What have you learned from leaving therapy?

I am always confused as to why you reply to any therapy threads being that you do not like it, support it and think its a waste of time.

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Originally Posted by BudFox From what i've seen, a meaningful number of therapy relationships are hierarchical and fear-based. Clients give up some of their dignity and power in order to "get help" and begin taking subtle forms of abuse in order not to be cut off from the supply of reassurance or alleged insight. Not saying it's always that way. I found it was a Wizard of Oz thing... look behind the curtain and see that therapists are just as stupid and broken as everyone else. It's just an act. And i saw clearly how i'd been groveling for their phony wisdom.

I like his opinions and feedback - if you know his therapy story, his views come from personal therapy pain (ie not random trolling). I think it’s great that this forum has a plethora of different perspective and experiences. He’s offered explanations to things I’ve personally experienced and would have wondered if it was just me...

We are all working though something by posting here.

You apparently don’t understand the content of Bud’s post which is about hierarchy and power issues. I find his posts insightful, complementing my exploration of harmful therapy. He writes about topics the profession itself won’t explore.

Since you apparently can’t comprehend his posts, why gibe him with an ad hominem remark? Please give others the respect with their concerns you would like with yours. Why the compulsion to. “police” others? And if you dislike someone, how sincere is your feedback?

I was new to therapy about a year and a half ago and was very wary of the whole Wizard of Oz scenario, that you describe, but what I’ve recently found is that the whole wizard thing was my idea, not his. He’s never professed to be wiser than me, but has patiently waited for me to come to the realization that he’s just a regular person who is interested in listening to what I have to say. It’s a huge relief and I feel like I can finally start therapy.

My therapists actively would not allow me to idolize them or put them on a pedestal. They never claimed to have knowledge I didn't have, particularly about myself, and they certainly didn't claim to have all the answers (any actually). They were with me while I figured things out. They were there to dialogue and perhaps learn to utilize what I learned along the way with some regularity, always with the end goal to not have to rely on them through my problems.

In retrospect my idolizing clearly was a folie à deux. They controlled my narrative, "interpreted" me, others and events. They diagnosed people they've never me and pretended to understand what they never witnessed. They performed inhuman feats of omniscience.

They were scornful and authoritative, encouraging me to solicit their approval. They encouraged me to expose my weakest, most flawed, most anguished parts, which of course, was far from the total picture of my life.

(I made the mistake once of mentioning a success the first day of group therapy, and was reproached for it.)

I'm sometimes in group situations where others might find my role itself intimidating. I don't want anyone on alert, self-conscious or doing their role guessing how to "please" me. I do my best to relax, be part of the group and give feedback humbly.

I can't respect these would-be gurus who were my therapists, particularly since I really needed to get in touch with my own effectiveness and maturity.

Who says I do not think his posts are insightful? I do not know why you are upset with me saying I do not comprehend what he means. I didn't know there was context or subtext I was missing and I was unaware that I was supposed to know there was- I do not look for the context or subtext of every single person that posts. I certainly do not want to seem like I am policing anyone. He obviously didn't like therapy or have a good experience so I was confused about why he chose to post. If you are saying he means to post to inform others about what happened in his experience then I wish he would share more about what he means. I struggle sometimes with understanding social cues and what people mean. I certainly didnt mean to ad hominem attack anyone. I do not think its nice to imply that I am not intelligent enough to understand his posts. I have had my own bad experiences with therapy and I try and share about them in the threads about harmful therapy- I didnt realize this section was also for that.
Bud- my apologies for misunderstanding the intent of your post or the context behind it. I didn't realize what you were trying to say- I am human.

Quote:

Originally Posted by missbella You apparently don’t understand the content of Bud’s post which is about hierarchy and power issues. I find his posts insightful, complementing my exploration of harmful therapy. He writes about topics the profession itself won’t explore. Since you apparently can’t comprehend his posts, why gibe him with an ad hominem remark? Please give others the respect with their concerns you would like with yours. Why the compulsion to. “police” others? And if you dislike someone, how sincere is your feedback?

Ok so socially- saying “I don’t understand why you post on this forum” comes across much differently than saying “I don’t understand what you are trying to convey with this post”.

The former implies judgment and that someone is not welcome to post on a forum. With the latter expressing curiosity in what the person is saying.

I’m not trying to be patronizing - but with difficulties reading social cues, it might be confusing understanding the source of angry or rude replies to the way you word your posts. Not justifying anybody or anything, just trying to help.

I’m not too concerned myself with how anyone else posts - if I don’t like what I read I try to disengage (esp if I am clashing with someone), or I do not reply at all. Confrontation and arguing stresses me out. I’m also slowly learning where to post in this forum and how to post - I.e. trying to read what a person is looking for when asking for help, and if I don’t feel like I can offer anything constructive I pass. It can be tricky ground.