[GeekyOne]

How have you used acceptance in your life/therapy and to what end?

Recently my T has kind of been pushing acceptance and self compassion. I’m not really clear on it, I guess.

How does accepting that I feel (whatever) not also include at least the implication that it’s okay?

Because it’s not okay that I feel those things. Isn’t that why I’m seeing her?

How is this not just a politer way of saying she has no hope for me either?

How does acceptance work next to all the CBT stuff about changing your thoughts will change your feelings?

I think acceptance in the context you refer to is merely being ok with allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you feel and without judgement upon yourself for it. I don't think it implies that your feelings are good or bad, just that they are. I'm not familiar with CBT other than some quick reading. It would make sense that the first step to changing anything starts with acceptance and looking at something for what it truly is. Otherwise, how could you be clear on what needs changed?

[Pennster]

My therapist uses some techniques from ACT- this video is kind of a useful explainer-

Nemo explained it similarly to how I understand it- acceptance is about allowing yourself to feel things without judging yourself for it. And also learning to take your feelings pretty lightly, and to realise that you don’t have to stop moving toward your goals just because you are anxious or whatever- you can keep going, bringing all your feelings with you.

I don’t know how it goes along with more traditional CBT, however, though I suspect in comparison that it sort of de-emphasizes the idea that you have to change your feelings.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Acceptance while I was in the midst of therapy was about allowing that what I was going through was not "wrong." It wasn't a failing; it was simply a stage I was having to travel through. Acceptance was about not negatively judging myself for understandable responses to trauma, depression, events, etc. No, they weren't easy or comfortable or even particularly tolerable at the time, but I wasn't "bad" or irrevocably flawed for them. It allowed me to get that guilt trip and shame off my back; Lord knows I didn't need MORE guilt and shame. Acceptance kept me from piling more, completely unnecessary, crap on an already large pile of crap.

Acceptance post-therapy is, for me, taking life one day at a time, knowing there will be problems that come up, and kind of having an "it is what it is" outlook about what's going on. I take what "it is" one issue at a time. I deal with it the best I can, and if things aren't perfect, that's just the best it's going to be and that's okay. I don't have to let problems spiral into major crises anymore. Even rather huge difficulties (like family deaths or major illnesses) I can accept as temporary issues along the way. I deal with them the best I can and keep moving on to the next day. I can accept that some of these issues will take time; there will be good days and bad days. AND that is completely normal. I no longer beat myself about the head and shoulders for having bad days. It's amazing how just that level of acceptance keeps bad days from spiraling into bad weeks and months.