Couch 194: The Floral Couch

The noodle bake turned out fine. Except I’m not sure the chicken was gf. I didn’t notice the lack of labeling until I had eaten some and was cleaning up. So now I feel like I’m sitting on a ticking time bomb. Guess I’ll know soon enough.

I would write back and refuse the appointment and tell him he does not get to dictate a schedule to me.
That sort of thing on the part of the therapist would not be something I would tolerate

Good lord.
No - but I am not keen when women get singled out (her husband is also a part of it as well as quite a few other men) and people get all huffy.
And I think this is a pointless thing to get worked up over. To me, this is like the nutty outrage over Lance Armstrong - he is a jerk, but the idea that he enhanced his performance is really not a giant shock or great moral deficiency.

I am not sure I am going.. but also, I might gladly take it because what he basically accused me of is something that bothers me so much I need him to acknowledge it as not true.

He said that he could not be available to me all the time and that is what I was mad at. Which really just pisses me off because I am all about the boundaries. I try my hardest not cross lines. And to me it feels like I violated something if he thinks that is what I expect of him. I am well aware that he is my therapist and this it is a job and he has other clients that take his time, and a life of his own. I got angry with him this week, because what is the point of a safety plan if t does nothing. He tells me all the time that if I need him I could call/text him and he could see me. This week he knew how much pain I was in, knew I was on the cancellation list, but could not find anytime at all Monday - Friday. Also, I texted Friday morning to tell him I was feeling like my SI were getting harder to ignore and had all day that I could do something. That is my safety plan, that is what we both discussed I should do. And it took him 7 hours to respond back. Hell, he even told me during a recent trip that we would both be on for our daughters as my anxiety was bad, that if I was having a hard time I could contact him and he would take time to talk with me in person if need be. I was the one to say to him he is not my therapist outside of my office, and he said I know, but if I need him it was an option. I did not take him up on that by the way. Yet, somehow I am accused of expecting him to be available to him all the time.

I may be done with the whole therapy thing..

Your talking me down seems to be helping. My gorge is falling.

I got dirt today! This is when you know you've got the adulting thing down: Excitement about dirt.
I decided that even though it's likely we'll be selling the house mid-summer, I will still plant my garden, and because we will likely be selling, the yard needs to look good.

So a big truck dumped a giant pile of dirt in my driveway this morning. This year, they delivered the dirt we ordered. Actually, I had to call them and ask them: You delivered the wrong dirt to my house last year, and that's what I want, but I don't have any idea what it is because it wasn't what I'd ordered. They didn't have a record of it either, so the guy very patiently helped me to narrow it down by listening to me describe the dirt, then describing the four different kinds of dirt it could be. When he got to "It almost smells sweet" I said, "That's it!" because it really does smell amazing, for dirt.

So today we all hauled lots of dirt. I am dirty and exhausted and feel queasy after eating a "Good work, everyone!" celebratory donut, but it felt really good to get out in the sun and move after being cooped up sick all week.

the problem with celebrities and sports people is rhatthe public forget that they are only people who are susceptible to failings like greed envy jealousy etc

oh and the media is a very large part of the whole problem

And.... this is coming from a therapist who ended my last session so he could deal with another one of his clients who was basically throwing a fit until she got t on the phone with her. Yet I expect too much?

Since the Tower of Babel!

Well, maybe someone can explain to me - and i dont mean to be picking on you, or saying this is what youre doing.

Whats the point in saying, "well NOW i dont have time for YOU!" when your t comes around to you and says, okay, your turn, lets go.

We wait in line for their availability. So what? Its a one-to-many relationship, they are one, we are many. Its one-to-one when its our time.

Seriously, i am asking, why are we saying we are mad at them because this is how it is? Or is it... transference?

It is disrespectful for a therapist to think a client is going to drop everything and come when they beckon.

only to help ease my anxiety it is 22 hours to go. at least i am not as bad as a week ago doing this just about evry hour

But youre standing in line waiting. You beckoned first. And you can multitask.

Glass half empty, half full, i say.

I mean, otherwise waddya do, just wait for your turn to come around again, and refuse it again?

To clarify, we are talking about NOT regularly scheduled sessions, but more like out of session contact?

Again - not surprising we disagree. I consider it a difference to say "I have tomorrow open at 4 if you would like - please let me know by X tonight if you would like to have an appointment at that time"
v
"I will see you at X tomorrow morning"
I would consider the former and completely refuse the latter.
Therapists do not get to dictate to me when I will have an appointment. They can offer and I can accept or decline. I never felt like I had to take anything they had - I also have choice. I never felt like I needed them any more than I thought they needed clients (not me specifically -but they actually do need people to hand them money to sit there).
I do not believe the therapist is doing the client a favor by having a free spot in which to see them. I see it as the therapist makes money from appointments and wants to fill a spot with someone from whom they will make money.

Tomorrow i am definitely going out to an urban sketchers event i have cleaned of my camping chair and put it in the boot. it seems doable now but i will wait and see

That is for sure how it felt.. he always says, I have an appointment open at this time let me know if you want it.. or I will put you in on this time in case you do want it. Not, I have time x open see you then. Though to be fair he did know that one of the things that I was pissed about was not being able to get into see him last week. So, I think he may have said it that way because he assumed I would want the first possible appointment he had open.

But isn't this the T that is notorious for cancelling at the last minute, not showing up, and generally screwing up appt times? At least that's the impression I've had for a long time.

At first I thought you meant skechers the shoes, but then I realized you mean sketchers the people who do art. That sounds way cooler than shoes. I hope you get to go.

What do urban sketchers sketch?
That sounds like a tongue twister: How many sketchers would a sketchy sketcher sketch if a sketchy sketcher could sketch sketchers?

they are group of people who meet in their local areas and draw in whatever medium they prefer what they see whether it is buildings a street scene but tomorrow they are going to a railway museum which interests me as my great grand father, grandfather and brother were all train driver
Urban Sketchers Chicago: 7 Ways To Enjoy Urban Sketching More

Again, my question was, what is the point of saying no? To teach the t a lesson? Arent you cutting off your nose to spite your face? Are you trying to beat him to the punch? Hurt him before he hurts you again? The t is NOT IMPORTANT. They are replaceable!

If your only goal is some weird kind of revenge, then fine, dont go. But if you actually wanted help with something, or to talk to someone, then go talk when they are available. Isnt it just that simple? You cant talk to them when they are NOT there! What am i missing?

You have to take a leap of faith and trust they will be there, and that things can be different. Thats whats scary. Said the lady who's been afraid to take a shower for two weeks, gross.

We were looking into buying a mobile home. We just found out that the park can deny your application if you have a low credit score (which we do). *SIGH* Looks like all we can do is rent...but of course, they check your freaking credit score too!!! We might be living in a motel for awhile

It is not for revenge that I would not go - the therapist cares not whether I am there or not. But I do care how the therapist approaches it, their attitude, and what I would have to do to arrange my schedule to attend. If you don't, then fine. But I greatly would care. How would I feel if I acquiesced to what amounts to a summons from the therapist versus if I declined to be summoned in such a perfunctory fashion?
I never found all that much benefit from them and no help at all so that is part of it for me.

That is clearly stated. I mean, you clearly state that my assumptions dont hold for you, so it follows that neither would my conclusions.

Ha ha! In other words, we agree!

But - im still left with my assumptions and my stinky conclusions...

Your stinky conclusions make sense for me.