[Omers]

Talked to a friend from the church I attended in high school. Old T goes there too (was a member before I started going or seeing her as a T). After we terminated therapy she became a close friend and mentor which is how others in the church see us. Anyway, my friend said old T was asking about me because I don’t stay in touch any more (I have isolated myself from almost everyone the last 4-5 years). So I caught old T up on family and let her know about new T and my new job.
I worked with old T back around 1993-1997ish... for 3 or so years. She was always very kind, accepting and welcoming even when I was totally nasty. I was terribly afraid of her and hated her pretty much the whole time. She knew me when I was totally terrified of men so I am curious to see how she will react to me having a male T. But... it was really strange having old T and new T in the same thought bubble. How much they have in common (psychologists, similar schools of thought/training, his waiting room looks like her living room, shared interests/hobbies) and how different the experiences are. I know that while old T and I really didn’t accomplish anything as T/client how she is impacting my relationship to new T. Spending time with her and her husband, meeting one of her adult daughters, seeing her at church, helping with her holiday party, staying with her and her husband on visits home... how I got to see a side of old T that most never do and often wonder about... how it made her oh so very normal and human. How those experiences help me to trust new T and feel safe with him, how it lets me see some of his quirks and foibles that would drive me bonkers in any other kind of relationship, how it lets me trust that he really does care.
New T is out of town this week to go visit one of his grandkids. I am struggling with the idea of a week off. Now, having put him in the same thought bubble as old T I know that at some point, at least once on his trip, I am going to be one of those intrusive work thoughts we all get on vacation. That for a brief moment in his joy, without me doing anything, I am going to come to mind, there will be sadness in him for a moment, maybe wonder how I am, and then he will return to the present moment... without anyone else knowing I was in the room for that moment.