[Omers]

T is very good with me and very kind. After 20 years of being with the wrong T’s it is really nice to have him. T encourages phone calls and does not like emails but wants to be available to his clients if they need to tell him anything.
With email you don’t have tone of voice so I assume his usual tone. With the phone you do have it but if he is distracted or anything I hear it and get really upset. I also have a son with mental health challenges who acts out if I am on the phone. T told me last week he will always read my emails but it may not be right away and he may not always respond. I knew this from the beginning. It is written above his email on his web page and he makes you sign a form stating his policies and that email may not be confidential. Before he said anything I knew that was how it was and I was totally OK with it. Now that it has been said though I am having a really hard time with it. One, I knew something was off when I saw him Monday anyway (off with him not between us) but then I knew he wouldn’t bring it up unless he wasn’t going to reply this week (sometimes he does sometimes he doesn’t). I have read and re read the email over and over and there is nothing in it that requires a response. But still I am hurting. Nothing has changed. Nothing. From the beginning he only ever responded to maybe half of the emails (usually 1/week sometimes 2. Except for the time he asked for updates because he was out of town and he was concerned). Next week he is not seeing clients Monday and the only other easy day to get the car is Thursday so it is even longer between sessions than usual but that is on me. Nothing change he just said it... and now I am a mess.

[Out There]

Sounds like it's bringing up some deep feelings here and you're trying to sort them out. That's very often painful , they probably come from a young place and often times we may not even know what they are , they're unconscious and convoluted with what they connect to ( I did EMDR where you're able to see a lot of this ) What we do know is we feel them and they hurt. Your T sounds very good , I've found good T's often bring this stuff to the surface. Hugs.

[guilloche]

*hugs*, Omers... so sorry that things are painful now, and that you've got such a long wait before your next T visit.

Does it help at all to look at your T's website, or can you call and just listen for a couple seconds to his outgoing voicemail (I'm assuming, from what you've said, that he'd be OK with this).

Just wondering, because it sounds like part of what's hurting is to not have that sense of connection (since he's not responding, and you have a long wait to see him again) - if doing things like this might help you feel a tiny, little bit more connected... maybe just ease things enough to help you get through?

I'm truly sorry though, it's a really rotten place to be in.

[Omers]

I messaged T about this specifically and he did take the time to reply. He basically said the same as you guys have said, this is a hard part of therapy. He suggested journaling and gave me some writing prompts and said we could talk about it more in session on Thursday.

[Omers]

Originally Posted by guilloche

*hugs*, Omers... so sorry that things are painful now, and that you've got such a long wait before your next T visit.

Does it help at all to look at your T's website, or can you call and just listen for a couple seconds to his outgoing voicemail (I'm assuming, from what you've said, that he'd be OK with this

I am on his website so much my husband thinks T is my screen saver thankfully there are two pictures of him on it and a picture of part of his office (not the part we usually work in... but part). I don’t like calling his VM because he randomly answers! I really don’t like phones... BUT he has left me two supportive VM messages before that I saved. He has a blog I can read past entries on (someone else is keeping it up for him now and I don’t like it)... but I should have all the old ones memorized any day now then he looks at me funny because I accidentally quote him. he also used essential oils in his office and I have some of the same ones at home so I can make it smell like his office. thankfully he doesn’t seem to mind he just worries about me getting too attached.

[Omers]

Oh, and T seemed thankful that I went to him and shared that I was struggling rather than running away or pushing him away. He seemed quite OK with answering a quick email rather than having to work around a bunch of sabotaging behaviors.