Dear T: I really need to tell you something XL

puzzclar · May 07, 2019 at 05:41 PM

Do I need to see you soon? I'm just so emotional, and scared!

velcro003 · May 07, 2019 at 08:53 PM

I don't count what I told you as a 'doorknob confession' tonight. I knew you'd be too excited about it.

susannahsays · May 07, 2019 at 10:11 PM

I was just lying here in my bed thinking I want to shock you with my badness. Only that can't actually be true. If it were, I had the chance to do it today in session. I could have told you any of the things that were in my head. I didn't because the thought horrified me. I guess I must not actually want to shock you with my badness since I passed up the opportunity to do so.

Pathetic.

atisketatasket · May 07, 2019 at 10:17 PM

Dear No. 3,

I dreamt about you last night. I was searching for you and couldn’t find you. Somehow I was in my childhood home. I looked out the window and a car I knew was yours pulled up, except it was just like my mother’s old VW beetle, only yours was gray. At that point I woke up.

Don’t think that dream needs interpreting, but now I miss you.

ATAT

Lemoncake · May 08, 2019 at 04:09 AM

I'm annoyed at you.

I'm not in a crisis or anything, but I emailed on sunday asking if I could have an earlier session either on tuesday or today as I don't have any classes instead of seeing you thursday.

Dunno why you couldn't just say either say if it was possible or not without asking if it was a permanent or temporary thing?

Lemoncake · May 08, 2019 at 07:10 AM

So i'll just take that as a no. You don't get that the waiting around for you is the hardest thing. I don't want to be so weak in this need for you.

Just leave me alone.

Lemoncake · May 08, 2019 at 11:57 AM

So thanks for the session today!

Amyjay · May 08, 2019 at 12:54 PM

T, I don't think I want to see you again.

piggy momma · May 08, 2019 at 07:00 PM

I’ve sent you THREE messages asking to reschedule our appt next week. The courtesy of a reply would be nice.

circlesincircles · May 08, 2019 at 07:35 PM

Welp, I've written the message. Am I going to send it?

kaleidoscopeheart · May 08, 2019 at 08:15 PM

Dear T,

One more session, just one before the five week break that I have been dreading. I don't know if I am ready for this....I don't think I am. I am already hurting from the pain of missing you.

WarmFuzzySocks · May 08, 2019 at 09:44 PM

I'm supposed to see you tomorrow.

I hit a wall today and I am secretly completely overwhelmed, though no one would know it from looking at me.

You'd think that would be a great time to go to therapy, right? Except I have hit the spot where I am hanging on by Coping, the kind with a capital C. The people around me need so much of my presence and energy and attention right now that I don't have time, space, energy to let go of my stuff. I am gripping it so tightly that I might disintegrate if I let it go.

I don't think once a month is often enough right now. And I don't want to find another therapist and start over because in some respects I am in the home stretch here. And I don't think it would be a good idea to quit. So....Coping.

And I probably won't tell you any of this tomorrow.

Anastasia~ · May 08, 2019 at 10:23 PM

I just want to give up on everything.

It's all just too painful.

goatee · May 08, 2019 at 11:50 PM

T, why am I freaking out about everything. How do I find my way back.

dontworrybaby · May 09, 2019 at 12:12 AM

Sounds weird but I feel like I need guidelines for how sessions are supposed to go and what I’m supposed to be talking about. I have so much on my mind all the time and I admit I feel this tiny pressure to talk about what I’m “supposed” to talk about, those things being whatever causes me to feel this emptiness and shame that probably is related to the childhood trauma, but it hurts too much to say that. And it’s triggering in itself. I cry and feel drained after every session and this has been happening for about a month. It doesn’t feel unmanageable, but it’s not pleasant.

I’m trying, I just don’t know how to approach the topic in a way. What is the topic?

I don’t know why but I feel this need to ask you if there are any questions you’d like to ask me. Maybe about the things you’re hoping I get into but I can’t figure out what you want.

Generally there’s this sense of “There’s something you’re not telling me.” It’s this suspicion that seems misplaced because you’ve done nothing to earn that. But still, I want to know what you’re not telling me.

chihirochild · May 09, 2019 at 02:34 AM

T,

It’s only been a week and a half but it feels like it’s been a long time.

