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Old Mar 12, 2019, 07:11 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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"Therapy isn't finished until you have detached from the therapist."

Discuss.
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  #2  
Old Mar 12, 2019, 07:13 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Why?



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  #3  
Old Mar 12, 2019, 07:40 PM
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I can see the truth in that statement.

If your therapist is the safe place that you went to, to heal and learn what the boundaries are for a healthy relationship, I feel that you (I) will have to learn a stand alone strength.

If your therapist has been the example of a healthy and safe relationship, I would imagine that there is an attachment to them or that space they represent. I know for me that is true.

I’m still working on holding that line of setting boundaries and feeling strength in doing it. It scares me right now to think of that place not being there to help encourage me, learn and find strength.

When I’m ready, I’m sure I will feel a type of healthy detachment to go out and hold those boundaries, in strength, in my own.

That is my feeling or reply to your statement.

Thank you for the discussion invitation! It made me think about it!
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  #4  
Old Mar 12, 2019, 07:58 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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I can see that. Hate isnt the opposite of love, indifference is. So until you feel indifferent to your t.
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  #5  
Old Mar 12, 2019, 10:42 PM
Anonymous56789
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Recently had a similar conclusion:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/6444508-post36.html

But that's not the end just yet ..after the attachment ends, you rebuild and grow in the person you were meant to be.

Last edited by Anonymous56789; Mar 13, 2019 at 12:15 AM.
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CantExplain
  #6  
Old Mar 12, 2019, 11:06 PM
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I don’t understand hate and indifference.
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"What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning

"Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning
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  #7  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 12:18 AM
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koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
"Therapy isn't finished until you have detached from the therapist."
yup! i absolutely agree with this!

as soon as i knew i had successfully and healthily detached from my T, i was 100% ready to terminate. although i knew i still had work to do on myself, i knew the work i needed to do with with my T was complete and i no longer had the desire or felt the need to be in therapy. i was ready to spread my wings and leave the nest.

out of curiosity, who is the author of said quote?
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #8  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 12:29 AM
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downandlonely downandlonely is offline
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I have never attached to a T, so it wasn't necessary to detach.

I have another question: Is it necessary to become attached in order to heal? I feel that therapists are like doctors or other professionals. They are there to help us, but not to become family members. From reading others' posts, I feel like this attachment (many have described it as love) is not the healthiest feeling to have towards a paid professional.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, sarahsweets
  #9  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 01:08 AM
winterblues17 winterblues17 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
"Therapy isn't finished until you have detached from the therapist."

Discuss.
Yeah I think that def applies to me, I was attached, she left anyway and I wasn't ready at all. I also think by leaving therapy whilst in mid attachment then it can actually be rather damaging.
I'm personally left with less trust than ever in life!
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #10  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 01:38 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by koru_kiwi View Post
yup! i absolutely agree with this!

as soon as i knew i had successfully and healthily detached from my T, i was 100% ready to terminate. although i knew i still had work to do on myself, i knew the work i needed to do with with my T was complete and i no longer had the desire or felt the need to be in therapy. i was ready to spread my wings and leave the nest.

out of curiosity, who is the author of said quote?
It was your humble servant.

Namely me.
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Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
Thanks for this!
koru_kiwi
  #11  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 01:54 AM
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koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
It was your humble servant.

Namely me.
well said
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #12  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 03:39 AM
Amyjay Amyjay is offline
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Therapy is finished when therapy is finished regardless of one's state of attachment or detachment.
Obviously.
  #13  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 03:44 AM
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SalingerEsme SalingerEsme is offline
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I cant imagine being able to detach from my T- it is so intense. I hope that day comes naturally as a part of growth.
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CantExplain
  #14  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 05:21 AM
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MoxieDoxie MoxieDoxie is offline
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Yeah but the more you are with a person the deeper the bond and connection grows. How will you ever "naturally" detach to them. You have to wean yourself off of them like a drug otherwise the withdrawals are painful.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
  #15  
Old Mar 13, 2019, 05:41 AM
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is offline
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I think it depends on the person and the therapy. I think this forum attaches a large amount of people (not exclusively, but a lot) for whom attachment difficulties are a part of therapy. If that's the case, then perhaps? I don't know. Different people do need different things from therapy. But I think the bigger proportion of therapy clients in general (in my experience) come with a specific issue or set of issues they wish to explore and resolve and the therapist and attachment don't come into it.
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