouldn't have asked though. His vacation time was his vacation time and I wouldn't presume to intrude on that time. I had a pdoc that I could contact in an emergency which was a good plan if needed

[Echos Myron redux]

Last time T offered me regular email contact while he was on holiday. I told him no, because I wanted him to have the time off.

This time I told him I would really struggle with the break but he didn't offer me email contact. He didn't say I couldn't but he didn't offer either.

In fact, come to mention it, I think that's what I wanted to hear when I told him how difficult it would be. I think I wanted him to offer me email contact like he did last time. No wonder it hurt when he just dismissed me.

S***. I hadn't made that connection. Thanks LT. Inconsistent boundaries from him. That is part of what hurts.

[unaluna]

Cant believe im the only stowaway! Didnt anybody else read Nancy Drew growing up?