Acceptable Expressions of Negative Feelings in Therapy

I believe I am the poster you referenced. To clarify, the therapist has always been receptive to my anger in session. What she does not like is when I send angry text messages that she is compelled to respond to. She did not outright forbid me to do this, she said it is her "preference" that I wait until session to address any issues I have with her.

I do not think she would welcome me yelling at her. I do not think that would be ok, either, nor do I think it appropriate for me to tell her I hate her. I am not an infant and throwing a literal temper tantrum complete with yelling is not ok. If the therapist were to do something deserving of such treatment, I might leave her a voicemail, but I would not confront her in person in that way out of respect for the other clients having sessions. I obviously would not continue seeing a therapist who deserved to be yelled at and hated.

I would rather look down on someone who was ok with me yelling at them and telling them I hated them.

I have leveled many accusations at the therapist.

Yes! I didn’t want to steal the other thread with winding questions or call anybody out. Hopefully I wasn’t implying that all the scenarios in my original question applied to you specifically.

It’s so strange - I’ve noticed that the questions, responses and advice on this board vary wildly around what is normal and acceptable in therapy vs what is a boundary crossing. The difference between therapists at times also seems enormous. Then, clients seem to have their own moral compasses around what they will and won’t do in therapy, and that varies wildly by person as well.

Some therapists seem mildly annoyed at various behaviors that other therapists terminate for on the spot. Some therapists seem really excited when clients have strong angry reactions and others seem unwilling to touch it. Frequency and types of out of session contact are all over the place, as is what can be expressed in those modalities.

Like I said, so interesting and I’m glad people felt comfortable responding.

Also, I don't see how a therapist can fire a client when the client is the one paying. It would be like quitting your job but calling it firing your employer. It doesn't make any sense.

(Although, come to think of it, I like the idea of quitting a job and framing it as firing your boss... probably because I have defiance issues...)