How to deal with regret?

DP_2017 · Feb 26, 2019, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Topiarysurvivor

I think he is showing caring for you by sticking to the 2 year time. In my state it is 5, and there are some strings attached.

Well depends where you are licensed with, there is places in my state that are 5 as well and some that are never.... but 2 is where he is licensed

That being said, maybe it's care idk but it seems more like covering his ***. I just wish I had more hope of it, even if its small, that he really meant that I could contact him AND that he wont forget me by then but idk if I really do

ArtleyWilkins · Feb 26, 2019, 11:00 PM

I think I've just learned over the years not to dwell on what could have been. Regrets are just a way of ruminating over the past, and the past can't be changed. All I can do is what I can do each day, in the present. It doesn't always work out. I don't always get it right. And that's okay. The next day I'll do things differently and perhaps that will make tomorrow work out better.

DP_2017 · Feb 27, 2019, 01:55 PM

Thanks for all the replies. Lots of good and helpful things to consider here. see baby t tomorrow, we will see what happens there, he does CBT so maybe that can help

Under*Over · Feb 27, 2019, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomatenoir

My dad said something similar once, and it's always stuck with me.

I asked him (when he was 42 and I was 7) if he had any regrets. I assumed the answer would be yes because 42 seemed ancient to me. But he told me no. He said when he was 7 he was doing the best his 7-year-old self could do, that at 42 he was doing the best his 42-year-old self could do, and that when he was 80, he'd do the best his 80-year-old self could do.

We do our best in a given moment. We cobble together our knowledge, emotional resources, support system and do the best we can at the time. Don't hold what you didn't have or know in the past against your present self.

I really like this. Im usually really hard on myself, to the point where thats been the focus of... lots of therapists who have tried to help me.

I like this. I dont know if I can allow myself to let it apply to me- but maybe. It is beautiful to me.

Nik87 · Feb 28, 2019, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Well depends where you are licensed with, there is places in my state that are 5 as well and some that are never.... but 2 is where he is licensed

That being said, maybe it's care idk but it seems more like covering his ***. I just wish I had more hope of it, even if its small, that he really meant that I could contact him AND that he wont forget me by then but idk if I really do

How do you find out how many years it needs to be before a friendship? Mine is under the California board of behavioral sciences. But I have no idea how to look up the rules!

DP_2017 · Feb 28, 2019, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nik87

How do you find out how many years it needs to be before a friendship? Mine is under the California board of behavioral sciences. But I have no idea how to look up the rules!

For me I just googled where he was licensed, found a website and searched him found his name so I knew I had the right place and I contacted them via email

Typically friendship isn't against the law/rules, its more of an ethics thing.... so it's not probably gonna be listed, you would have to contact them and ask. If you google them, can you find a number or email? I'd try that

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