-c

May 09, 2019 at 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

I'm supposed to see you tomorrow.

I hit a wall today and I am secretly completely overwhelmed, though no one would know it from looking at me.

You'd think that would be a great time to go to therapy, right? Except I have hit the spot where I am hanging on by Coping, the kind with a capital C. The people around me need so much of my presence and energy and attention right now that I don't have time, space, energy to let go of my stuff. I am gripping it so tightly that I might disintegrate if I let it go.

I don't think once a month is often enough right now. And I don't want to find another therapist and start over because in some respects I am in the home stretch here. And I don't think it would be a good idea to quit. So....Coping.

And I probably won't tell you any of this tomorrow.

**offers hugs if wanted** WFS, I hope things ease up soon

88Butterfly88 · May 09, 2019 at 08:17 AM

Dear T,

You picked a bad week to go away. Are you back yet?

-Butterfly

piggy momma · May 09, 2019 at 10:03 AM

I think I’m just going to cancel our last appointment. You obviously don’t respect me or my time enough to reply to a simple request to move the appointment, even tho I’ve contacted you three times to change it. I’m over begging for stuff and feeling like you own me. . Have a nice summer, I guess.

LostOnTheTrail · May 09, 2019 at 11:55 AM

Thank you for being an anchor for me, when I cannot be so for myself.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XL

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puzzclar Elder Member Since Jan 2010 Location: Where? US Posts: 5,621 14 101 hugs given	May 07, 2019 at 05:41 PM #301 Do I need to see you soon? I'm just so emotional, and scared!

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	May 07, 2019 at 08:53 PM #302 I don't count what I told you as a 'doorknob confession' tonight. I knew you'd be too excited about it.

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,149 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	May 07, 2019 at 10:17 PM #304 Dear No. 3, I dreamt about you last night. I was searching for you and couldn’t find you. Somehow I was in my childhood home. I looked out the window and a car I knew was yours pulled up, except it was just like my mother’s old VW beetle, only yours was gray. At that point I woke up. Don’t think that dream needs interpreting, but now I miss you. ATAT

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	May 08, 2019 at 07:10 AM #306 So i'll just take that as a no. You don't get that the waiting around for you is the hardest thing. I don't want to be so weak in this need for you. Just leave me alone. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	May 08, 2019 at 11:57 AM #307 So thanks for the session today! __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	May 08, 2019 at 12:54 PM #308 T, I don't think I want to see you again.

piggy momma Poohbah Member Since Oct 2018 Location: Canada Posts: 1,073 5 70 hugs given	May 08, 2019 at 07:00 PM #309 I’ve sent you THREE messages asking to reschedule our appt next week. The courtesy of a reply would be nice.

circlesincircles Member Member Since May 2018 Location: United States Posts: 303 5	May 08, 2019 at 07:35 PM #310 Welp, I've written the message. Am I going to send it?

kaleidoscopeheart Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: Parts Unknown Posts: 333 7 77 hugs given	May 08, 2019 at 08:15 PM #311 Dear T, One more session, just one before the five week break that I have been dreading. I don't know if I am ready for this....I don't think I am. I am already hurting from the pain of missing you.

Anastasia~ Poohbah Member Since Jul 2017 Location: Somewhere Posts: 1,019 6 5,296 hugs given	May 08, 2019 at 10:23 PM #313 I just want to give up on everything. It's all just too painful. __________________

goatee Member Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Florida Posts: 322 7 567 hugs given	May 08, 2019 at 11:50 PM #314 T, why am I freaking out about everything. How do I find my way back.

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	May 09, 2019 at 02:34 AM #316 T, It’s only been a week and a half but it feels like it’s been a long time. -c

88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,206 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	May 09, 2019 at 08:17 AM #318 Dear T, You picked a bad week to go away. Are you back yet? -Butterfly

piggy momma Poohbah Member Since Oct 2018 Location: Canada Posts: 1,073 5 70 hugs given	May 09, 2019 at 10:03 AM #319 I think I’m just going to cancel our last appointment. You obviously don’t respect me or my time enough to reply to a simple request to move the appointment, even tho I’ve contacted you three times to change it. I’m over begging for stuff and feeling like you own me. . Have a nice summer, I guess.