[Cantfindthewords]

As the title, do you just know?

I feel in a good place at the moment, especially when I compare myself to a few months ago, I’m also going just twice a month now. But, the thought of quitting altogether feels scary, like a safety blanket being taken away. I like the idea of finishing therapy, but what if something happens and I need her?

Should I discuss this with my therapist?

Any advice welcome!

[Out There]

I would discuss this with my T. I did ask one of my T's what he thought because I wasn't entirely able to gauge where I was , and did appreciate him giving his professional opinion I wasn't ready to leave just yet.

[ArtleyWilkins]

When I hit that point we just sort of went on an as needed basis. Come to find out, it wasn't needed. I think I might have gone back once because it seemed like the thing to do, but once I got there, I realized I really didn't need to be there. That was pretty much it. It's been like 6 years now. I could still go back if I felt the need; just don't think it will happen at this point.

[seoultous]

I have chronic mental illness and I check in with my therapist about once a month. I don't see my pdoc often, and frankly that is just fine with me. My therapist is a good listener to whom I go to when I question whether or not I am indeed doing ok. If something sneaks up on me - primarily depression - I have someone who will help me through those rough spots. Maybe its like a security blanket but mostly I think of therapy as a safe place to explore my strengths and gain skills to help with life's challenges.

Oh. I forgot to say that I have been with my therapist for 10 years so maybe I shouldn't weigh in on termination - just saying.

[LonesomeTonight]

My termination with ex-marriage counselor was on negative terms, so not the best example. And with ex-T, I had intended to just consult with a different T for a month or two, then ended up just staying with him.


But I can tell you what my T has said about termination, or, as he prefers to call it, "graduation." He said if a client comes in multiple weeks in a row and has very little to talk about, then it can seem like it's time to end therapy (or at least go to an as-needed basis). Or, if we were just talking about the local sports team, general chitchat most of the time. He says that so far I pretty much always have things to talk about (maybe a bit of small talk, but mostly actually therapeutic--though small talk can help build rapport/connection), so it would be fairly obvious if I hit that point.

[Cantfindthewords]

I just wanted to update if anyone is interested. Thank you for advice above too.

I had a session yesterday and discussed stopping therapy. T was great and supportive, obviously. I felt really sad about it though but realise I have the ability to look out for myself. She said she was brimming with pride and happiness for me which was really nice. I have decided to slowly wean myself off so have gone down to once a month, which feels scary but good at the same time. We’ve done some really good work together and I’m so thankful to her. Seems like therapy has really helped me and life feels good for the first time in a while.

[stopdog]

I never found trying to discuss this sort of thing with a therapist to be useful at all. Take a break and see would be how I approached it.

[HD7970GHZ]

Hi Cantfindthewords,

I recommend taking a break from therapy like Stopdog suggested - see how it goes. There is no shame in returning if need be. It is also a nice feeling when you have control of when therapy begins and ends; unfortunately not all of us have that choice and are abandoned brutally without warning.

In making that transition, definitely make plans with your therapist about finding replacement support networks if you don't already have them.

I personally found the best therapy was when ending therapy was my choice. Premature endings to therapy feels disastrous and can leave us feeling abandoned and alone and unable to continue the healing process. Starting with a new therapist sucks, especially when it is a referral and when we have complex traumas that take lengthy periods of time to build safety, repoire and trust within the therapeutic alliance.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz